


No Better Place

by fiona_cat2004



Category: Narcos (TV)
Genre: Angst and Fluff and Smut, Chair Sex, Couch Sex, Eventual Smut, F/M, Friends to Lovers, Horses, Javier Peña needs a hug, Oral Sex, Romance, Slow Burn, Smut, Vaginal Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-07
Updated: 2021-02-20
Packaged: 2021-03-13 03:33:58
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 22
Words: 54,119
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29271807
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fiona_cat2004/pseuds/fiona_cat2004
Summary: “There is no better place to heal a broken heart than on the back of a horse.” - Missy LyonsJavier Pena has returned to his father’s Texas ranch after suddenly quitting the DEA. Will a chance encounter with a new neighbor help him figure out how to move on with his life?Disclaimer: I have never watched Narcos, I’ve never been to Texas, and I know nothing about law enforcement. I do know a little about horses, though, lol.I wrote this story for a friend who loves Javier Pena and my characterization of him is inspired by the way he is portrayed in “Curriculum Vitae” by tiffdawg. https://archiveofourown.org/works/23989966/chapters/57707662There will be smut as the story progresses (because thisisJavier Pena we’re talking about).
Relationships: Javier Peña/Original Character(s)
Comments: 56
Kudos: 51





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Javi has a bad day. Just a quick chapter to set the scene. 
> 
> Chapter warnings: language

The hot Laredo sun beat down on Javier Pena’s head as he wrestled with a fence post. He’d turned down his father’s offer of a hat that morning, not wanting to look like a goddamned cowboy wannabe, but now he regretted it. His dark hair was absorbing the sun’s radiation like a black hole sucking up starlight and he was sweating like an informant under interrogation.

“How you doing, _mijo_?” Chucho Pena said from the back of his red roan horse. Javier looked up at his father, glad his aviator sunglasses hid the contempt in his eyes. 

“How do you think?” Javi spat, kicking at the stubborn post. The old one had rotted through and needed to be replaced, but this new post was slightly too small for the old post hole and kept tilting, pulling awkwardly at the barbed wire. He could have dug a new post hole, but the ground was baked so hard from the summer heat that it would have been easier to chisel a hole in granite. So Javi was trying to get the damned thing to stand up by packing the hole with dirt and rocks and whatever else he could scrape up from the surrounding ground.

Chucho shook his head. “Kicking it won’t help,” he said mildly. “Might even break your toe if you aren’t careful. How the hell did you survive in Colombia?”

“Just lucky, I guess,” Javi retorted. He asked himself that question every day, or at least a variant of it: _why_ had he survived Colombia? Because it didn’t make sense that he was still alive after that hellhole.

Chucho reined his gelding around. “Well, don’t stay out here too long,” he said. “If you get heatstroke, don’t come running to me.” He tapped the horse’s sides with his heels and trotted away.

Javi shook his head. “Maybe I should just stay out here, roast my brains in the sun and feed the coyotes,” he muttered. His horse, a rangy chestnut, snorted at him. Javi wasn’t sure if it the mare was agreeing with him or chiding him for being stupid, but either way, it reminded him that he wasn’t alone out here in the desert, and that was enough to make him return to his work. It might not matter much to the world if he died out here, but his dad couldn’t afford to lose a good horse.

He finally got the fence post to stand mostly upright and decided it was good enough. The mare, who had stood quietly while he worked, one hind leg cocked as she dozed in the heat, suddenly decided she hated standing still. “What the hell is wrong with you?” Javi asked her, as he jerked at the reins. “Stand still for fuck’s sake. Goddamned horse.” She snorted and tossed her head but stood long enough for him to get his foot in the stirrup and swing himself into the saddle. Years behind a desk had left him stiff and awkward when he mounted. As a teenager, he’d been able to vault gracefully onto a horse’s back; now it was more of a lurch, accompanied by an undignified grunt.

He kicked the mare into a trot as they headed toward the ranch house. It was hot and he needed a cold drink and a rest on the porch before the afternoon round of chores began. At the barn, he slid out of the saddle and handed the reins to Paco, the old man who mucked the stalls and groomed the horses in exchange for a tiny apartment in the loft. 

Without a word, Javi headed for the house. Walking through the back door, he went into the kitchen, grabbed a cold beer out of the fridge, and walked through the house to plop down on the bench on the front porch. Coco, the cattle dog bitch who’d appointed herself Javi’s new best friend the moment he’d set foot on the ranch three months ago, appeared from under the porch and rested her chin on his knee.

“Yeah, yeah, hi,” Javi said, reluctantly patting the dog’s head. It was embarrassing how happy she was to see him, even if he’d only been out of her sight for ten minutes. “Don’t know why you’re so obsessed with me,” he muttered. “I’m not worth it, you know.” He took a swig of beer and wiped the sweat off his forehead with the back of his hand. Tomorrow, he’d swallow his pride and wear the damned hat.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cassidy Yates meets her neighbors, courtesy of the crazy horse she just bought. One of them is the enigmatic Javier Pena.
> 
> Chapter warnings: language

Cassidy Yates rolled reluctantly out of bed. It had been after two when she’d fallen into bed, but horses want to be fed on time and if she didn’t get up soon, there’d be a chorus of whinnying to face, not to mention a very pissed off cat. She pulled on a pair of jeans and tucked her nightshirt into them, wriggled into a sweatshirt and jammed her long hair in a knot underneath a baseball cap. As she padded barefoot to the kitchen, Linus wound himself between her ankles, nearly tripping her.

“Damned cat,” she muttered. “If you’d walk in a straight line …” The smoky gray cat merely chirped at her and waved his tail. She popped open a can of Friskies, dumped it on a plate and sat it on the kitchen floor in front of him and Linus dug in. “You’re welcome,” Cassidy said as she shoved her feet into the boots that stood by the back door. 

Outside, the sun was just peeping over the horizon and the birds were starting to rev up. It was chilly, but that wouldn’t last long and she enjoyed the cool air while she could. As she entered the barn, a chorus of whickers greeted her and she was wrapped in the warm, inviting smell of hay and horses.

“Good morning, kids,” she said as she unlocked the door to the feed room. It didn’t take long to fill three buckets with grain and supplements and lug them to the stalls. She swapped the full buckets with the empty ones from last night’s feed, then pulled the water buckets. She walked outside to dump and scrub them, and that’s when she saw it.

“Son of a bitch!,” she cried. Last night, when she’d finally gotten the trailer backed up and the crazy rescue horse unloaded, the pen had been in one piece. Now a whole section of fence was missing, shattered and piled on the ground. Hoof prints led away from the pen, heading east.

Once the other horses were watered and she’d given them each a flake of hay, she went back to the house for her keys, unhitched the trailer and drove the pickup down the long driveway. There was a ranch to her east, owned by an older Mexican-American man. Pena or something like that.

As she reached the gate of the ranch, she saw a bright bay horse trotting toward the outbuildings, its tail flagged and head held high. “Glad you’re feeling frisky,” she muttered. She laid on the horn, hoping someone would come open the gate quickly. 

“You speak English?,” she asked when a young man strolled out from the barn.

“Of course,” he said sharply. “What do you want?”

She gestured toward the horse, which was now circling the corral behind the house. “I think that’s my horse,” she said. “He busted out of his pen last night.”

The young man shook his head. “I’ll get Senor Pena,” he said. “Drive up to the house.” He unlocked the gate and swung it open, closing it again as soon as she’d cleared the fence line. 

Cassidy parked in the dirt drive next to a scraggly patch of lawn. There were several other pickups parked nearby, one a nice new Ford tucked under a carport. The rest were older Chevys and Fords, decorated with an assortment of dents and rust spots, much like her own blue beast.

“Can I help you, miss?” An older man came out of the house, his weather lined face the color of old saddle leather. “Chucho Pena,” he said, extending his hand. “Luis said something about a loose horse?”

“Yeah,” Cassidy said, hopping out of the truck. “I just moved into the McLane place a few weeks ago and I brought home a new horse last night. It was late and I put him in a pen but I guess he didn’t like it much. He busted out and I’m pretty sure that’s him messing around by your corral.” She gestured toward the pen where the bay was pacing back and forth along the fence. 

Chucho took a long look and nodded. “He’s not one of mine,” he said. “Let me get my son out of bed to help you. That one looks like a handful.”

Cassidy agreed. “He’s a crazy one, but I’m going to cut him as soon as I can get the vet out. I’ll try to catch him myself, but I’d appreciate any help you can offer. It took three of us to get him in the trailer last night at the auction.”

She fetched a halter and lead rope from the bed of the truck and walked slowly toward the corral where the colt was prancing back and forth, tossing his head and snorting to the mares who stood placidly inside. She was sure they were rolling their eyes at the young stud.

“Come on, buddy,” she said softly as she got closer. The colt froze, ears pricked, and stared at her before shying away. He trotted a few steps, stopped, then hopped sideways. “Oh, come on, I’m not gonna hurt you,” she crooned. “I just want to get you home and give you some breakfast.”

They danced for about twenty minutes before the colt suddenly threw his head up and bolted several yards, his muscles quivering. Cassidy turned to see what had spooked him and saw a man. He was about six feet tall, dark haired, with a thick mustache, aviator sunglasses and a sour look on his handsome face. Tight jeans and a loosely tucked in red checked shirt made him look like he belonged on the ranch, but something about him told her he didn’t feel at home here.

“My dad said you needed some help,” he said, nodding toward the colt. “I’m Javi.”

“Cassidy,” she said, trying not to let her eyes linger too long on his body. She told herself that cowboys were not her type, but this man was definitely not a cowboy, despite his father owning a ranch. She turned back toward the horse. “He’s a Thoroughbred. Bought him at an auction last night. Crazy bastard but I think he’ll make a good horse once I work with him a bit.”

Javi nodded. “What do you need me to do?”

Cassidy thought for a moment. “Can you open the gate to the corral without letting the mares out?,” she asked. If she could get the colt in an enclosed area, he’d be easier to catch.

Javi cocked his head. “You want to put him in with our horses?”

“Yeah,” Cassidy said, keeping her eye on the colt. “If we can get him in there, then bring out your mares, I should be able to get him settled down enough to get a halter on him.”

Javi shrugged and opened the corral gate. The two mares watched him calmly. He walked slowly away from the gate and walked around the corral until he was positioned as far from the colt and the gate as possible. He clicked his tongue at the mares, and they pricked their ears before ambling slowly toward him.

Cassidy worked her way around behind the colt, carefully herding him toward the open gate. “Go on,” she said softly. “Go see your girls. Come on, buddy.” The bay snorted and started to move away from the corral, but Cassidy shifted her weight and flicked the lead rope, which pushed the colt toward the other horses.

The moment he was inside the corral, Cassidy swung the gate shut and all three horses began to move around the pen. The mares pinned their ears at the newcomer and soon he was standing, worried, against one side of the corral while the mares followed Javi as he walked slowly toward the gate.

Cassidy heard him speaking quietly to them in Spanish as he approached her. She unlatched the gate, her eyes never leaving the nervous colt, even as she felt the heat of Javi’s body behind her. “You go in and I’ll get the mares out,” he said quietly. Cassidy nodded, trying not to think about the timbre of his voice. _Think about the horse, dumbass_ , she told herself. Letting a man distract her from her horses never worked out.

Once Javi had removed the ranch horses and Cassidy was alone with the colt, it was only a matter of time. She shook the lead rope at him and sent him trotting around and around the corral, hoping to tire him out a little before she attempted to put the halter on.

“Hah, hah, hah,” she chided every time the colt tried to slow down. “You want to run, you’re gonna run, buddy.” Finally, he flicked an ear at her and started to lower his head. She relaxed her stance and let him drop into a walk. Then she stopped turning with him and stood quietly. She heard the bay shuffling back and forth behind her for a minute before hoof beats slowly approached her. When she felt his hot breath blowing on her elbow, she turned slowly around. The colt stood less than a foot away, his ears still pricked but his eyes softer and not panicked.

“There we go,” she crooned. “See, I’m not gonna hurt you.” She held out the halter for him to sniff. When he didn’t shy from it, she slowly slipped it over his head and fastened the buckle. Once it was on, she attached the lead rope.

“Open the gate,” she called to Javi, who was leaning on the rail near the gate. The mares were gone, so he or Luis or Chucho must have taken them into the barn while she was busy. She led the colt through the gate, tightening her grip on the lead rope in case he shied from Javi. The horse did stop for a moment and blew sharply at the man, but he kept walking. 

“How are you going to get him home?” Chucho asked as she led the colt away from the corral. 

“Shit,” Cassidy said. She hadn’t thought about that. She’d driven the truck over without the trailer attached.

Chucho laughed. “Luis, saddle a horse for her,” he said. “And Javi, you follow her in her truck.” It was clear that Chucho was used to calling the shots on the ranch.

“Nice looking horse,” Chucho said, looking the colt over as they waited for Luis to bring her a saddle horse. “Where’d you get him?”

“Auction,” she said. “He’s a Thoroughbred but wasn’t fast enough for the track so they sold him as a jumper. But he’s a bit of a nut case and he went through about three barns before he ended up at that auction. I outbid the meat buyer for him.” She stroked the colt’s velvety nose. “I know he’s kind of skinny and wild right now, but he’s got that spark. Once I get him gelded and retrained, he’ll make a good riding horse.” She shook her head. “Don’t know why they didn’t cut him right away, but I guess he’s got good bloodlines or something. I don’t pay attention to all that. He could be sired by Secretariat for all I know, but who cares.”

Chucho nodded. “I like Quarter Horses, myself,” he said. “Quieter than Thoroughbreds and smarter. But I don’t care about the pedigree either. Hell, I don’t care where the horse comes from as long as it does its job.” He gestured toward the red roan that Luis was leading toward them. “That _cabron_ came off my friend’s ranch; he bought a mare, was working cattle with her and one morning he comes out and she’s got this ugly thing beside her. No idea who or what the sire was but she was a good cow horse and Rojo took after her.”

Cassidy ran her eyes over the roan. A rough boned gelding, a bit of a ewe neck and a clunky head, not much of a tail. He probably had some Appaloosa in him, maybe mustang. Nothing like the elegant bay colt but he had a kind, intelligent eye. She nodded. “Thanks.”

Chucho held the colt while she swung into Rojo’s saddle. As he handed her the lead rope, the colt danced up to the gelding, sniffing and blowing. “Javi will drive your truck and he can ride Rojo back home,” Chucho said. She glanced over at Javi, who was standing back, looking bored and resigned. 

“Keys are in the truck,” she called out to him. “And the gear shift sticks a bit going from reverse to drive, so you have to fiddle with it a bit.”

“Got it,” he said, turning on his heel and heading for the truck. Definitely a man of few words. Cassidy tried not to watch his ass as he walked away, but those jeans were so damned tight, she couldn’t help it. A chuckle brought her attention back to Chucho.

“He’s a ladies man, my son,” he said, “but he’s a mess. I wouldn’t get mixed up with him if I were you.” He touched the brim of his hat. “Just a bit of neighborly advice.”

Cassidy shook her head and settled into the saddle. Picking up the reins, she nudged Rojo with her knees, after making sure the lead rope was dallied loosely around the saddle horn just in case the colt jerked the rope from her hand. She needed to pay attention to the horses, not Javi Pena’s shapely ass.

The ride back to her place was uneventful, except for the colt shying at a jackrabbit and spooking Rojo into a crow hop that fortunately didn’t catch her entirely unaware. For the most part, she followed the side of the road but took a shortcut once she reached a trail she’d ridden a few times already and knew led right to her barn.

Javi was sitting in her truck when she arrived, slumped in the seat looking completely bored. He did hop out to take hold of Rojo’s bridle as she dismounted, though, and waited for her to lead the colt into the barn and tuck him into the stall she’d prepared for him yesterday. _Should have just put him away last night_ , she chided herself, but after being in a tiny pen at the auction and in the trailer for two hours, she’d wanted to give him a bit of a turnout.

“Thanks,” she said when she came out of the barn. Javi was standing beside Rojo, stroking the gelding’s nose. He shrugged.

“Thank my dad,” he said. “I just do what I’m told.” He sighed. “You good?”

“Yeah,” she said.

Javi nodded and swung into the saddle. He took a moment to adjust the stirrup leathers to accommodate his longer legs, then turned Rojo and trotted off without a word. Cassidy watched them for a moment, trying not to notice the way Javi’s hips moved with the horse’s gait. _Enough_ , she told herself. _Chucho warned you, and you already have enough on your plate_. Reluctantly, she turned away and headed back to the barn. She needed to feed, water and groom the colt before she could go back inside and change into something more appropriate for the heat that was already starting to build up as the sun shone down as only a south Texas sun can.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chucho volunteers Javi to help Cassidy fix her corral. 
> 
> Chapter warnings: language

Javi knew his dad wanted to talk about something the moment he sat down at the dinner table. “I was at the feed store this morning,” Chucho began. “Ran into Cassidy.”

Javi sighed. “Oh, yeah?” He shoved a spoonful of chili into his mouth so he had an excuse not to say anything more.

Chucho leaned back in his chair and took a sip of beer. “She thanked me for helping her catch that loco horse of hers. She wants to get the vet out to geld him soon but she needs to fix the fence on that pen first.” He sat his beer down and leaned forward to catch Javi’s eye. 

Javi deftly dropped his napkin onto the floor and bent to pick it up. “Shouldn’t take her long,” he said as he wiped his lips.

“I told her you’d help her,” Chucho said. He smiled innocently and took a huge bite of chili.

Javi cursed under his breath. “Why the hell did you do that, Dad?”

“Because I’m running out of shit for you to do around here,” Chucho said simply, “and you spend too much time sitting in your bedroom drinking and smoking and watching movies. You need to get out more.”

“I go out on Saturday nights,” Javi mumbled.

Chucho laughed. “To the Lobo to pick up women,” he scoffed. “Don’t think I don’t know what goes on down there.” He shook his finger at Javi. “Joe told me you have a few beers, a few shots of whiskey, then you go home with whatever _puta_ will have you. And I know you come straight home afterward, because I hear you trying to sneak in at three o’clock. You couldn’t get past me when you were a kid and you still can’t.” He took another swig of beer. “You’re wasting your life, son.”

“It’s my life to waste,” Javi said. He wasn’t hungry anymore and he pushed his half eaten bowl away. “Besides, I’ve done plenty already, haven’t I? Don’t I deserve some time to myself?”

“You aren’t even forty years old, _mijo_. You’ve got years and years ahead of you. You can still do some good in the world.”

Javi shook his head. He’d had enough. “I tried to do some good and look what happened,” he said. “I fucked up. End of story.” He shoved himself up from the table and stalked out of the dining room. _Why the hell can’t he just leave me alone?_

“Whatever,” Chucho called after him. “You’re still going out there tomorrow at nine to help her fix that corral.”

“Fine!” Javi shouted just before he slammed his bedroom door. The bed was a mess, just as he’d left it that morning. He flopped onto it anyway, not bothering to straighten out the covers. He fished a bottle of whiskey out from the bottom shelf of the nightstand and poured himself a few fingers. No need for an alarm clock with his dad around to roust him out of bed to work in the mornings, so the nightstand held only his whiskey glass, the reading glasses he pretended he didn’t need, an ashtray and the remote for the VCR.

Leaning back against the headboard, Javi took a long sip of whiskey, relishing the warmth as the liquor slid down his throat. It took more and more whiskey to numb the pain these days, but booze was cheap and easy to get in a town like Laredo. He opened the drawer of the nightstand and pulled out a pack of cigarettes and his lighter. It was a cheap Zippo he’d picked up at the gas station. He’d left the nice one Murphy had given him for his birthday in Colombia, along with a lot of other things. Like his pride and his faith in humanity.

He lit a smoke and took a drag. Between the whiskey and the nicotine, he started to relax just a bit. He got up, turned on the VCR and crawled back onto the bed. Another night watching crappy telenovelas, but what else was he going to do? He sighed and took another drag on his cigarette. At least he hadn’t stooped to watching porn. Yet.

*********************************  
As he pulled up next to Cassidy’s house, Javi spotted her pushing a wheelbarrow full of dirty straw out of the barn. When he’d seen her the other day, she’d had on a shapeless old sweatshirt, with her hair shoved under a baseball cap. Today, she was wearing a tight pink tank top and her light brown hair was done up in a long braid that trailed down her back. “Holy shit,” Javi muttered to himself as he watched her maneuver the wheelbarrow to the muck pile and easily tip it out. She had thin but muscled arms and her bra straps were peeking out just a bit. As she tipped the wheelbarrow, her shirt rode up, exposing a strip of pale skin just above the waistband of her jeans, a strong contrast to the golden tan on her arms and upper chest. 

After she dumped the wheelbarrow, Cassidy wiped the sweat from her forehead with one arm and raised the other hand in greeting. Javi slid out of the truck, his boots hitting the ground with a thump that raised two tiny clouds of dust. 

“Thanks for the help,” she said as she approached. Javi tried not to notice how a rivulet of sweat trickled down her chest and disappeared between her breasts. “Taking care of four horses by myself doesn’t leave me much spare time for extra projects.”

“Thank my dad,” Javi said. “I just do what he tells me to do so he doesn’t kick my ass out of the house.”

Cassidy laughed. “A grown man like you? I don’t believe it,” she said. “I think you’re just as good a neighbor as your father is.” She waved him toward the corral. “I had the wood delivered two days ago, but I haven’t had a chance to get much done. I need to finish mucking the stalls, but when I get done, I’ll give you a hand.”

Javi walked slowly over to the corral. One section was completely destroyed and needed to be rebuilt. The post on the left side was cracked and would have to be replaced, but the other one still looked sturdy. It should take him a couple of hours at the most, but it would be hot work with no shade. _Good thing I wore the stupid hat today_ , he thought as he started sorting out the boards and figured out his plan of attack.

Cassidy disappeared back into the barn with her wheelbarrow and Javi soon lost himself in the rhythm of his work, wrestling the boards into place and securing them with hammer and nails. He was careful to make sure no nails protruded from the wood when he was done, so there was no danger of a horse getting hurt. As his dad was fond of saying, if there was one sharp thing in a five hundred acre field, a horse would find it and impale itself on it. 

“Need any help?” Cassidy asked at one point, but Javi just shook his head and grunted at her, since he had a nail clenched between his lips. She disappeared again and he returned to his work. Finally, he was finished. The new boards were bright and pale compared to the rest but otherwise it looked just like the rest of the fence. 

“Nice job,” Cassidy said, as Javi stood back, lifting his hat to wipe the sweat off his brow. He turned to look at her. She had two dripping bottles of beer in her hand and offered one to him. “Come sit in the shade and cool off,” she said, nodding toward a pair of lawn chairs she’d set up against the side of the barn in a narrow strip of shade.

Javi gratefully took a beer from her and dropped into one of the chairs. “My momma would tell me to offer you sweet tea or lemonade,” Cassidy said as she sank into the other chair, removing a bottle opener from her back pocket before she sat down. “But I thought you’d appreciate a cold beer more.” She leaned over and popped the cap off his bottle, then settled back and opened her own.

Javi watched the muscles in her throat work as she swallowed, and tried not to let his eyes trail down toward her cleavage again. He tore his gaze away from her and took a long pull of his own beer. “Ah, that hits the spot,” he said. “Thanks.”

“Least I could do after you fixed the pen for me,” she said, stretching her legs out in front of her and crossing her ankles. Her boots were dusty and caked on the bottom with manure, but they were good boots, real working boots, not the fancy tooled crap that a lot of the wannabe cowgirls in town wore.

“Just being neighborly,” Javi grunted, taking another drink of beer.

Cassidy laughed. “Still,” she said. “It was nice of you. Now I can get that colt cut and have a place to turn him out while he recovers.” She tipped her head back and took another drink of beer. “I need to figure out what to call him. I got his Jockey Club papers when I bought him but he just doesn’t seem like a Murphy to me.”

Javi nearly choked on his beer. “Murphy?”

“Yeah, his registered name is Murphy’s Law, but I don’t like it,” she said lightly. Javi relaxed a bit; she clearly had no idea. “What do you think? What’s a good name for an asshole horse who’s too smart for his own good?”

“Javi’s already taken, unfortunately,” he replied wryly. “But I’ll let you know if I think of anything.”

They finished their beers in companionable silence and then Javi stood up. “Well, I’d better get back, see what else Dad has for me to do,” he said. “Good luck with the asshole.”

Cassidy walked him to his truck. “Thanks again,” she said. “Come by in a couple of days, once the asshole’s had his brain surgery, and you can help me pick out a name for him.” He wasn’t sure if she was just being nice or flirting with him, but either way, it wouldn’t hurt to stop by in a few days and see how his handiwork was holding up.

“I’ll try,” he said. “Have a good day.” He tipped his hat the way his dad had taught him to do and climbed in the cab of the truck. He caught one last glimpse of her in his rear view mirror as he drove away, standing with her hands on her hips, a pose that emphasized her boobs. He shook his head to rid himself of the image. _Don’t even think about it, Pena_ , he told himself. She was too good for him, too nice, and too … normal. The last thing she needed was a fucked up mess like him in her life.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cassidy puts Javi to work.
> 
> Chapter warnings: language

Cassidy was leaning on the rail of the pen when she heard the rumble of a truck coming up her drive. Taking one last glance at the bay gelding who was pacing nervously back and forth, she turned to see who it was. She was not surprised to see the shiny new Ford from the Pena ranch roll to a stop next to her old blue truck. Now she just had to decide if she was happy to see Javi or not.

“Hey,” she called out as he stepped down from the cab. He wasn’t wearing a hat today, and his dark hair fluttered a bit in the breeze. She couldn’t see his eyes behind the aviator sunglasses he wore, but he seemed a little nervous. 

“Hey,” he replied, shutting the truck door carefully so as not to spook the horse, who had started trotting now, his nostrils flaring. “How’s he doing?” He lifted his chin in the direction of the corral.

“Not too bad,” Cassidy said. “Had a hell of a time getting him down so the vet could geld him. I think he’s afraid of men.” To prove her point, the gelding tossed his head and pressed himself against the far side of the corral. “He’s okay around me, but the vet and his assistant got him freaked out.”

“You name him yet?” Javi said. He had stopped a few feet from her, which she was thankful for. Not only did it keep him further from the already agitated horse, it kept him away from her. She was determined to resist her physical attraction to him, now that she knew a bit more about him, but damn, he was hot.

“Buster,” she said, waiting for him to scoff. 

“Because he busted out the fence,” Javi said with a nod. “I like it.” He scuffed one boot toe through the dirt. “Um, my dad wanted to know if you need anything else. He thinks I don’t have enough to keep me busy.”

Cassidy resisted the urge to snort at that. “Oh, I’ve heard that you’re plenty busy,” she said, leaning back against the fence rail. Javi tilted his head at her and she forged ahead. “I ran into a couple of people in town who filled me in on you, Mr. Pena.”

“And what did they say?” Javi shifted his weight, placing his hands on his hips. His blue shirt gaped open at the chest, where he’d left several buttons undone. _Could his pants be any tighter_? Cassidy thought idly.

“That you left your fiancée at the altar,” she said. “That you hang out at the Lobo on Saturday nights and go home with a different woman every week. That you buy whiskey by the case and cigarettes by the carton. That any woman with a lick of sense would stay far, far away from you.”

Javi chuckled, but there was little amusement in it. “I admit it,” he said. “I’m a piece of shit.” He shrugged.

“And yet, here you are, offering to help me again,” Cassidy said. “And don’t tell me it’s just because your dad told you to.”

Javi sighed. “They forgot to tell you I used to be a federal agent,” he said bitterly. “I’m used to blindly following orders.”

“Oh, they told me that,” Cassidy said lightly. “I just didn’t think that part was very important.” She turned her back to him and laid her arms on the top rail of the fence. “You can help me with Buster, if you want. I can retrain him, no problem, but he needs to get over his fear of men if I’m going to have any chance to sell him.”

She heard Javi take a few steps closer. “What would I have to do?”

“Not much at first,” she said. “Just hang out with him. Let him realize you aren’t going to hurt him. Maybe give him carrots and horse cookies. Groom him once he’s used to you, so he associates you with good things. I’ll do the actual training.”

Javi stepped forward a bit more, resting his arms on the top rail a few feet away from her. Buster quivered and snorted at the far side of the pen. “I can do that,” Javi said quietly. 

“Good,” Cassidy said. “You two stay here and get acquainted while I get some work done with the others.” She pushed away from the fence and headed for the barn. 

*************************************  
Javi leaned on the rail, watching Buster, who watched him back. The bay horse was on full alert, ears flicking back and forth, eyes wary. Javi could see the horse’s skin twitch with anxiety.

“Yeah, I get it,” Javi said softly. “They screwed you up good, didn’t they, boy? But I’m not going to do anything to you. We’ll just hang out for a bit, two losers together, okay?”

Buster snorted but remained on the far side of the pen. Javi sighed. He spied the lawn chairs he and Cassidy had sat in the other day and brought one over to the corral fence. Might as well be comfortable while he kept the horse company. Buster watched his every move as he carried the chair and placed it where he got a sliver of shade from the scrawny palo verde tree that grew nearby.

From his seat, Javi could watch Buster, as well as see Cassidy out in the bigger arena on the other side of the barn. She was lunging a bay horse, making it walk, trot, and lope around her on the end of a long line. She stood calmly in the center of the circle, giving the horse subtle cues with a long whip and her body language. It was mesmerizing, and not just because she was wearing another tight tank top. 

He was so lost in watching Cassidy work that he forgot all about Buster until the gelding stepped into his line of sight. Javi was about to shoo the horse out of the way when he realized Buster was only a few feet away from him.

“Well, well,” Javi crooned. “Curiosity isn’t just for cats, is it?” Buster snorted and shied a few steps, but otherwise stayed where he was. Javi sat still, relaxing even though every instinct he had told him to lean forward. He didn’t want to spook the horse and lose the tiny bit of progress they’d managed to make. So he sat, and Buster stood, In companionable silence while the sun beat down and the flies buzzed around their heads.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Javi and Cassidy go for a ride.
> 
> Chapter warnings: language

“Bored yet?”

Javi opened his eyes. He’d been leaning back in his lawn chair, arms crossed, but definitely not napping. “Just communing with Buster,” he said. “He gets me, don’t you, buddy?” The gelding, who _had_ been dozing off, simply swished his tail at a particularly annoying fly and flicked an ear when he heard his name.

Cassidy laughed. “Yeah, you have so much in common,” she said. “You’re both lazy, good for nothing, free loaders.”

Javi sat up. “Hey! I’m doing this as a favor to you,” he said. “And I brought the beer last week.”

“One lousy six pack,” she scoffed.

“It was the good shit,” Javi shot back. “Not that cheap crap you buy.” In the weeks since he’d started coming over to socialize Buster, they’d fallen into a friendly banter, ending most days with a cold beer in the barn or on her back porch. 

“Well, I have a mortgage to pay,” Cassidy replied. “I’m not living rent free in my dad’s house.”

Javi shook his head and flipped her the bird. She’d hit a bit too close to the bone with that last remark. Chucho had made it clear that Javi could stay as long as he liked, but he still felt like he was imposing.

“Get off your lazy ass and come for a ride with me,” Cassidy said. “I need to get some miles on Dawson before I can start advertising him for sale, but I also need to get Cricket out before she gets too fat.”

“I’m not much of a rider,” Javi protested. It was true. He knew how to ride, of course. His dad had insisted on it, but it had been years since he’d ridden more than just to get from point A to point B on the ranch, and then only if he couldn’t easily drive one of the trucks.

“I’ll put you on Cricket,” Cassidy said. “She’s my babysitter horse. I’ve put little kids on her. I think you’ll be okay.”

“Oh, I know how to ride well enough,” Javi said. “I meant I’m not used to riding for a long time.”

“Afraid you’ll hurt your ass?” 

“Afraid I won’t be able to walk tomorrow,” Javi admitted. “I’m not as young as I used to be.”

“You’re not that old,” Cassidy said. “But you are out of shape.” She reached down and poked his stomach. “Less beer and whiskey, more exercise. And stop smoking those cancer sticks.”

Javi batted her hand away. “Don’t touch me,” he grumbled. 

“Just get up and help me saddle the horses,” she said. Javi took a moment to admire the view as she walked away before he levered himself up out of the chair. He followed her into the barn and into the tack room at the end. 

He whistled in admiration. “Nice collection,” he said. There were close to a dozen saddles placed neatly on racks on the far wall. The wall opposite had pegs which held bridles and halters and other bits of tack.

“Yeah, I like to have options,” Cassidy said. She ran her hand over the seat of a glossy black English style saddle. “Western, jumping, dressage … I used to have a sidesaddle, too, but I got a great offer to sell it to a historical reenactor.” She pulled a plain trail saddle off one of the racks and nodded to another one a few spaces over. “Grab that and follow me.”

They worked silently, except for a few quiet instructions from Cassidy, brushing the horses off and tacking them up. Dawson was a nondescript bay gelding with no white markings at all. He fidgeted as Cassidy worked with him. Cricket, on the other hand, was a pretty little buckskin mare with a white stripe down her face and impeccable ground manners.

“I’m serious about you riding Cricket,” Cassidy said as she checked the girths on both saddles. “She’s got that nice, easy jog. Dawson’s a real bone shaker. Your backside will thank me.”

“Glad to know you think about my backside so much,” Javi said. “I’m flattered.”

“Get your mind out of the gutter,” she replied, as she swung gracefully into the saddle on Dawson’s back. 

Javi chuckled and hoisted himself onto Cricket’s back. Cassidy led the way past the riding arena and to the beginnings of a trail that led out into the brush. She sat easily in the saddle, swaying with the horse’s movements. Javi tried to relax and imitate her, but it was hard to strike the right balance between following the horse and staying in control.

************************************  
Cassidy turned in the saddle to check on Javi. “Jesus Christ, man, relax,” she laughed. “Give her a loose rein and sit back on the cantle. She won’t bolt on you. Trust her. Cricket’s a good girl.”

She was sure Javi had narrowed his eyes behind his ubiquitous aviator sunglasses. She kept hoping he’d lose them somewhere; they reminded her of that cheesy show about the California highway patrol officers from the 70’s.

“Last time I trusted a horse, he took me through a barbed wire fence and dumped me in a patch of cactus,” Javi grumbled. “I like to be in control of my horse.” He lifted his chin at her in accusation. It was true that she was sitting halfway round in her saddle, one foot out of the stirrup, with the reins looped loosely around the saddle horn.

“I’m still in control,” she retorted. “I just don’t have to rule with an iron hand.” She shifted her weight, cueing Dawson to stop, and he did. Javi pulled back on Cricket’s reins to keep her from walking into Dawson’s butt. “See!” Cassidy cried. “Right there. You hauled on her mouth. All she needs is for you to sit back in the saddle, drop your weight, open your legs a little.” She held up her hand to forestall the snide comment she knew he was dying to make. “Yeah, I heard it. But it’s true. You don’t need to be yanking on the reins. I don’t cowboy my horses, and I don’t charro my horses. Got it?” Dawson shifted nervously beneath her. She hadn’t meant to raise her voice, but damn, men were such asses sometimes when it came to horses.

Javi nodded. “Okay, okay, I’ll try to be gentler,” he said. “But in my defense, my dad’s horses aren’t as well trained as this little lady.” He leaned forward to smooth down a section of Cricket’s mane that had flipped the wrong way, and Cassidy saw that he could be gentle if he wanted to be. She also wondered what it would feel like to have that hand smooth her own hair away from her neck and … she shook her head. _Focus, Cass, focus!_

“All right, as long as we’re on the same page,” she said. “Come on, let’s ride.” She nudged Dawson into a walk and then a trot. She hadn’t been kidding when she’d told Javi he was a bone shaker. It was nearly impossible to sit his trot, so she posted as best she could. She did take a glance back and saw that Javi was bouncing around in the saddle a bit, even with Cricket’s smooth Quarter Horse jog. 

She slowed to a walk when they reached a wide, open section of grassland where the well defined trail they’d been following broke into a braid of tracks. “Bring her up alongside,” she said. “I want Dawson to get used to being next to other horses, not always single file.”

Javi let Cricket stride out until they had caught up. Dawson immediately pinned his ears. “Hey, hey, none of that,” Cassidy chided him, taking a firmer grip on the reins. Cricket snorted and shook her head as if to say, _Amateur_. 

They rode in silence for a while, no sound but the creaking of saddle leather, the jingling of bits, the thud of hooves, and the occasional snort as the horses blew dust from their noses. “This is the life,” Cassidy said eventually. She dropped the reins and leaned back to rest her hands on Dawson’s rump. “I could do this forever.”

Javi looked over at her, and she felt his eyes travel the length of her body. “I could watch it forever,” he said.

“You’re disgusting,” she said, sitting back up properly. “But you don’t look so bad yourself, when you’re not trying to be all macho and in control.” She ran her own eyes over him, his long legs hanging loosely along Cricket’s sides, his hips moving gently with her strides, his huge hands lightly holding the leather reins. Yeah, he looked damned good.

Javi shrugged. “Okay, so we agree we both look hot in the saddle,” he said. “Can we head back now before I get a callus on my ass the size of Dallas?”

Cassidy laughed. “Oh, we’re just getting started, Mr. Pena,” she said. “Giddy up!” She tapped her heels against Dawson’s sides, urging him into a canter. Cricket didn’t need any encouragement to join in; she loved to run.

“Hey!” Javi yelped as Cricket lowered her head and lit out after Cassidy. “I wasn’t ready!”

“You snooze, you lose!” Cassidy cried. “Yee haw!” She leaned forward and urged Dawson into a full on gallop. She heard Javi cursing behind her and knew that Cricket had kicked into overdrive. She was a sweet mare but had a competitive streak that would put a racehorse to shame. No one outran her. In just a few strides, she’d caught Dawson and was pulling ahead. She flicked an ear at Javi but kept going. Cassidy laughed. “That’s my girl. Show him who’s boss!”

As soon as she’d put a length or two between them, Cricket slowed her stride. Cassidy reined Dawson back into a canter, then to a trot, and finally a walk. He was blowing hard, but Cricket looked ready to go again.

“Damn, that was insane,” Javi said once the two horse were walking side by side again.

“Never underestimate a woman,” Cassidy said. “Human or equine.”

Javi smiled, something she rarely got to see. “Point taken,” he said. “Now, seriously, can we go home now? My ass is killing me.”


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Javi and Cassidy try to deal with their growing feelings for each other.
> 
> Chapter warnings: language, mention of masturbation

It took two days for Javi to work out the soreness from the trail ride, but it was worth every bit of pain. His dad had made several off color jokes the next morning when he saw how stiff and sore he was, but Javi just brushed them off. At least Chucho wasn’t nagging him to get out of the house any more. And, yes, Cassidy had laughed when he hobbled out of his truck the next afternoon, but she’d been sympathetic and given him a sachet of Epsom salts that she swore would take care of most of the muscle aches. And, okay, when he’d lowered himself into a hot bathtub that night he might have been thinking more of what it would be like to share that tub with her, and maybe he had closed his eyes and pretended it was _her_ hand on his dick, but the soak had done its job. By the third day after the ride, he was back to normal and actually felt stronger and more alive than he had in months.

“Ready to start some ground work with Buster?” Cassidy asked when he walked into the barn. 

Javi was taken aback. So far, he’d just been hanging out with the gelding, brushing him and picking out his hooves, but otherwise not doing much with him. In just a few weeks, Buster had gone from snorting and trying to climb over the fence every time he saw Javi to whickering at him as soon as he heard the truck door open.

“You sure?,” he asked.

“Yeah,” Cassidy said, handing him a halter and long lead rope. “He’s not afraid of you anymore and he’s put on some weight. Time for him to get back to work.” She motioned for Javi to follow her and headed out toward Buster’s pen. She put him in the barn each night with the other horses, but turned him out first thing in the morning. She’d explained that as an ex-racehorse, he’d spent too much time locked up in a stall and she wanted him to just be a horse as much as possible.

“When you groom him today, pull him out and put him in the cross-ties,” she said. “He might not be used to them, but we’ll find out. And if he gets silly, he can’t do much. Then take him for a walk over to the arena and I’ll show you how to lunge him a little.”

“Um, okay,” Javi said. Buster walked over to the fence and swung his head over the top rail so Javi could rub his forehead. “Hey, buddy, you gonna be a good boy for me?” He gently smoothed the gelding’s forelock out his eyes.

Cassidy chuckled. “Are you like this with those women you pick up at the bar?”

“Oh, yeah,” Javi teased. “That’s why they like me. I rub their foreheads.”

“I meant the sweet talk,” she said. “You come off all gruff and macho at first, but you’re really a big teddy bear, aren’t you?” She crossed her arms over her chest and leaned back against the wall of the barn.

Javi gave her the finger. “If you’re trying to flirt, it ain’t working,” he said. He stepped away from Buster, coming to a stop just a few feet from her. He saw her squirm a little and it was all he could do to keep from smiling. “Look, are we going to do anything about this?,” he said, waving his hand vaguely in the space between them.

“About what?,” she said.

Javi chuckled. “Come on. I see the way you look at me, and I know you see the way I look at you,” he said. “We’re attracted to each other. So how long are we going to play this game?”

Cassidy pushed herself away from the wall and closed the gap, so she stood a mere six inches from him. “I’ll admit there’s something between us,” she said. “But I don’t fall in bed with someone just because I think he’s hot. I have to trust a man before I take that step out of friendship into something more. And you haven’t earned that trust yet, Mr. Pena. So forget about trying to seduce me and concentrate on the horse, okay?” She leaned forward, patted the side of his face, and crinkled her nose. “I’ve got stalls to muck. See, I’d rather shovel shit than flirt with you.” She winked and went back into the barn.

“She’s crazy,” Javi said to Buster, who had watched the entire conversation with interest. The gelding snorted. “Yeah, I know, get back to work. No wonder she likes you.”

*****************************************  
Cassidy hid in the barn until she was sure Javi had taken Buster around to the cross ties next to the wash rack on the far side of the barn. She did have stalls to muck, but right now she was more interested in hiding her emotions from him. Why did he have to be so damned hot? It had been all she could do to not throw herself into his arms when he’d walked up to her. 

_You promised yourself you wouldn’t do this again_ , she chided herself. _Men aren’t worth it. Remember that._

She sighed. Who was she kidding? How many nights had she fallen asleep with a hand between her thighs, thoughts of Javi Pena swirling through her head? _Get a grip, Cassidy._

She grabbed a pitchfork and tossed it into the muck cart. Time to get back to reality. Horse shit and the stack of bills on her kitchen table. That was all she should be thinking about. Not Javi’s fingers gently moving her hair aside, or the feel of his mustache brushing against her skin.

************************************************  
The tall woman at the end of the bar was checking Javi out. Normally, he’d have left his seat at the table in the corner and slid up to her, but he was too busy keeping an eye on Cassidy, who was sitting half way down the bar. The Lobo was a bit rough around the edges and he wondered what had possessed her to come there, especially on a Saturday night.

It had been almost a month since their little conversation, and Javi had been careful to keep everything strictly friendly between them. They still joked around, and shared a beer most afternoons, but mostly they talked about the horses. Buster was coming along nicely. Javi was now able to work him in the arena on the lunge line and they were getting ready to introduce him to the western saddle. It would be a while before Javi got on his back, but Cassidy would probably be riding him in a week or two. 

Right now, though, Javi was nursing a beer and watching guys strike out right and left. Cassidy was cordial but firm and Javi hid his smile as the latest jerk plied her with cheesy lines. Then Chuck Myers showed up.

Chuck was one of those good old boys whose daddy had given him a job right out of high school and had never had to work for a thing in his damn life. Last Javi had heard before he went to Colombia was that Chuck was on his second wife. Either she’d dumped him, or would soon, seeing as how he was hitting on women in the bar.

Cassidy shook her head at Chuck and turned back to her beer, but Chuck laid a hand on her shoulder. Javi tensed a little. He knew Cassidy could hold her own and he didn’t want to intervene and make her mad, but he was ready in case things turned ugly. 

“I said I wasn’t interested,” Cassidy said, raising her voice in irritation. “Piss off.”

Chuck was clearly drunk, his words slurring a little as he tried to slide his arm around her shoulders. “You’re just playing hard to get, little lady. Makes it more fun when you finally give in, right?”

She shoved his arm away and Chuck’s face went dark. Javi got up from his seat. He’d seen that look before and it did not bode well. Chuck had ended up spending a night or two in jail after a bar fight in the past and it looked like he still had a nasty temper.

“She said she’s not interested,” Javi said quietly, stepping up behind Chuck. The other man whirled around, a bit unsteady on his feet.

“Fuck off, Pena,” he said. “This is between me and the lady. None of your business.”

Javi inserted himself between Chuck and Cassidy. “It _is_ my business when some asshole is harassing my friend,” he said evenly. “She told you to piss off. So piss off.”

Chuck laughed. “Oh, man, you think she’s your friend? You’re just free labor, Pena. I know all about her little horse rescue project. She can barely afford feed for those nags. And it’s not like you’ve got a job or anything. Remind me, did they kick you out of the DEA or did you quit?”

Javi took a deep breath. Chuck wasn’t worth the hassle. “I quit,” he said quietly. “Because I was tired of dealing with lowlifes and entitled rich boys like you. Now are you going to leave Cassidy alone or are we going to have to take this outside?” He let his hand slide around toward the back of his jeans. “And may I remind you I still have a license for concealed carry.” He didn’t wear his sidearm very often, but the Lobo wasn’t exactly upscale.

Chuck raised his hands. “Okay, okay, jeez,” he said. “Didn’t know I was poaching on your turf.” He shook his head, downed the shot of whiskey in his hand and staggered away toward the tall girl at the end of the bar, who was still staring at Javi.

“Thanks,” Cassidy said wryly. “I had it under control, but whatever.”

Javi rolled his eyes. “Come join me at my table,” he said. “That’ll keep the vultures away.” He thought she might refuse, but after looking him steadily in the eye for a long moment, she pushed herself off the barstool and followed him back to the table.

“You really enjoy this place?,” she asked once they were seated.

Javi ignored the question and posed one of his own. “What are you doing here, anyway?” He took a sip of his beer. “I thought you didn’t like going out because of all the, and I quote, ‘horndogs’.”

“Just curious,” she said with a shrug. She took a long drink of her own beer. “And I was feeling lonely.” She sighed. “Okay, I talked to my mom today and I just needed to get out of the house. And this is the only bar I knew of. I’m new in town, remember?”

Javi smiled. “First of all, if you’re lonely, you’re always welcome at my dad’s place. He loves company. Second of all, the lounge at the Copper Lamp is probably more your scene. Way better level of clientele and the booze is better. Costs more, though.” 

“Noted,” Cassidy said. She leaned forward. “Next time I want to waste some money, I’ll go there.” She sat back, her fingertip idly tracing the rim of her beer mug. “I’m not using you for free labor, you know. Money’s tight, but …”

Javi raised his hand to stop her. “I know my dad asked you to help get me out of my funk,” he said. When she started to protest, he shook his head. “He thinks he’s pretty smart but I do have some detective skills, so …” He shrugged.

“About that,” Cassidy said casually. “That jerk at the bar said you were with the DEA?”

“Yeah,” Javi said shortly. Fortunately, just then someone put some money in the jukebox and Elvis Presley filled the air. “You wanna dance? Let’s dance.” Javi jumped up and held out his hand to Cassidy. 

She hesitated a moment, then said, “What the hell.” Javi led her out to the “dance floor,” a section of the bar that was kept clear of tables on all but the busiest nights. Two other couples were already out there, one actually dancing, the other simply swaying back and forth while they nuzzled each other’s necks. Javi placed one hand on Cassidy’s waist and took her hand with the other. She laid her free hand on his shoulder and they began to move to the music. 

“You’re a terrible dancer,” she said after a moment.

Javi chuckled. “Never claimed to be a good one,” he said. He let his fingers splay a bit wider on her hip. She lifted one eyebrow but didn’t move away. 

When the music ended after two songs, Javi led her back to the table, hoping she’d forgotten about her question. “Want another?,” he asked, nodding toward her almost empty beer mug.

“No, I’m okay,” she said. 

“You sure? I’m getting one for myself,” he said, waving the waitress over.

Cassidy put her elbow on the table and propped her head up on her hand. “I learned a long time ago not to let guys buy me drinks,” she said. “They tend to expect something in return.”

Javi shook his head. “First of all, friends buy friends drinks all the time. Second of all, I’ve drunk enough of your beers that I definitely owe you more than one draft beer.” When the waitress stepped up to the table he said, “Two more of these, thanks, Cindy.”

“You got it, Javi,” she said with a smile and a wink.

“Wow, first name basis with the wait staff,” Cassidy said. “That means you’re either a good tipper or you’re here way too much.”

“You forget I grew up in Laredo,” he said. “Anyone who’s within a few years of my own age probably went to high school with me.”

They sipped at their new beers and chatted idly about the pros and cons of staying in one’s hometown past high school, Buster’s progress, and the best place to get tacos. When Cassidy had drained her mug, she placed both hands on the table top. 

“Well, I’ve got to get up early to feed, so I’m going to head out,” she said. “Thanks again for helping get rid of that jerk earlier.”

“No problem,” Javi said. “I’ll walk you out, just in case he’s lurking around out there.” At some point, Chuck had disappeared, but Javi had been too busy paying attention to Cassidy to know exactly when he’d left.

He dug out his wallet, tossed a handful of bills on the bar as they passed by and followed Cassidy to her truck. She paused with her hand on the door handle. “Seriously, thanks again,” she said.

“Anytime,” Javi said. The dim lights in the parking lot were barely bright enough to find the keyhole in a car door, but he more than enough to see Cassidy’s eyes soften as she looked back at him. Javi threw caution to the wind and leaned forward to kiss her, gently. Her lips were as soft and warm as he’d imagined.

“Javi,” she said quietly as he pulled back. “You’re getting there, but you’re not there yet.” She reached up and stroked his cheek, letting her thumb trace his mustache. “Don’t rush things.”

“Sorry,” he said.

“It’s fine,” she said. “Just … nothing more right now, okay?” She dropped her hand and turned back to pull open the door of her truck. “Why don’t you go back in and introduce yourself to that tall woman at the end of the bar? She’s been watching you all night. I’m pretty sure you’ll get lucky.”

“Nah,” he said. “I think I’m going to head home myself. Surprise the hell out of my dad.”

“Well, drive safe,” Cassidy said.

“You, too,” he replied. She climbed into the cab of her truck and he waited until she’d started the engine before he went to his own truck. Once she’d pulled out of the parking lot, he turned his own key and sat for a moment listening to the rumble of the engine. The door of the bar opened and the woman from the bar stood silhouetted in the light. Javi sighed and put the truck in reverse. “Sorry, _chica_ ,” he muttered. “You’re too late.”


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Javi asks Cassidy out on a date.
> 
> Chapter warnings: language

After she fed the horses the next morning, Cassidy got ready to go to town. Sunday mornings were usually not busy at the grocery store, since most people were in church, and she could get in and out fast. She didn’t work the horses on Sundays, using the rest of the day to catch up on all the household chores and other work she never had time for during the week.

As she climbed into the truck, she let her hand linger a moment on the door handle, remembering Javi’s kiss. She’d gone to the Lobo on a whim, desperate to get out of the house after another excruciating phone conversation with her mother, and unable to think of anywhere else to go on a Saturday night. She knew Javi went there almost every week, but she’d thought seeing him in action, picking up some bimbo, might cure her of her budding fascination with him. Instead, he’d been chivalrous, charming, and an endearingly bad dancer. It had taken all her self control to keep from wrapping her arms around his neck and making out with him right there in the parking lot.

Fortunately, Javi never came over on Sundays, because he and his father were almost always invited to some relative’s house for a get together. She would have the entire day to come to terms with what had happened and figure out how she was going to deal with it.

After she had put her groceries away and checked to make sure the horses hadn’t done anything stupid, Cassidy sat down at the desk in her living room and booted up the computer. It was getting a bit old and tended to crash now and then, but it still worked and that was all that counted. 

She worked her way through the bills, inputting the amounts into the spreadsheet she kept. As she added the amount on that day’s grocery receipt, she sighed. Expenses were going up and her income was going down. She closed the spreadsheet and opened up her word processor. She was behind on two deadlines, and if she didn’t get those articles done, she might lose her in with those editors. 

It had seemed so simple when she’d gotten the legacy from Great Uncle Bill. Throw a good chunk of money down on a property, get a low mortgage and between her magazine writing and proceeds from selling the horses she was flipping, she’d be able to get by. But hay prices kept going up and the magazines were cutting back on freelance writers. There weren’t that many markets for horse related articles and she was starting to run out of original ideas. And horses were plentiful around Laredo, so she knew she would be lucky to recoup her investment when she did sell a horse.

She tried to buckle down and focus on the article about the pros and cons of bitless bridles, but her mind kept straying back to the night before. She could probably have gotten rid of Chuck Whatshisname on her own, but it had been nice to have Javi step in after she’d already spent more than an hour brushing off less obnoxious guys. And she’d enjoyed dancing with Javi, even though he had clearly asked her just to keep her from asking about his past with the DEA. He wasn’t the best dancer in the world, but neither was she, and she could still feel the ghost of his hand against her waist.

_Bitless bridles_ , she told herself, _not Javi Pena’s huge, warm hands_. But it was hard not to remember the way he’d held her lightly but firmly as they swayed on the dance floor. Or the way his lips had pressed against hers, tasting of cigarettes and beer and something else that she could only identify as Javi. Or the feel of his mustache under her fingertips as she said goodnight. 

“This is ridiculous,” she said out loud. She clicked Save on the document she’d barely added two paragraphs to and pushed herself away from the desk. Time to remind herself why she was doing this. She went outside for some equine therapy.

*********************************  
As she was chopping vegetables for a dinner salad, Cassidy heard the low rumble of an engine turning up her drive and the crunch of gravel under tires. She was even more surprised when she peeked out the window and saw Javi’s truck pull up. He never came by in the evenings, especially on Sundays.

“Sorry to bother you,” he said as she stepped out on the back porch. “Probably should have just called but …” He looked down at the ground and ran the toe of his boot through the dust. 

“No problem,” she’s said. “I was just making a salad for dinner, nothing that can’t wait. So what’s up?” She leaned casually against the porch post, but inside she was ready to jump out of her skin.

“I … well, I told my dad about last night,” Javi began nervously. She raised her eyebrows and Javi shrugged. “He wanted to know why I was home so early.” She nodded and he went on. “So, he basically told me two things. One, if I fuck up and hurt you, he’ll personally kick my ass from here to Canada. And two, if I want to do this, I’d better do it right and ask you out on an actual date.”

Cassidy swallowed. “And do you? I mean, want to do this?”

Javi looked up, his dark brown eyes soft and vulnerable. “Yeah,” he said quietly. “I do.” He shook his head. “I’ll probably screw it up and you’ll end up dumping me faster than you dump the muck cart, but … yeah.” He looked away and cleared his throat. “So, there’s a dance at the VFW Hall next Saturday night. They do it every year, big fundraiser for the county hospital, for outreach programs for veterans. Anyway, I don’t know if that’s your kind of thing, but I thought maybe you’d want to go with me?”

Cassidy was stunned. Not by the question, but by Javi’s flustered demeanor. He was acting like a junior high school boy asking his crush out. It was adorable.

“I’d love to go to the dance with you,” she said. “I need to get to know more people, and a community dance is the perfect place to do that.” Javi smiled tightly, but she saw a bit of the light go out of his eyes. “And … I really had a good time last night,” she went on. Now it was her turn to trace a line on the ground with the toe of her boot. “I’m not ready to jump in with two feet, but I’d love to get the chance to get to know you better. If we take it slow.”

Javi took a step forward. “As slow as you want,” he said. “I know I have a reputation for jumping into bed with women, but I can go slow.” He swallowed awkwardly. “I think you’re worth any amount of delayed gratification.”

“I think that was a compliment,” she said with a laugh. “At any rate, I’m taking it as one. So, did you drive all the way over her just to ask me out, or do you want to play with Buster for a while?”

Javi shook his head. “I need to get back,” he said. “Dad wants a full report.” He barked out a laugh. “Oh, jeez, I feel like I’m back in high school.”

“Feels kind of nice, doesn’t it?” Cassidy asked. “I mean, I’m glad I’ve outgrown the acne and the fluctuating hormones that made everything feel like a crisis, but this part was kind of nice.”

“What part?” Javi asked, tilting his head.

“Getting asked to a dance by a cute guy,” she replied with a wink. “Now, go tell your dad everything and I’ll start stressing about what I’m going to wear.” She walked down the porch steps, reached up and gave him a peck on the cheek. “See you in the morning. Buster’s ready to start under saddle.”

She heard Javi chuckle under his breath as she walked away. When she heard the truck door close, she turned around and waved at him from the back door as he put the truck in reverse and slowly backed away. 

*****************************  
The VFW dance had been his dad’s idea, and Javi was still wondering if it was a mistake, even as he got dressed. “But what if she just said yes to be polite?,” he asked Chucho as he fiddled with his tie in front of the mirror. “What if she hates dances?”

Chucho just shook his head. “That girl doesn’t lie, _mijo_ ,” he said. “If she hated dances she would have told you.”

“I hate dances,” Javi muttered.

“But it’s a perfect place for a first date,” Chucho said. “Not too much pressure, since there are other people to talk to if the conversation stalls.”

“And plenty of people to see us together and spread _chisme_ at church tomorrow morning,” Javi replied. “I heard Tia Linda asking you if I was still moping around the house and offering to introduce me to her neighbor’s cousin’s daughter.”

Chucho laughed. “Trust me, you want to be saved from that,” he said. “Not sure what the girl looks like but I’ve heard she can talk the hind leg off a donkey and has no sense of humor. One of Luis’ cousins went out with her and said his ears were bleeding by the end of the night.”

“You gonna ride with us?” Javi asked, finally satisfied with the knot in his tie. He knew he’d probably end up loosening it by the end of the night; he hated wearing one but Chucho said there was no way he was going on a date without wearing a necktie.

“No, I’ll drive myself,” Chucho said smugly. “Don’t want to be a third wheel, and I might want to leave earlier than you. Or you two might want to leave early. Be kind of awkward if you have to drop me off first before you …”

Javi held up his hand. “We’re taking things slow,” he said. “I’ll be home tonight. Don’t worry.”

Chucho patted Javi’s cheek. “I’m proud of you, son,” he said. “Cassidy is special. Not like those girls you’ve been picking up at the bar. Or those informants in Colombia you told me about. She deserves a gentleman.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Javi said. “I’ll be a fucking Boy Scout tonight.” He shrugged into his sport jacket and patted the pocket to make sure his keys were still in there. “Okay, I’m off. I’ll see you at the dance.”

“Open the door for her,” Chucho called out as Javi headed for the door. “And help her into the truck. Especially if she’s wearing fancy shoes.”

Javi shook his head. _I remember all your lessons, Dad. If you really like a woman, treat her like a lady._

He pulled up in her driveway and turned off the engine. As he was getting out of the cab to go knock, Cassidy opened the door and stepped out onto the front porch. Javi froze for a moment. Her porch light was dim but bright enough to show that she was wearing a pale purple flowered dress and a pair of strappy high heeled sandals, with her hair pulled back and clipped with a fancy barrette.

“Wow,” he said without thinking.

Cassidy laughed, coming down the porch steps toward him. “Yeah, I clean up okay,” she said. “So do you.” She gave him an appraising look and Javi actually felt himself start to blush as her gaze traveled down his body. He cleared his throat and held out his hand. 

“Let me help you into the truck,” he said, silently cursing himself for feeling like an adolescent.

She gave him a look and shook her head. “Thanks, but I’ve been getting in and out of trucks for years. Even with heels.” She did brush his hand with her fingertips as she walked past him and Javi felt a jolt run through his body and a tightening in his groin. _Control yourself, Pena_ , he chided himself as he opened the door on his side of the cab. _You might be feeling like a teenager but you don’t have to act like one._

*******************************************  
Cassidy felt ridiculous. She rarely wore dresses, and in fact she only owned two, a simple black dress in case she needed to attend a funeral or go to the bank to ask for a loan, and a lavender shirt dress with white flowers scattered over it and buttons shaped like little daisies. It fit her nicely, and showed off her waist and her cleavage, but it had been a gift from her mother and always made her feel like she should be headed for an Easter egg hunt. The strappy white heels she wore were surprisingly comfortable, but she’d done a half-assed job on painting her toenails that afternoon because she’d simply run out of time. She hoped Javi wasn’t a foot guy.

She could already feel the barrette slipping in her hair as she climbed into the passenger seat of Javi’s truck. She hated the damn things, but a ponytail or simple braid didn’t seem enough for a dance, and although she could do a variety of fancy braids in a horse’s mane or tail, due to her teenage years earning extra money helping the girls at the hunter stable down the road prep for shows, she was hopeless at doing anything other than a plain braid on her own head, and even those ended up a bit sloppy. 

“So, did you go to these dances a lot before you moved out of town?” she asked, desperate for something to say to break the awkward silence in the cab.

“Sometimes,” Javi said, as he carefully pulled out onto the road. “Not really a big thing for the high school kids, but I went a few times when I was home from college for the summer. Not much else to do around here, to be honest.”

She fidgeted in her seat. Why was this so hard? They were able to talk about anything while they were sitting on her back porch with a couple of beers.

Javi ran one finger around the neck of his shirt. “I hate ties,” he said, out of the blue. “My dad insisted I wear one.”

“Take it off,” Cassidy said. “I certainly don’t care if you wear one or not. Not like it’s a prom or anything.”

“Maybe I will,” Javi said. He glanced toward her. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen your hair like that before. I like it.”

“Thanks. But the barrette’s sliding out already. I’ll have to fix it before we go in,” she said.

“I think it might look even better all the way down,” Javi said hesitantly. 

“Maybe,” Cassidy said, turning away so he couldn’t see the flush that was creeping across her face. “But then it’ll get in my face and I hate hair touching my face. That’s why I usually wear a braid or a ponytail.”

“How about I keep brushing it out of your face for you?”

“You’d like that, wouldn’t you?” she teased. _So would I_ , she admitted to herself.

Javi shrugged. “Or put it in a ponytail. There’s probably a rubber band in the glove box somewhere. Everything in the free world ends up in there eventually. Don’t know why.”

She laughed. “Mine, too,” she said. “I’ll stick with the barrette for now, but good to know you won’t be offended if I opt for comfort over fashion.” She opened the glove box, glad for something to do, and dug around until she found a blue rubber band that seemed sturdy enough to hold her hair without snapping. She also found a screwdriver, a tube of horse wormer, and half a box of condoms. She held the latter up with a smirk. “Extra large?”

Javi reached out with one hand and grabbed the box, shoving it back into the glove compartment. “Never mind those,” he said, his voice tight. “Did you find a rubber band?”

“Yeah,” she said, tucking it into her tiny handbag. She sat quietly, staring at Javi’s hands on the steering wheel, wondering if the rumors about a man’s hand size predicting the size of other things were true.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Javi and Cassidy go to the VFW dance
> 
> Chapter warnings: language, mention of sexual arousal

The VFW Hall was one of those buildings that seemed to exist in every small town over a certain age. Built sometime in the 40’s or thereabouts, it was nondescript on the outside and slightly dingy on the inside. Scuffed linoleum, beige paint on the walls, buzzing fluorescent light fixtures and rust stains underneath the water fountains; Cassidy recognized these details from the Elks Hall back home. 

“Good evening!” chirped the plump woman with big blonde hair and a shockingly pink dress who was seated behind the card table set up just inside the door. “Welcome to the annual VFW Dance! Nice to see you again, Javier. How’s your daddy doing? And who’s your friend?” Her carefully drawn eyebrows arched as she nodded at Cassidy.

“Nice to see you, too, Maxine,” Javi said. “Dad’s fine. He’ll be along in a bit. And this is our new neighbor, Cassidy Yates.” He dug out his wallet and pulled out a few bills.

Maxine smiled brightly and tucked the money into the cash box in front of her. “Welcome to Laredo, Cassidy,” she said. “I hope you’ll like it here. Now, Javier, here’s your drink tickets.” She pulled two red raffle tickets off of a roll. “You hang onto those. Each one gets you a beer or a glass of wine.” She turned to Cassidy. “One drink included with entrance, but after that you’ve got to pay.” She winked. “That’s the real money maker!”

“Thanks, Maxine,” Javi said, scooping up the tickets and tucking them into his jacket pocket. 

“You two have fun now. And Javier, you tell your daddy to save a dance for me. I’m only on duty until nine thirty.”

Cassidy nudged her elbow into Javi’s ribs as they walked through the entrance hall toward the doors to the hall proper. “So, Maxine and your dad?” she whispered.

Javi shook his head. “She says that about all the unattached men over a certain age,” he muttered. “Thinks it’s cute. She’s the elementary school secretary, so she knows just about everyone in town. She was still a real blonde when I was in school.”

“That’s rude,” Cassidy scolded. 

“I just meant, she was a young woman back then,” Javi said. “She’s been there a long time.”

“Well, you could have phrased it better,” Cassidy said. She pulled the doors open and they entered the dance hall.

************************************************  
 _Shit_ , Javi thought, _this isn’t going well_. After the awkwardness in the truck about the box of condoms, he’d gone and put his foot in it talking about Maxine. Everyone in town joked about her, because they all knew her and loved her, but he should have realized that an outsider like Cassidy might find it a bit mean-spirited. 

“You want a drink? I want a drink,” he said, steering Cassidy toward the bar.

“Sure, why not,” she replied. She looked sideways at him. “Are you nervous, Javi?”

He thought about denying it for about two seconds, then opted for the truth. “Hell, yeah,” he said. “Aren’t you?”

“Yeah,” she admitted. “Not sure why. I mean it’s not like I have to impress you or anything. We’re already friends.”

He pondered that for a moment. “Maybe that’s why,” he offered. “I know you said you’re not ready to make the leap from friends to -- something else -- but we’re heading down that path. And I sure as hell don’t want to mess things up. I like being friends with you.”

She smiled. “I like being friends with you, too,” she said shyly. “But I might like being -- something else -- too. I’m just …” She trailed off, and sighed. “You probably think I’m nuts but I’ll explain things one of these days. When I’m ready.”

“When you trust me?” Javi asked. As soon as the words left his lips, he cursed himself. _Way to take it slow, dumbass_.

Cassidy just nodded. “Yeah, when I really, really trust you,” she said. “Now let’s get that drink so we can loosen up and stop acting like idiots.” She grabbed his hand and pulled him the rest of the way to the bar. Her hands were small compared to his, but strong and calloused from working with leather and wood and thousand pound animals all day long. He liked the feel of her hand in his.

They got a couple of beers and found a table to sit at while they drank them. Cassidy seemed to be enjoying herself, watching everyone as they walked or danced past. She looked over at him with a smile. “So, how many women in this room have you slept with?”

Javi nearly choked on his beer. “What?” he gasped once he could speak.

She smirked. “Or would it be easier to tell me the ones you _haven’t_ fucked?” She tilted her beer bottle and took a long drink, knowing full well how amazing she looked with her lips wrapped around the neck of the bottle.

He leaned forward. “First of all, none of your business,” he said quietly. “And second of all, not important. There’s only one woman in this room I’m interested in and you know it.” He licked the mouth of his own bottle and took a sip. _Two can play at this game._

“Good answer,” she said. “Oh, hey, there’s your dad. Chucho!” She stood up and waved her hand, causing half the room to stare at her. When his dad reached their table, Cassidy stood up and hugged him. “Met your girlfriend Maxine on the way in,” she teased.

Chucho shook his head as he stepped back. “She’s just trying to use me to get to Javi,” he said.

“She’ll have to get in line,” Cassidy said with a laugh. “I’ve got dibs.”

“Why you just sitting there?” Chucho asked. “This is a dance. Let’s dance!” He held out his hand and swept her away. “You snooze, you lose, _mijo_ ,” he said as they walked away.

Javi slouched down in his chair. He’d need at least another beer before he felt comfortable out on the dance floor. The band was still playing line dances and he needed some false courage to make an ass of himself. Once the night matured and the band switched to slower partner dances, he’d get Cassidy out there.

“Hello, Javier.” He looked up and sighed.

“Hi, Trish,” he said to the curvaceous brunette who stood in front of him, hands on her hips. She was wearing a low cut black blouse with a black and white miniskirt and black stilettos, an outfit more suited to a big city club than the annual Laredo VFW dance.

“It’s Trina,” she snapped, her dark eyes flashing. “No wonder you never called. You can’t even keep us straight.”

“Look, I’m sorry if you expected anything more than what I promised, but I told you how I do things,” he said.

“And yet you show up here tonight with a fucking _date_ ,” Trina spat. “Some Miss Goody Two Shoes in a pastel dress. Does she know what you like to do, Javi? Does she know you pick up women in bars, take them home and fuck them on their couches, then walk away before they’ve even had a chance to clean themselves up? Does she know what you do with that filthy mouth of yours?”

“I have a pretty good idea,” Cassidy said. Javi looked up in horror. He’d thought she was still on the dance floor with Chucho. “Now why don’t you go off and find someone to ogle your tits and leave me and my date alone, hmm?”

Trina laughed in her face. “Once he gets what he wants, you’ll be history,” she said. “Just like the rest of us. So enjoy playing prom date while you can because once he fucks you, you’ll be another notch on his belt and he’ll move on.”

Cassidy got right in Trina’s face. “Ladies, please …” Javi tried to defuse the situation, but Cassidy shoved him back.

“Let’s get one thing straight,” she hissed. “What Javi and I do is nobody’s business but our own. And just because I’m not wearing a pushup bra and a skirt that barely covers my hoochie doesn’t mean I’m some blushing virgin. I have a pretty good idea what Javi’s capable of and if and when I’m ready to experience it for myself, I will. So back off.” 

Trina scoffed but walked away. Cassidy turned to Javi. “Just so you know, you aren’t getting lucky tonight,” she said. 

“I knew that,” he said evenly, squirming a bit in his chair to hide the erection that was starting to form in his pants. For a woman in a sparkly barrette and Sunday school dress, Cassidy was incredibly hot right now.

She tilted her head at him. “Are you just going to sit there or are you going to dance with me?”

“Um, give me a minute,” he admitted. 

She glanced at his lap, laughed, and said, “I’m gonna go buy us a couple more beers. Then we’ll dance.” She swayed her hips a little as she walked away, then looked over her shoulder and laughed again. She definitely knew the effect she was having on him. _You’ll pay for all this teasing someday_ , he silently promised her.

*********************************************  
After Javi got a couple of beers in him, he ventured out on the dance floor. Cassidy wasn’t a great dancer herself, and once Javi realized she didn’t care what anybody thought as long as she was having a good time, he loosened up. Still, he seemed relieved when the band switched from the livelier line dances to more romantic stuff.

“Now this is more my style,” he said as he slid his hand into place on her waist. She nodded and let the hand on his shoulder drift up to cup the back of his neck.

“Me, too,” she said. “Not as many steps to remember and most people are too involved with their own partners to watch me make a fool of myself.” She let her fingertips ruffle his hair a little, just to watch him squirm. The hand on her waist spread out to cover her hip and he gave a tiny squeeze. 

“And we can put our hands on each other without people staring too much,” he murmured. 

“Yes,” she said. “Hands are nice.” She stepped a bit closer to him and laid her head against his chest. “Slow dancing is nice.” His hand moved to her lower back, pulling her even closer as they swayed to the music. 

She’d told herself to take things slowly, but there was something about Javi that pulled at her like a magnet. _Think with your brain, not your hormones_ , she told herself, but it was getting harder and harder to disregard the way he made her feel. And it wasn’t just lust; she genuinely _liked_ him, liked talking to him at the end of a training session, liked the way he listened to her when they were working with Buster, the way he never smoked near the barn, and how he watched her when rode, knowing he appreciated her skills in the saddle as much as he appreciated watching her boobs bounce and her hips flex with the movement of the horse. God help her, she thought she was falling in love with him.

**********************************************  
Javi was pretty sure he was falling in love with Cassidy. He hadn’t felt even a flicker of attraction toward any other woman at the dance, and there were a lot of them. He knew he could have gotten any of a dozen of them into bed with hardly any effort, but he’d rather spend the evening dancing with Cassidy and talking with her and his dad, and now, as he drove her home, he knew the night would end with nothing more than a goodnight kiss on the porch -- if he was lucky -- and he was perfectly fine with that.

“I had a good time,” he said as he parked the car outside her house. It was quiet, the only sound the pinging of cooling metal in the engine and a chorus of crickets and tree frogs coming from the creek a quarter mile away.

“Me, too,” she said. She’d abandoned her fancy barrette half way through the night and now her hair was pulled back in a simple ponytail. “You want the rubber band back?” she asked, pulling her hair loose. It fell around her face and she immediately brushed it back with her hand.

“No, you can keep it,” he said. “I’ve probably got more in there somewhere.” He waved his hand toward the glove box, then remembered what else she’d found inside, and bit his lower lip. 

“If you walk me to my door, you can kiss me goodnight,” Cassidy said. 

“I’ll take you up on that offer,” he replied, glad for the distraction from the contents of his glove box. He opened his door, hopped out of the cab and walked around to her side. She’d already opened the door, but he held out his hand to help her down and this time she accepted his help. As she jumped down out of the truck, he let one hand brush against her waist to steady her as she landed. Now it was her turn to bite her bottom lip. 

“Door,” she said, nodding toward the porch.

“Yeah,” he said, suddenly nervous. They walked up the steps and stood under the porch light, surrounded by a small cloud of moths and millers. Cassidy looked up at him and he cupped her face in his hands. “Good night, Cassidy,” he said softly. Then he pressed his lips gently to hers.

Suddenly, her arms were tight around his neck and she was kissing him fiercely. Her fingers were tangled in his hair and her tongue was in his mouth and Javi forgot how to breathe for a moment. Just as suddenly, she pulled back, her lips slightly swollen and her cheeks flushed. 

“Good night, Javier,” she said. “We’re almost there.” She smiled and reached into her purse for her keys. “I’ll see you Monday morning. I think we might put you up on Buster some time this week.” She turned away, unlocked the door, and pushed it open. For a moment she hesitated on the threshold, then smiled again. “Good night.” She stepped inside and pushed the door shut behind her. Javi heard the deadbolt slide shut and he let out the breath he’d been holding. Then he walked back to the truck, the taste of her lipstick and beer still on his tongue.

********************************************  
 _Holy shit_ , Cassidy said to herself as she leaned against the wall next to the door. She’d been that close to hauling Javi inside, pushing him down on the sofa, and climbing on top of him. It took a few minutes to catch her breath and calm down enough to move. She knew it was only a matter of time before he ended up in her bed and she needed to think before she acted. _Horses come first, no matter what_ , she told herself firmly. But his hands were so big, and so warm, and his lips so soft …

“You’re fucked, Cassidy,” she said with a sigh as she pushed off from the wall and headed for the bedroom to change. “Just be careful this time.”


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Javi and Cassidy open up to each other and their relationship heats up.
> 
> Chapter warnings: language, mention of past abusive relationship, explicit sexual content

“Relax!” Cassidy called out. Javi was stiff in the saddle and Buster was reacting to it. His head was too high and his gait was choppy. “Come on, you trust him. Let him feel it.”

The irony of her words weren’t lost on her. Here she was scolding Javi for not trusting his horse when she couldn’t even trust herself. After the dance on Saturday night, she’d lain awake in bed for hours, debating whether or not to just give in and follow her heart. In the end, she’d decided she couldn’t move forward until she’d gotten some sign that Javi trusted her. Until he was willing to talk about his past, she wouldn’t let things go any further than a kiss. Of course, her resolve was tested every day. After doing the evening barn chores, she and Javi shared a beer or pitcher of iced tea on the back porch; nothing different about that, but there was a tension between them now that was driving her nuts. Every night that week, when Javi had stood up and said “I’d better get going,” she’d wanted to tell him to stay, to come inside. But she’d held firm and they’d kissed tenderly and he’d left, even though she knew without a doubt that if he’d made the slightest hint at more she’d have been on her back in a hot minute.

“Stop,” she said. She crossed the arena to stand next to Buster’s shoulder. The gelding tossed his head and played with the bit, his eyes curious and a bit wild. “Okay, close your eyes. Just sit in the saddle and relax. _Feel_ him. And don’t worry, I’ve got him under control. Don’t think about who’s in charge. Just be one with the horse.” She hooked a finger around the closest rein, putting barely any pressure on it and started to lead Buster forward. She glanced back at Javi, who was still stiff as a board but did have his eyes closed. “Relax your hips and back,” she said. “Drop your hands down on your thighs. Just move with the rhythm of his walk. He’s your legs. Feel his hooves on the ground.”

She led them around the arena twice and then let go of the reins. Buster flicked an ear at her but she didn’t say anything, just kept walking beside him. He willingly walked with her and after a moment, he was flicking his ear back at Javi. “Open your eyes,” she said quietly. “And pick up the reins.” She stepped back and watched them make a circuit of the arena without her. Javi was still not relaxed enough, but he was a lot looser than he had been, and Buster’s head was lower, his neck stretched out and his stride more elastic.

“That’s good,” she called out. “Let’s end it there, on a good note. You can put him away now.”

She left them to it and went inside the house to fill a mixing bowl with ice and nestle two bottles of beer inside it. Javi’d earned a cold drink as a reward.

When he climbed the steps to take a seat in the sagging lawn chair next to her, she offered him a beer. “Thanks,” he said, pressing the cold bottle against his forehead. Beads of condensation dripped onto his face and hands as he held it there for a few seconds, then took a long pull. The plastic webbing on the chair creaked as he settled down.

“You did good out there today,” Cassidy said, taking a sip of her own beer. 

Javi shook his head. “No, I sucked,” he said matter of factly. 

“You did not,” she replied. “You had some trouble but you got through it. Buster was walking out nicely at the end and he was happy. So all's well that ends well.” She took another drink, then turned to look at Javi. “Can I ask you something?”

“Shoot,” he said, taking another pull at his beer.

“Why’d you quit the DEA?”

Javi stiffened again, his jaw clenched like a horse fighting the bit. “None of your business,” he said gruffly, setting his beer down on the ground. He leaned forward in the chair. “I should get going, I think Dad has something he needs me to do …”

“Why won’t you talk to me?” She didn’t mean to sound whiny but it just came out that way.

“I talk to you all the fucking time,” he growled. “I talk to you too much, to be honest.” He ran his hand through his hair, scrubbing at it until it stood on end. “Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea after all.” He stood up and headed for his truck.

“Javi,” Cassidy said, but he just waved his hand in the air and kept walking. 

***********************************************  
“You walked out on her?” Chucho asked. “Are you a fucking idiot?”

“I didn’t want to talk about it,” Javi said shortly. “She was prying.”

“She asked you a perfectly reasonable question,” Chucho shot back. “One I’ve been asking for months, by the way.”

“And if I won’t answer you, what makes you think I’d answer her?” Javi shouted. “You’re my goddamn _father_ and I don’t want to talk to you about it. What gives her the right to think she can demand to know anything about me?”

Chucho folded his arms across his chest. “Well, she’s your friend, for one thing. And she cares about you. Hell if I know why, though. You’re being an asshole.”

Javi just shook his head and left the living room. Dad couldn’t understand; no one here in the States could. He stalked into his bedroom and closed the door firmly. Back to cigarettes and whiskey and picking up cheap women at the bar. It was no more than he deserved. He couldn’t believe he’d thought he could have something more.

*************************************************  
Cassidy picked up the phone and put it down again for the fifth time. She hadn’t seen Javi in five days. Chucho had called two days after he’d stormed off and apologized for his son’s behavior. He’d promised her he wouldn’t let Javi go to the Lobo on Saturday night but she hadn’t heard a thing from either of them since that call. Even the horses couldn’t entirely soothe her heart; she knew she’d been too blunt, the equivalent of trying to ride a bronco before she’d fully gained its trust. It was as if she’d thrown a saddle on an abused horse, tightened the cinch and hopped on with spurs on her heels. Of course he’d bucked.

She took a deep breath, lifted the receiver again and punched in the phone number. Chucho picked up after five rings. “Hello,” he said, sounding a bit out of breath.

“Oh, hi, Chucho, it’s, um, it’s Cassidy. Is Javi there?” 

“Yeah, sitting on his lazy ass while his father nearly breaks his leg running for the phone,” he said loudly.

“Um, sorry,” Cassidy stuttered. “Can … can I talk to him?”

“I’ll ask,” Chucho said, more quietly this time. “No, actually, I’ll _make_ him. Hold on.” She heard the clunk as he laid the receiver down and then some muffled arguing in the background that went on for several minutes. She was just about to hang up when she heard a clatter and a huff that could only come from Javi.

“What?” he said gruffly.

“Javi,” she said hesitantly. “I … I just wanted to say I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have asked. I know it’s none of my business, and you’ll tell me when you’re ready. Or not.” She was rambling. “Um, would you like to come over for dinner tomorrow? I got a nice chicken from Mrs. Ramirez and I thought I’d roast it.” She bought her eggs from the Ramirez farm a few miles away, and this week they’d culled a bunch of layers who were getting too old to produce. Juanita had insisted she take one “for that _novio_ of yours.”

Javi was silent for several seconds and she was afraid he’d hung up while she was nattering on. “Okay,” he said finally. “I’ll see you tomorrow. What time?”

“Um, about six? No, seven. That’ll give me more time to get the barn chores done before I put the bird in the oven.” _Oh, lord, you sound like your mother, Cassidy_.

“Sounds good. See you then,” Javi said. There was a click as he disconnected the line and Cassidy stared at the receiver for a long moment before she hung up herself. 

*********************************************************  
Cassidy paced back and forth between the kitchen, where she compulsively checked on the chicken, to the front window where she would be able to see Javi’s truck the moment it turned into her drive. It was five minutes to seven and she hadn’t heard anything from him since the phone call the day before. Maybe he’d changed his mind. Maybe he wasn’t ready to forgive her.

She turned the oven off so the chicken wouldn’t get overdone, and took one last look around the kitchen. Everything was ready. A green salad sat in the refrigerator along with a bottle of white wine she’d rushed off to buy that morning. A basket of fresh dinner rolls was cooling on the counter, covered with a clean dish cloth to keep the flies off (it was impossible to keep them out of the house, despite strips of flypaper next to every door and Linus’ best attempts at fly eradication). 

“What do you think?” she asked the cat, who was perched hopefully on a stool next to the counter, waiting to beg for some chicken. “Is he going to show, or are you and I going to have to eat the whole thing?”

Linus blinked his gold-green eyes at her and looked satisfied. Either way, he knew he’d get a bite of chicken and that was all he cared about. Cassidy ruffled his cheeks, eliciting a deep rumbling purr. Then his ears pricked up and he looked toward the front of the house.

Cassidy heard it too, the crunch of gravel as a vehicle came up the driveway. Her heart was pounding as she went to the front door, trying not to be too obvious about peeking through the curtains. Javi stopped the truck, opened the door and stepped out. He had a bouquet of flowers in his hand, and Cassidy’s heart flipped. 

She waited patiently until he’d climbed the steps, crossed the porch, and knocked hesitantly at the door. She took a deep breath and opened the door. “Hi,” she said shyly.

“Hi,” he replied. He held out the flowers. “Dad insisted I bring you flowers. Said I owed you an apology, too.”

She took the flowers, a simple bouquet of cheery sunflowers and daisies. “Tell your dad thank you,” she said. “And you don’t have anything to apologize for. I’m the one who pushed you.”

“I know, but I may have overreacted a bit,” Javi said with a shrug. “Okay, a lot. Dad says you owe him for putting up with me this past week.” 

“I’ll bake him some cookies or something,” she said. “Come on in. Dinner’s just about ready.” She led him into the kitchen, where she found a jug to put the flowers in. They would make a perfect centerpiece.

Javi helped her move the food to the table, careful not to trip over Linus, who had begun his best starving cat act the moment the chicken emerged from the oven. “Don’t listen to him,” she said. “I fed him his dinner already, he’s just a greedy bastard.” She looked down at the cat’s pitiful face. “Besides, I’ll set some aside for him.”

She carved up the chicken while Javi poured the wine and soon they were sitting at the table, Linus weaving back and forth between their feet. The bird had come out okay, a little on the dry side, but what could you expect from an old hen? Javi complimented her cooking, she demurred, and after an awkward moment, they started talking about Buster and things were back to normal.

****************************************  
When dinner was over, Javi refilled their wine glasses while Cassidy put the leftovers in the fridge, stopping to drop a few scraps of chicken in Linus’s bowl. “Need help with the dishes?” he asked.

“Just put them in the sink,” she said. “I’ll do them later.” She picked up her wineglass and took a sip. They’d just about finished off the bottle.

After Javi sat the dirty plates and utensils in the sink, Cassidy handed him his wine. “Let’s go sit on the couch,” she said. “It’s more comfortable.” Soon they were on her beat up old sofa. “Take off your boots if you want,” she said, tugging at her own. She curled up with her feet under her once they were off. Javi removed his boots as well and sat with his feet stretched out in front of him, watching Cassidy sip her wine.

He took a deep breath and plunged in. It was now or never and he couldn’t string her along anymore. “Look,” he said. “I overreacted when you asked me about the DEA.”

“Forget about it,” she said.

“No, you deserve to know the truth,” he said. “And better now than before things get more serious between us.” He leaned back and closed his eyes. “I was in Colombia. We took out Pablo Escobar, and we were making headway with some of the other cartels. The partner I’d worked with went back to the States with his wife and I was … well, I was kind of the resident expert on things and people looked to me to make decisions, figure out which intel to follow up on and which to ignore.” He took a gulp of wine.

“I’d been after this one guy, total piece of shit who went by the name El Tigre. I’d gotten some information out of an informant but I wasn’t sure how reliable she was. So I asked another agent to tail her, find out if she was telling the truth. He said he didn’t see anything suspicious, so I kept in contact with her. Finally got a location from her. She swore El Tigre would be there. Just him and some of his men.”

“They were meeting up at a house on the outskirts of Medellin. I assembled a team.” His mouth was dry, and he took another drink of wine. “We went in. It was dark, all the lights were out except the room where they were meeting. And they were there. El Tigre and four of his lieutenants. We had them. But they weren’t the only ones in the house.”

“You don’t have to tell me,” Cassidy said softly, laying her hand on his arm. He shrugged her off. No, he had to get it out before he lost his courage.

“I do,” he said softly. “So, we went in, and there was a noise behind us. It was a kid. Maybe nine or ten. He was standing in the hallway in his pajamas. He saw us and yelled and then …” He stopped and took a deep breath. “He had a gun. A goddamned gun. Little kid had a fucking _pistol_ in his hand, so heavy he could hardly hold it up, and it was wobbling all over the place. And one of my guys shot him. Just fucking shot him in the chest.”

He leaned forward, pressing his hands against his eyes, elbows braced on his knees. Cassidy laid a hand on his back, but didn’t say anything. She just gently rubbed her hand against his shirt. “All hell broke loose,” he went on. “El Tigre and his guys bolted but they got off a few shots first. One of them winged my arm, and another one … hit another kid. It was his brother’s house and he had five kids. A fucking cartel meeting in a house full of kids.” He started sobbing. “They got away, and two kids died, and they gave me a fucking commendation for being wounded in the line of duty.”

He took a moment to compose himself a bit. “Everybody told me it was a good lead on El Tigre. They didn’t do a damn thing to Jenkins for shooting the kid because we’d all seen he had a gun in his hand. It was justifiable. The other kid was collateral damage. And they all fussed over me, made me go to the hospital and get my arm patched up and then it was back to business.” He shook his head. “I just couldn’t take it anymore. I should have gotten reamed out for not double checking the intel on the house before we went in, for endangering those kids, for giving the cartel another reason to hate us, but instead they all told me ‘good job’ and patted me on the back. I stayed home a couple of days because of the arm, then I went in and turned in my badge and my letter of resignation. I ran away.”

Cassidy kept rubbing his back. “You didn’t run away,” she said quietly. “You got yourself out of a toxic situation. That takes a lot of courage, trust me.” She leaned closer and kissed his cheek. 

He sat up and looked at her. She was smiling sadly, and reached up to wipe a tear from his face. “You don’t hate me?” he whispered.

She shook her head. “Of course not.”

“But I got those kids killed …” He had to stop; his throat was closing up.

“You made a mistake,” Cassidy said. “But we all make mistakes. You didn’t pull the trigger. It’s not your fault.”

“It is,” he insisted. He’d gone over and over it in his mind for months. If he’d just waited a little, done some reconnaissance, run a check on the address … “If I hadn’t sent my team in, those kids wouldn’t have died.”

“Those kids were in a house full of drug dealers,” she said. She pulled his head down on her chest and stroked his hair. He let his eyes close. “Who leaves a pistol out where a little kid can get his hands on it? And what kind of parent lets their brother hold a cartel meeting in the house while the kids are there? Some other rival gang could have been the ones to come in, not you. Those kids were in danger long before you showed up, Javi. It’s horrible, and sad, and they deserved better, but it wasn’t you who put them in harm’s way.”

He wanted to believe it, and as she carded her fingers through his hair, he let himself relax, just a little. Maybe she was right. Maybe it wasn’t entirely his fault. “Cry if you need to,” she whispered in his ear. “I’ve got you. Trust me.”

He shook his head, burrowing his face into her neck. “No, I don’t need to cry,” he said, his voice muffled against her skin. “Just … can you just hold me for a while, though?”

“Of course,” she said. And she held him while he tried to make sense of things.

***************************************************  
Cassidy held Javi, her heart aching for him. How long had he been beating himself up over this? It was a terrible tragedy, but the idea of the sweet, thoughtful man she’d come to know believing himself to be a monster was almost more than she could bear. And she kicked herself for dragging her feet. _He’s not Travis_ , she told herself.

After a while, she pressed a kiss to Javi’s forehead. “Hey, when I said it takes a lot of courage to get yourself out of a toxic situation, I meant it,” she said gently. 

He looked up at her. “What do you mean?”

She sighed and snuggled closer. “About a year ago, I walked out on my boyfriend,” she said. “He was … he wasn’t a nice guy.” Javi sat up and put his arms around her, laying her head on his shoulder.

“You don’t have to tell me,” he said.

“Yeah, I do,” she replied. “You trusted me. It’s time I trust you back.” She squirmed against him until she was basically in his lap, his strong arms wrapped tightly around her. 

“He was great at first, but he started complaining that I wasn’t giving him enough attention. Yelled at me if I was late for something, if I spent time with my friends or my family or my horses. One time we were supposed to have dinner with some guy he was trying to impress at work, and I got there late because I’d had to change the wrapping on a horse’s hoof after he tore it off, and Travis -- that was his name, Travis -- was all sweet at the restaurant, but when we got back to his place he screamed at me for making him look stupid in front of this guy, and he hit me.” Javi’s arms tightened around her and she scrunched her eyes shut. “I thought I deserved it, because my mom thought he hung the moon and was always telling me to put him first, that kind of crap. Her dream for me was to be the happy homemaker, find a guy who could take care of me financially and be a soccer mom and bake brownies for the PTA fundraiser. Just like her.”

Javi chuckled. “Has your mother ever actually met you?” he asked.

“She thought I’d grow out of my horse phase,” she said. “Dad knew I wouldn’t but Mom never would listen to him. Anyway, I put up with Travis for almost two years. Moved in with him because he complained I didn’t spend enough time with him. And then one night, we were going to go out to the movies. It wasn’t even a good movie, just some dumb action flick he wanted to see because it had explosions and there was a girl with big boobs on the poster. Before we left, I went out to the barn to see how my new horse was. He was a big blue roan gelding I’d bought from a friend who had to move out of state. She called him Blue, which was incredibly boring, but I hadn’t had a chance to pick out a new name for him.” She paused, feeling a hitch in her breathing that promised to turn into sobs at the least provocation. She took a few deep, steadying breaths before she went on.

“He’d been acting a little funny earlier in the day, and I thought he looked colicky. But Travis said he looked fine, it was a warm night, and no wonder the damn horse was a little sweaty, the barn was like an oven. He told me to set up a box fan in the doorway and get ready to go. And I did, because I didn’t want him to get mad.”

She paused again, and Javi bumped her forehead with his own. “Take your time,” he said. She nodded.

“After the movie, Travis wanted to go out with some friends for drinks, even though I wanted to get back and check on Blue. It was close to two by the time we headed home, and he spent the whole drive telling me what a buzzkill I was and could I just shut up about the stupid horses for five minutes. Still, when we got home, I went straight to the barn and Blue was down in his stall, soaking wet and groaning. I ran back inside, called the vet, and then screamed at Travis for making me leave that poor horse alone in pain. He smacked me across the face and said, ‘It’s just a horse, get a grip.’ I went outside to wait for the vet, and when he got there, he said there wasn’t anything he could do except put Blue down. He’d twisted his gut rolling around in the stall. I felt horrible about it. I should have been there to watch him, to keep him from going down, to walk him and call the vet early, while there was still a chance. But I had to listen to Travis.” Tears streamed down her face and she didn’t even attempt to hold them back. 

“I went back in the house and told him we’d had to kill Blue, and you know what he said? ‘It would have been cheaper to shoot him.’ Then he told me to come to bed and I just stood there and stared at him. And I went into the bedroom and I packed a bag and I walked out the door and all the way to my parents’ house.”

“Good for you,” Javi said.

“It was a nightmare,” she said. “Mom told me to go back to him, he threatened to sell my other horses if I didn’t get them off his property ASAP, half of my friends told me I was crazy. So when my great uncle died and left me some money, I started looking for property for sale, somewhere _away_ from my mother.”

“And you came here,” Javi said. 

“And I came here.” She brushed his hair back from his forehead. “Guess we’re both kind of screwed up, huh?”

“You’re not screwed up,” Javi said quietly. “Your ex-boyfriend’s the one who’s screwed up. Who could even _think_ of hitting you?” He gently traced his finger down the side of her face.

“Thank you,” she said. “And for the record, I don’t think _you’re_ screwed up, just your reaction to what happened. You, Javier Pena, are a good man.”

He huffed. “Oh, honey, you are so wrong about that,” he said. “I’ve done terrible things.”

“But you aren’t doing them any more,” she insisted. “You are a good son to your father, you are amazing with Buster, and … you put up with my bullshit.” She tapped the end of his nose with her fingertip.

He chuckled. “Well, you put up with mine, and I have a whole lot more bullshit than you do,” he said. He sighed. “I should probably get going. I think Dad wants me to help them move some cattle in the morning.”

“Stay,” she said without thinking.

“What?” He looked her in the eye and she held his gaze without blinking.

“I don’t want you to go, Javi,” she said. “I want you to stay with me. Please.” She kissed him, using the tip of her tongue to tease his lips open. “Stay.”

“Are you sure?” he said, his voice husky as he spoke against her mouth.

“Yes,” she said. “I trust you, Javi. I’m ready to jump in with both feet.”

She felt him smile. “Off the deep end,” he said before he kissed her again, this time more fiercely than before. Then he pulled back. “Hold on a sec.” He jumped up, shoved his boots back on and dashed out the door. He was back less than a minute later, the box of condoms from the glove box in his hand. Cassidy laughed.

He held the box up. “I was never a Boy Scout, but my daddy taught me to always be prepared,” he said.

“Might as well keep those here instead of in your truck,” she told him. “You’re not going to be needing them anywhere else, are you?” She gave him a pointed look.

“Nope,” he said, tossing the box onto the coffee table. “Now, where were we?”

“Right about here,” she said, pulling him back onto the couch and climbing into his lap. She could feel her panties already getting wet and there was a definite bulge in his jeans as she wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him. She fumbled with his belt buckle, eager to see if he really did need those extra large condoms.

“Easy there,” he chuckled in between kisses. “We’ve got plenty of time.”

“I want you, Javi,” she said, pausing in her attempt to unfasten his pants to grind against his thigh. Oh, god, he felt good. 

“I want you, too,” he said. “But let’s not rush. I don’t want to just fuck you, Cassidy. I want to make love to you.” He slid his hand up the back of her shirt and ran his fingertips lightly up and down her spine.

“Fuck me first, then make love,” she said, desperate all of a sudden. Javi grabbed her around the waist and flipped her down on the couch. He undid the button on her jeans and slowly slid the zipper down. She arched her hips toward him.

“Calm down,” he whispered into her ear. He pushed her pants down and then moved her panties aside and slipped a finger between her legs. She gasped as he brushed past her clit and tentatively slid inside her. “So wet already,” he murmured. “You weren’t kidding.”

He added another finger and began circling her clit with his thumb. “Oh, god, Javi,” she panted. “Don’t tease me. I want you inside me.”

“I am inside you,” he said, licking and kissing his way down her throat. He pushed his fingers deeper, hooking them to press against her G-spot. She bucked her hips and squeezed her walls tightly around his fingers. “Fuck!” he cried as she clamped down around him. He pulled his hand out and finished undoing his own pants. He barely had the jeans down before she was tugging at his briefs, releasing his dick from its confinement.

“Holy shit, you weren’t just being conceited,” she said when she saw it. “No wonder that woman at the dance was mad you never called her back.”

“Ha ha,” he said as he fumbled with the condom box. He finally got one out and tore the packet open, then expertly rolled the condom down over his shaft. “You ready?”

“What do you think?” she shot back, spreading her legs as wide as she could with her jeans still around her knees. He shook his head, pulled her jeans all the way off, then her panties. He shed his own pants and underwear, then hovered over her. 

“Last chance to back out,” he said, his pupils wide with passion. She reached down, grabbed his dick and guided it toward her vagina. He chuckled. “I’ll take that as a yes,” he said as he pushed into her. She gasped as he filled her, stretching her walls more than they’d ever been stretched before. “You okay?” he asked again.

“Yeah,” she managed to say. “Oh, god, you feel so good inside me.”

“You feel so good around me,” he replied. He pushed a bit more, getting himself firmly seated within her before he pulled back just a bit and then rocked back inside. “So wet, so tight,” he muttered.

Slowly, they began to move together, in and out, his dick sliding easily within her despite his size, thanks to the moisture dripping from her. She didn’t think she’d ever been this wet before, and it was amazing. “Faster,” she urged, and he thrust harder, pulling out just a bit more, then slamming back into her. 

Soon, he was pumping away frantically, but he kept a steady rhythm. One hand slipped down so he could touch her clit with his thumb and she nearly came right then and there. She felt his laugh rather than heard it, the sound of their grunts and pants loud enough to disguise it. “Like that?,” he crooned. 

“Yeah,” she gasped. “Yeah.” He picked up the pace and she felt him start to falter. 

“I’m close,” he panted into her ear. “You need any help?”

“No,” she said. She wrapped her legs around his waist and dug her fingers into his ass. “Almost … there.”

He shuddered against her and she arched her back against him. The pressure against her clit sent her over the edge and she cried out his name. “Oh, god, Javi, oh, oh, OH!”

He bit down on her shoulder, stifling his own cry against her shirt. She felt him twitching inside her as he ejaculated and then went limp on top of her. He lay there panting for a moment, then pulled out and peeled off the condom.

“Oh, my god,” she said, watching him look around for somewhere to toss it. “That … that was … oh my god, Javi.”

He chuckled. “And that was just the fucking,” he said. He stood up, walked over to the wastebasket near the kitchen door and then swaggered back. “Time for the love making.” He held out his hand and helped her stand. She felt absolutely filthy, her thighs sticky from the flood of discharge from her orgasm. “Where’s the bedroom?,” he asked.

“Through there,” she said, pointing down the hall. 

“Then let’s go,” Javi said. He pulled off his shirt and tossed it on the floor next to his jeans. Cassidy laughed.

“Oh, god, I didn’t even take my bra off,” she said giddily. Javi quickly stripped her shirt off and unfastened her bra.

“Like I said,” he said, cupping her breasts in his hands and gently stroking her nipples with his thumbs. “Time for some proper love making.” He kissed her again and she stumbled backwards toward the bedroom. She wasn’t sure she’d survive till morning, but what a way to go.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The smut continues ... and Javi stays for breakfast
> 
> Chapter warnings: language, explicit sex, oral sex (female receiving)

Javi steered Cassidy into her bedroom. He’d never seen it before and he was surprised to see a pale blue and white gingham bedspread, ruffled white curtains and a pile of thick pillows against the headboard. It seemed far too girly for the woman in his arms. 

“Turn down the covers,” he said quietly. “I’ll be right back.” He was so discombobulated by her he’d forgotten to grab the condoms before they left the living room. He dashed back and scooped the box off the coffee table. Linus was sitting in the middle of the floor, giving him a judging look. “What are you looking at?,” he asked. The cat didn’t answer.

When he walked back into the bedroom, Javi smiled. Cassidy had flung the covers back and was lying sprawled across the bed, looking deliciously wanton. He tossed the box of condoms onto the nightstand and crawled onto the bed to hover over her on his elbows and knees. Only a few inches separated their bodies. 

“Hello, there,” she said. She ran her hands up his arms and down his back.

“Hello,” he replied. “Are you ready for some loving?”

“Yes,” she said. She slid one hand down to cup his ass and he shook his head.

“No, no, no, we’re taking it slow this time,” he said. “Just lay back and enjoy.” He bent forward and pressed a soft kiss against her forehead, then another on the tip of her nose. He peppered her with delicate kisses, working his way slowly down to her throat. He licked and nibbled and nuzzled her neck and collarbone while she gasped and moaned beneath him. 

He moved down to her breasts. He shifted his weight onto one hip so he could let his fingertips trace a lazy spiral around one breast, ending up with a gentle pinch of the nipple. He repeated the process on the other, then traced the same path with his lips and tongue. As he sucked gently on her nipples, she arched her back. “Oh, god, Javi, you’re driving me crazy.”

“Good,” he chuckled. He was hard again already but he was going to take his time and worship her body. After finding out that her asshole of an ex had hit her, he wanted to show her how a real man treated a woman.

He moved on from her breasts, scattering kisses across her stomach. She giggled. “I’m ticklish, stop it,” she gasped. He didn’t stop. He kept going. 

He slid down and kissed the insides of her thighs, gently spreading them wider and wider, working his way toward the soft mound between them. He paused a moment to glance up at her. She nodded and he parted her lips, letting his tongue drag it’s slow way through her folds. Her hips bucked up and he pressed her hips firmly to the mattress to keep her still and he dove in.

He sucked and licked at her clit until she moaned, then he let go of one hip and slid a finger inside her. He knew she was close and he wanted to really send her over the edge. “Javi, please, please,” she gasped. 

“Please, what?,” he said in between licks. 

“Let me come, Javi, oh, my god, stop teasing me, I’m so close,” she babbled.

Javi smiled against her thigh. “Whatever you want, hermosa,” he said. He slid a second finger inside her and started pumping them slowly in and out, hooking his fingertips to try to find the right spot. At the same time, he nuzzled her clit and teased it with the tip of his tongue. After a few moments, he’d found the spot and the right rhythm and he licked and tickled and rubbed and sucked until she arched her back against his face and he felt the moisture flood out of her. 

“Javi, oh god, Javi!” she cried out. He pressed her into the mattress as she orgasmed, clenching around his fingers. When she finally came down from her high, he slowly withdrew, giving her one last lingering kiss before he slid back up to look her in the eye.

“Holy shit,” she said, her eyes glazed. “That was … I can’t …”

Javi kissed her, letting the taste of her orgasm mingle with the taste of her mouth. “Let me guess, jerkwad Travis never did that for you,” he whispered in her ear.

She laughed. “He thought it was stupid,” she said. “Sex with him was more like bull riding. I was lucky if he lasted the full eight seconds.” Her hand slid down his side and around to grasp his dick. Now it was his turn to gasp as she ran her thumb over the head and gave a slight tug.

“Your turn,” she said, with a wicked grin. She surged up against him and flipped him over onto his back. “Hand me a condom.” He did and she sheathed him in it, her hands trembling a little. Then she sat up, straddled him and lined herself up with his dick. “Let’s ride, cowboy.” She slid onto him and he put his hands on her hips to steady her.

***********************************  
Cassidy was still quivering from her second orgasm of the night but she rode Javi as hard as she could. His hands on her hips kept her in place as she ground against him, sliding up and down on his dick. It wasn’t long before her thighs started to give out and she collapsed on top of him, still moving her hips against him. He flipped her over and began to thrust steadily into her. “I can take it from here,” he murmured into her ear as he sucked on her neck and rocked in and out of her. He was slower and less frantic than he’d been on the couch, and she knew he was holding back, trying to get her off again.

“Don’t worry about me,” she said. “It’s your turn, remember.”

He hummed against her throat and started pumping harder. It wasn’t long before he shuddered, pinning her against the mattress with his full weight as he ejaculated. This time he didn’t bite her, just whispered her name over and over into her ear.

When he was done, he pulled out, removed the condom and tossed it into the trash can next to the bed. They lay still for a minute or two, catching their breath, and then he heaved himself up. “I’ll be right back,” he said. Cassidy lay back, still throbbing inside and feeling like every muscle in her body had been turned into rubber. Javi came back with a damp washcloth and carefully cleaned her up, wiping her thighs and vulva. Then he swiped it over his dick and tossed it into the hamper next to the door.

“I should get going,” he said.

“What?”

“Dad will be wondering where I am,” he said. 

She sat up and grabbed his hand, pulling him onto the bed. “I think he knows exactly where you are,” she said firmly. “And when I asked you to stay I meant the whole night.” He looked down at their intertwined hands, then up at her. “I want to fall asleep in your arms, Javi,” she said softly. “I want to wake up next to you in the morning.” She squeezed his fingers. “Sleep with me, Javi.”

He squeezed back. “Okay,” he said. 

***************************************  
Javi couldn’t remember the last time he’d spent the night with a woman. He’d had lots of sex, yeah, but he’d always tried to keep it on a superficial level. No strings, no emotional ties. No cuddling and snuggling, no room for tender emotions. Wham, bam, thank you ma’am. Love ‘em and leave ‘em. That was his MO.

But now, with Cassidy curled up against his chest, breathing slowly and rhythmically as she slept, he felt something blossom inside him. Something warm and comforting and scary as hell. He felt _happy_. He felt content. He felt loved. 

He gently cupped one of her breasts in his hand and burrowed his face into the back of her neck. Her braid had come mostly undone during their exertions and she’d taken it down before they went to sleep. Her hair smelled like coconut and hay. As he took a deep breath, she stirred a little, laying her hand over his where it lay on her breast. He kissed her shoulder and whispered, “I love you.” She was asleep and she wouldn’t know he’d said it, but he would. 

The obnoxious beeping of the alarm clock startled him awake. Cassidy was already halfway out of bed by the time he was coherent enough to form words. “What the …,” he managed to get out.

“I have to go feed,” she said. “If I’m late, the horses will tear down the barn. Go back to sleep.” He heard her getting clothes out of her dresser and pulling them on in the dark. He laid on his back for a moment, listening to her talk to Linus, who was meowing loudly for his breakfast. Then the back door swung shut as she headed out to the barn.

He was tempted to go back to sleep like she suggested, thinking that maybe she’d rejoin him in bed after she’d fed the horses, but a sense of duty and fairness drove him to sit up. If she had to get up at the ass crack of dawn to feed the horses, the least he could do was have coffee ready for her when she got back inside. He stumbled to the bathroom, peed, and rinsed his mouth out with the mouthwash on the counter. 

He recovered his clothing from the living room floor, got dressed, and headed for the kitchen. Linus was polishing his dish, the rumble of his purr filling the room. “Where does she keep the coffee, buddy?,” he asked. The cat flicked an ear at him, but kept licking his plate, searching for every last crumb of wet food. Javi shrugged. He should have known better than to expect help from a cat.

He found the coffee and filled the water reservoir on the coffee maker. He wasn’t sure if she liked it strong or not, but he did and since she got up early every morning, he made the assumption that she did, too. While the water heated up and began gurgling through the machine, he poked around in the fridge and cupboards to see what possibilities there were for breakfast.

By the time Cassidy came through the back door, he had bread in the toaster and was cracking eggs into a hot frying pan. “What’s this?,” she said.

“Breakfast,” he said, neatly sidestepping Linus, who had finished his food and was now sitting smack in the middle of the kitchen floor taking a very thorough bath. He kissed Cassidy on the forehead. “Not sure about you, but I worked up quite an appetite after last night. And you did make dinner.”

She laughed. “I’m not complaining, just a bit surprised.” She shoved Linus out of the way with the toe of her boot and pulled some mugs out of the cupboard. While he finished scrambling the eggs, she poured two cups of coffee. “How do you take it?”

“Black is fine,” he said. He was amazed at how easy it felt, the two of them moving around the kitchen, fixing breakfast, as if they did this every morning. There was none of the awkwardness he’d been expecting, no feeling that he had to impress her or that she was trying to impress him. Her hair was in a messy ponytail, her boots were muddy, and she was wearing a pair of faded jeans and a baggy t-shirt with a picture of a cartoon horse on it.

As he was dishing up the eggs, the phone rang. Cassidy sat their coffee on the table and dodged the cat again to reach the phone. “Hello.” She smiled widely. “Yeah, he’s here. You need to talk to him?” She mouthed “Your dad” at him, as if he couldn’t figure it out. She listened for a while, stifling a laugh. “Okay, I’ll send him home after I’ve fed him. Yeah, yeah, you, too.”

She hung up. “He just wanted to make sure you were still here and not dead in a ditch on the way home,” she said. “He wants you to help with those cattle if, and I quote, you’re not too exhausted.” She sat down and sipped at her coffee. 

Javi rolled his eyes as he sat a plate of eggs and toast in front of her. “Great, now he’s going to tease me all day,” he said.

“I can call him back and tell him you’re worn out,” she teased. 

“No, then I’d never hear the end of it,” he shot back. He shoveled some eggs into his mouth. He really was hungry this morning, and if he was going to be out moving cattle, there wouldn’t be much time for lunch. 

They ate and he helped her do the dishes, including the ones from dinner that they’d been too busy to attend to. “I’d better head out or Dad’ll be calling again,” he said when they were finished. 

“I’ve got to get busy mucking out the stalls,” she said. “Guess you won’t be working with Buster today?”

Javi shook his head. “No, we’ll probably be out most of the day. I’ll call you tonight, though.” He kissed her goodbye, then headed for his truck.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cassidy meets the family and two new horses join the herd.
> 
> Chapter warnings: language

They settled into a comfortable routine. Javi still came most days to work with Buster, but now he spent the night a few times a week. Cassidy kept a couple of casseroles in her freezer, ready to pop in the oven on the days Javi stayed over. They were cheap and each one would feed them for several days. Saturday nights, they went “out” to Chucho’s to watch movies and snuggle on the couch. Her own VCR had broken and she hardly used it anyway, so even though they sacrificed some privacy, it was worth it to enjoy a film on Chucho’s 36 inch television once a week. 

“You should come with us to the party tomorrow,” Chucho said one Saturday night as they were waiting for the video to rewind before putting it back in the case. 

“Aw, Dad, she doesn’t want to spend the day with a bunch of people she’s never met,” Javi said. 

“They want to meet her,” Chucho said. He turned to Cassidy. “I know you have work to do, _mija_ , but I’m getting tired of everyone asking me why Javi won’t bring his _novia_ around to meet everyone. They think there’s something wrong with you.”

Javi snorted. “They do not,” he said. “They just want to tell her embarrassing stories about me.” He took Cassidy’s hand and squeezed it. “You don’t have to go.”

She looked between the two men. Chucho had a pleading look on his face, while Javi looked slightly smug. “Actually,” she said, “I would like to meet some of your relatives.” Javi shook his head, while Chucho laughed. 

“Oh, baby, you don’t know what you’re getting yourself into,” Javi said. 

She put her arms around him and hugged him tight. “That’s what everyone said when I started dating you,” she reminded him. “And so far I don’t regret a thing.”

He tilted her chin up and kissed her. “ _Ay dios mio_ , get a room,” Chucho teased as he punched the eject button on the VCR and removed the videotape. “Or better yet, go back to Cassidy’s place so I don’t have to hear ‘Oh, Javi, oh, Javi’ all night.”

One Saturday night, after a marathon of The Godfather and The Godfather II, Cassidy had opted to spend the night rather than drive home so late, and Chucho had teased them mercilessly the next morning, complaining that he needed to soundproof the walls of Javi’s bedroom if she was going to sleep over again. 

“Shut up, Dad,” Javi said easily. 

“Yeah, shut up, Dad,” Cassidy repeated. “I really should get going, though. If I’m going with you tomorrow, I’ll need to get all my barn chores done early.” She stood up and Javi walked her to the front door.

“He’s going to tease the hell out of me now,” he said quietly.

“What do you mean?”

“You called him Dad,” Javi said. “I’m sure you can imagine what he’ll read into that.”

She laughed. “Sorry. I wasn’t thinking. I was just mimicking you.” She put a hand on the back of his neck and pulled him down for a goodnight kiss. “Call me in the morning when you’re ready to go.”

He pressed his forehead against hers. “Be careful driving home,” he whispered.

“Always,” she replied. She kissed his lips again gently, and then headed for her truck. 

*********************************  
Javi shifted nervously in his seat. Cassidy sat between him and Chucho, who was driving, and he didn’t know what to do with his hands. If he put his arm around her, his hand would be brushing his father’s shoulder, but the bench seat was crowded with three of them jammed into the cab. His right elbow was pressed against the door and his left threatened to jab Cassidy in the ribs. 

“For Christ’s sake, settle down, _mijo_ ,” Chucho grumped. “Just put your arm around her.”

Cassidy chuckled and scooched closer to him. Chucho shook his head. “You’d think you were a couple of junior high kids on the way to their first dance,” he said. 

Javi knew it was silly but he couldn’t help it. He hadn’t brought a girl to a family function in years. Not since Lorraine. He slid his arm around Cassidy’s shoulders and pulled her closer. She laid her head on his shoulder.

“I’m just nervous,” he admitted. “They’re all going to tease me and ask a million questions and embarrass the hell out of us.”

“They’re family,” Chucho said. “That’s what they’re supposed to do.”

When they pulled up outside Tio Ricardo’s house, there were already more than a dozen vehicles parked haphazardly in the driveway, front lawn, and down the street. Ricardo lived in an older subdivision with one acre lots and a semi-rural atmosphere. 

“So, who’s birthday is it?” Cassidy asked as Javi helped her down from the truck.

“My cousin Arturo,” Javi replied. “He’s turning eighteen. Probably champing at the bit to ditch the family party and go out with his friends.”

It took some time to introduce Cassidy to everyone. Even the kids were curious about the woman who was dating Primo Javi, even more so when they found out she had horses. Soon Cassidy was deep in conversation with three little girls who had brought their toy ponies along with them.

“So,” Tio Ricardo said, handing Javi a cold beer. “You better not leave this one at the altar, you hear me?”

“We’ve been dating less than two months,” Javi said. Ricardo simply looked at him. Javi sighed. “Look, Dad already told me what he’ll do to me if I break her heart. You don’t have to do it, too.” He took a drink of his beer. “I’m not gonna hurt her,” he said softly. 

“Good,” Ricardo said. “And by the way, if she hurts you, I’m siccing Abuela Graciela on her.” He laughed and slapped Javi on the back. No one crossed Abuela Graciela, who was close to ninety years old but still ruled with an iron fist. Even the wildest teenage boy in the family dreaded doing something to bring him to her attention. Her tongue was sharp and if Javi could have taken her down to Colombia and turned her loose on Pablo Escobar and the other _narcos_ it would have saved the whole world a lot of trouble.

******************************  
Cassidy had a great time at the party, even though she didn’t know anyone and half the conversations going on around her were in Spanish. The three little girls, Ana, Maria, and Chelsea, were enamored with her and she had a standing invitation to “play horses” with them any time. 

She’d also heard the story of how Javi left Lorraine at the altar at least six times and several stories of stupid things he’d done as a kid and teenager. Chucho assured her only half of them were true, but wouldn’t tell her which half. And the food was amazing. Ricardo’s wife had insisted everyone take some leftovers home with them, so on the ride home, she and Javi carefully balanced foil trays and packets of carne asada, homemade tortillas, and potato salad. 

“Now I see why you two accept every invitation,” she said. “You get free food.” 

Javi chuckled. “Yeah, Dad hates to cook, so we live off leftovers for a couple of days.” He rubbed his hand up and down the outside of her arm. “I should start bringing some over so you don’t have to feed me every time I spend the night.” 

“I don’t mind feeding you,” she insisted. “You’re doing so much around the place, I feel like I owe you. And feeding you is cheaper than paying you.”

Javi leaned in and whispered, his mustache tickling her ear, “You’re already paying me in other ways.” 

“Nah,” she whispered back, “that’s not payment. I might do just about anything for my horses but I’m now whoring myself out for them.” She winked at him, so he’d know she was kidding. 

Javi just shook his head. She wondered just how much he knew about her financial situation. So far, she was hanging in there, and she didn’t want him to worry about nothing. 

************************************  
Javi pulled up next to Cassidy’s house to see two strange horses trotting around in Buster’s pen. They were smallish pintos, one black and white, the other red and white. Both had tangles in their manes and tails and bright yellow stickers on their rumps.

Buster whickered at him from the arena, where he was standing at the rail, staring at the newcomers, his nostrils flared. Javi walked over to him. “Did they kick you out, buddy?”

Buster flicked an ear at him but kept his eyes on the other horses. “It’s just temporary,” Cassidy called from the barn. She walked toward them. “They’re pretty bonded and I didn’t want them to freak out too much.”

“I thought you were going to get one horse,” Javi said. She’d sold Dawson a week ago and last night she’d headed for the local auction to buy a new project horse with part of the money.

“So did I,” she admitted, stroking Buster’s muzzle. “But like I said, they’re very bonded and I couldn’t break them up. And they were cheap enough.”

“How much did you end up clearing?” Javi asked.

She wouldn’t look at him. “Fifty bucks,” she said quietly. He sighed. Fifty dollars wouldn’t buy much hay, and now she had two more mouths to feed. She’d planned to spend only half the money she’d gotten for Dawson. She’d sold him for five hundred, which meant she’d spent four fifty on the two pintos.

“Two twenty five a piece doesn’t seem cheap to me,” he said mildly. “Unless you know something I don’t.” The horses looked half wild and personally he wouldn’t have paid more than a hundred and fifty for either one.

“I had to go that high to outbid the meat buyer,” she said. “But if I can retrain them fast, I can try to sell them as a pair. They might be good for a drill team or something like that. The auction guy said they might be mother and daughter. The black and white is about eight and the chestnut is about four, so it’s possible.” 

“Let me know if you need any help with hay or anything,” Javi offered.

“I’m fine,” Cassidy snapped. “I didn’t clear much profit off Dawson but so what? I’ll just sell a couple extra articles this month. I have a shitload of ideas.” She bit her lower lip. “Come on, let me introduce you to my new wild girls.” She walked purposefully toward the pen, and Javi followed. He’d touched a nerve, but he didn’t want to push her.

The mares were wary but were easily lured to the fence with the carrots in Cassidy’s back pocket. They were small, the four year old not much bigger than a pony. “They’ll be great kids' horses if I can calm them down,” she said, rubbing the older mare’s forehead. The filly snorted and shied away. “Great 4-H project or gymkhana, especially the young one.”

Javi wasn’t convinced, but he kept his mouth shut. They seemed a bit too wild, even more so than Buster had been when he first arrived. Buster had been scared but he’d been fully broken already. These two were more like mustangs just off the range, and Javi sure wouldn’t trust a kid with either of them, but Cassidy was the expert.

“So, when does my boy get his pen back?,” he asked, half joking.

“Couple of days,” she replied. “I want to pull out the wall between two stalls so they can share a bigger one, then I’ll move them into the barn. I’ve been thinking about doing that anyway, so I’ll have a foaling stall just in case I ever get a pregnant mare.”

“Or you decide to breed Cricket?,” he asked.

She whipped her head around. “I’m not breeding Cricket,” she said firmly. “She’s a lovely mare and God knows I wish there were more horses like her in the world, but with all the horses being dumped at auction, there’s no need for me to be adding another backyard bred horse to the world.” She leaned against the fence and stared off into the distance. “That’s actually a good idea for an article. ‘Why You Shouldn’t Breed Your Mare.’ I need to remember that.”

They spent the rest of the day tearing out the wall between the two stalls on the end of the aisle. Cricket and Nugget, the other rescue horse, who was unable to be sold yet because of a chronic tendon issue that needed time to heal, watched for a while but got bored quickly and went back to dozing in the back of their stalls. 

“Tomorrow, we’ll sand everything down, pull out any loose nails, and cover the edges up with new boards,” Cassidy said when they were done. “You gonna stay tonight or go home?”

“Dad’s expecting me,” he said reluctantly. “He’s got some paperwork he wants me to help him with. Some kind of permits he has to file before he can build a ditch or something.” Honestly, Javi hadn’t been paying full attention when Chucho had explained it to him. But he was very familiar with bureaucratic red tape, and he’s promised to help his father fill out the forms.

“Then I’ll see you tomorrow,” Cassidy said. She pulled him in for a kiss and he slid his arms around her waist. He wished he could be with her every night, but neither of them was ready to take that step yet. He kissed her again and headed home.

*****************************  
Cassidy was kind of glad that Javi couldn’t stay that night. She fed all the horses, put Buster back in his stall, double checked the gate on the pen where the new mares were, and went into the house. She fixed herself a sandwich for dinner, fed Linus, and then parked her butt in her desk chair. She brainstormed some ideas for an article on reasons not to breed a mare, did revisions on a finished article on bareback pads, and got several paragraphs done on her latest work in progress. 

Last of all, she went over her spreadsheet. This month would be tight, since she’d been counting on more of a profit off the sale of Dawson, but she’d be able to make her mortgage payment and feed all the animals, and that was all that mattered. Still, she’d have to work her ass off to build her emergency cushion back up.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Javi and Cassidy face a crisis together.
> 
> Chapter warnings: language, sick animal, minor veterinary procedures

The phone rang in the middle of the night, jolting Javi out of a sound sleep. He hesitated a moment, getting his bearings, before he jumped out of bed and hurried down the hall to answer the call before his father got up.

“Hello,” he said warily. Middle of the night calls were never good.

“Javi.” It was Cassidy. “Does your dad have any Banamine?”

“Um, I’m not sure,” Javi said. “What is that?”

“A painkiller for horses,” she said quickly. “One of the new mares is colicking and I’m all out.”

Chucho appeared at Javi’s elbow. “What’s wrong? What’s going on?”

Javi covered the receiver with his hand. “It’s Cassidy. One of her new horses is sick. She wants to know if you have any … Bananameme?”

“Banamine,” Chucho corrected him. He held out his hand and took the receiver. “Cassidy. Yeah, hi, it’s Chucho. I think I have some in the barn. I’ll send Javi over with it.” He shoved the phone back into Javi’s hand. “I’ll be right back.”

“Cassidy?” Javi said into the phone. “Dad’s going to go get the medicine. I’ll be there as soon as I can, okay?”

“Yeah, thanks, Javi,” she said. “Look, I’d better get back out to her. Come straight to the barn when you get here.” There was a click and the line went dead.

When Javi pulled up next to Cassidy’s house, the kitchen light and back porch light were on, as well as the lights in the barn. It was almost two. He gathered up the vial of medication Chucho had given him, as well as a couple of clean hypodermic needles.

As soon as he walked into the barn, he knew it was bad. The little mare, the black and white one, was standing in the aisle next to Cassidy, her coat absolutely soaked with sweat across her hindquarters and barrel. The filly was whickering nervously from the double stall and the other three were watching alertly from their own stalls.

“Come on, Mama,” Cassidy pleaded. “Keep walking, girl.” The mare lowered her head and started to bend her knees. It was clear she wanted to lie down.

“I’m here,” Javi called out and Cassidy whipped her head up. Her exhausted eyes lit up briefly and she gave him a tight smile. 

“Great,” she said. “Hold her for me while I get the shot ready. And whatever you do, don’t let her lie down.” Her hands were shaking as she took the vial and hypos from him. He took the lead rope and tried to encourage the mare to take a couple of steps toward him. She just rolled her eyes and pulled against the halter. Cassidy took the cap off the needle with her teeth, plunged it into the vial and pulled out a dose of medication. She spat the cap out and shoved the vial into her pocket along with the extra hypos. She pressed the plunger enough to get rid of any air bubbles and walked up to the mare’s neck.

“Come on, Mama,” she said soothingly. “This is gonna make you feel a lot better.” She rubbed the mare’s neck, found a good spot and stuck the needle in. The mare’s skin rippled but she didn’t flinch. Cassidy pressed the plunger quickly and smoothly, sending the painkiller into the mare’s system. “Atta girl,” she said, shoving the now empty hypo into her back pocket. She took the lead rope back from Javi and gave a little tug. “Now let’s keep walking, Mama, you can do it.”

Javi stood back. “What can I do?” he asked.

“Get rid of that sharp in my back pocket,” Cassidy said, “and then walk behind her, to keep her moving.” He carefully plucked the used needle out of her pocket and laid it on a shelf near the door, then walked toward the mare’s rump. 

“Come on, get up, there,” he said, waving his arms a little. He knew the mare could see him behind her. “Let’s go, Mama.”

Reluctantly, the little mare took a few steps, then lowered her head and plodded alongside Cassidy as she led her down the aisle, outside and around the side of the barn. “Do we need a vet?” Javi asked carefully.

“No,” Cassidy replied. “Not yet. Hopefully the Banamine will help with the pain and I can get her to walk it off.” She looked back at him over her shoulder. “I gave her some oil earlier, so if we can just keep her on her feet and get her guts moving again, she’ll be fine.”

They walked two circuits in silence. The mare seemed a bit calmer. Cassidy hadn’t even had a chance to name her; they’d been calling her Mama and the younger mare Baby Girl while Cassidy got to know their personalities. They had proven to be barely halter broken and had both panicked at the sight of a saddle blanket. Despite being housed together in the extra large stall, Mama had begun to pace nervously at night. Cassidy had said thought this might be the first time either of them had been inside a barn.

Javi felt useless, but he didn’t want to leave Cassidy alone. He followed her and the mare as they slowly walked through the barn and around the side, over and over again. Finally, he ventured a question. “When do we know if she’ll be okay?”

“When she poops,” Cassidy said wearily. “Colic means the guts aren’t working right. Either there’s a gas pocket or some kind of obstruction or, God forbid, a twist in the intestine. For whatever reason, things aren’t moving through like they usually do, and the horse gets a stomach ache.” She sighed. “That’s why we’ve got to keep her moving. If she gets down and rolls, she could twist her gut.”

_Like Blue_ , Javi thought, knowing the same thought was going through Cassidy’s mind. No wonder she was so upset. 

“And when do we know we need the vet?” Javi asked quietly.

Cassidy stopped the mare for a moment and laid her hand on the horse’s sweaty neck. “When I can’t keep her on her feet, or if she starts showing signs of more intense pain,” she said. “I’ll know.” Her lower lip quivered and she turned away abruptly. 

*****************************************************  
Under other circumstances, Cassidy would have called the vet out already, but she simply couldn’t afford a vet bill right now, so she was relying on what she knew any good vet would tell her to do: keep the mare moving, offer her water, try a dose of mineral oil to grease the way, and above all, don’t let her roll. With luck, she’d pass whatever was obstructing her guts and things would settle down. Without luck, she’d die.

There was no way of knowing what had caused the colic. Cassidy knew nothing about the environment the two little mares had come from. It could be sand colic, or stress, or a change from range grass to hay, or even just a switch from one type of hay to another or her not liking the taste of the water from Cassidy’s well causing her to get dehydrated. Or maybe the moon was in the wrong phase. Horses could colic for any number of odd reasons.

Javi followed behind as she led the mare around and around. She thought about telling him to go home and back to bed, but his presence was comforting and if things went wrong, she didn’t want to be alone. If it came down to it, she’d call in the vet and figure out how to pay the bill later, but for now, there wasn’t much a doctor could do that she wasn’t already doing.

Suddenly, Mama let out a groan and dropped to her knees, slowly lowering herself to the ground. Cassidy tugged at the lead rope. “Come on, girl, get up!”

Javi came up behind the mare and smacked her on the rump. “Hey, there, get up, come on!” It was no use. The little mare lay in the dirt just outside the barn door and tried to roll, but she was weak. Javi looked up, his eyes panicked.

“Yeah, we need the vet,” Cassidy conceded. “Can you run inside and call? The number’s in the address book next to the phone. Dr. Hamblin.”

While Javi went into the house, Cassidy dropped to her knees next to the mare. “I’m sorry, girl,” she whispered. “I tried. But I won’t give up. We’ll do everything we can for you.” She stroked the sweat matted neck and smoothed the tangled forelock out of the mare’s eyes.

Javi ran back out and knelt beside her. “He’ll be here as soon as he can,” he said. “I told him she went down.” He laid a hand on the mare’s shoulder and frowned. “Is it bad?”

Cassidy couldn’t look at him, but she nodded. “Yeah,” she said quietly. “But there’s still a good chance, now that the vet’s coming.” She had to choke back tears. 

Javi put his arm around her. “She’ll be okay,” he whispered, pulling her close. “It’ll be okay.”

“I know,” Cassidy gulped. “It’s just … I can’t really afford this right now,” she mumbled.

Javi’s arm tightened. “Don’t worry about the vet bill,” he said. “I can cover it.” She opened her mouth to protest, but he laid a finger against her lips. “You can pay me back later. Whenever you can. So don’t even think about the money. Just think about getting this little girl back on her feet and feeling better.”

Now Cassidy did let the tears fall. “It could be expensive, if she needs surgery,” she stammered. “I don’t know … how far you’re willing to go.”

“As far as we have to, as long as there’s a chance to save her,” Javi said firmly. “I couldn’t save those kids in Colombia but maybe I can save this horse.”

Cassidy leaned into him. In that moment, she realized that she loved him, absolutely and without reservations. _How in the world did I get so lucky_? she wondered. What had she done to deserve a man with a heart as big as Javier Pena’s? She had no idea how much money he had, but he was unemployed at the moment, and he wasn’t getting unemployment benefits or a pension, since he’d quit far too early in his career. How was he going to afford the vet bill, and how would she ever manage to pay him back?

*********************************************  
When the veterinarian arrived, Javi backed off. He went into the barn to soothe the other horses, especially Baby Girl, who was very agitated. “It’ll be okay,” he said softly. He tried to pet the young mare, but she wouldn’t stay still, her nostrils flaring as she sniffed the air for any hint of her mother. Buster stretched his neck out over his stall door, trying to get Javi’s attention, and eventually, he left Baby Girl and went to rub Buster’s forehead. The gelding leaned against him, bumping his nose gently against Javi’s chest. “Yeah, I know,” Javi said. 

“Javi!” Cassidy called out.

“Yeah,” he said, dashing outside. The vet had given Mama another shot and was preparing something that involved a long tube and a gallon jug. 

“Help me get her up,” Cassidy said. “He’s going to tube her, try to flush things out.”

Mama groaned as Javi shoved at her rump, while Cassidy tugged on her halter. Finally, she staggered to her feet and Javi just knew she was mentally cussing them out. The vet threaded the tube into the mare’s nostril.

“What’s he doing?” Javi asked. “I thought it was a stomach issue.”

Cassidy nodded. “He’s going through the nostril and then down the esophagus. Then he’ll pour the mixture down the tube and it’ll go into her stomach and then into the guts. He’s trying to push things through.”

“And if this doesn’t work?”

The vet wrestled the gallon jug into place atop the funnel he’d attached to the end of the tube. “Then we cut her open and hope it’s nothing that can’t be repaired,” he said with a grunt. He was a tall, broad shouldered man with silver hair and calm blue eyes. “I’m guessing it’s sand colic, and if this doesn’t get things moving, I might have to clear out some sand by hand.”

Cassidy was pale, but her face was stoic as she held onto the lead rope and halter, keeping Mama’s head steady as Dr. Hamblin poured liquid into the tube. The mare’s eyes were dull and Javi wondered if she was simply exhausted or if she’d been given a sedative.

“There,” Hamblin said, finishing the jug. He tossed it aside, along with the funnel. After a moment, she started to pull the tube out of the mare’s nostril. “Now we wait. See if you can walk her a bit.”

Cassidy tugged on the lead rope and the mare reluctantly walked forward, her steps a bit unsteady. Hamblin picked up the detritus of his treatment and carried the empty containers to his truck, where he tossed them into the bed. He walked back over to stand next to Javi.

“What do you think? Honestly?” Javi asked quietly.

Hamblin sighed. “I think we’ve got a fifty fifty chance this works,” he said. “But I don’t think there’s any torsion in the intestines, so even if I have to open her up, the odds are good.” 

“Do what you have to do,” Javi said. “Whatever it costs. I don’t want her to lose this horse.” He clenched and unclenched his hands, itching to do something but unable to do more than simply wait.

“You’re paying?” Hamblin asked, his voice so low Javi could hardly hear it.

“Yeah,” Javi replied.

Hambln nodded. “Okay.” He hesitated a moment. “Cassidy still has a balance with my office. I know she’ll pay up when she can, but …”

Javi held up his hand. “I’ll take care of that, too.” he said. He turned and looked the man in the eye. “Don’t tell her. I’ll come by your office tomorrow and pay it all.” 

Hamblin nodded again. “She’s doing good work with these horses,” he said. “I want to help her out, but I don’t own the practice so I can only do so much.”

Cassidy stopped the mare, who had lifted her tail. “I think … keep your fingers crossed,” Cassidy said.

With a sound that was a cross between a sigh and a moan, Mama pushed out a thick chunk of manure. “Poop!” Hamblin said with a grin. He stepped forward to inspect it. “Sand. Just like I suspected. Keep her walking and let’s make sure she passes a bit more before I pack up and leave. But I think she’ll be okay once she gets that out. And make sure she eats out of a hay net or rack, not off the ground.”

******************************************************  
Mama pooped some more and seemed to be feeling better, so the vet left and Cassidy put the mare back into her stall, where Baby Girl rushed over to inspect her. After a quick greeting, Mama found the deepest spot in the shavings and settled down to rest. She didn’t try to roll, and soon she was dozing comfortably, curled up like a deer, with Baby Girl standing watch over her.

Javi slipped his arm around Cassidy’s shoulders and she leaned into him. She was absolutely exhausted. “Let’s get you to bed,” Javi murmured in her ear. “You look ready to drop.”

“I should keep an eye on her for awhile,” she protested.

“I’ll stay with her for a bit,” Javi suggested. “But you need rest as much as she does. Come on.” He led her out of the barn and into the house. Linus was perched on the kitchen counter, where he’d been watching the goings on through the window. 

“He’s not supposed to be up there,” she muttered.

Javi nodded. “I’ll shoo him off and give him a stern talking to,” he said. He steered her toward the bedroom, sat her on the bed and helped her remove her boots and jeans. He slipped his hands under her shirt and unfastened her bra, then helped her pull it off through the arm holes of her tee shirt. When she was clad only in her underwear and shirt, he pulled back the covers and tucked her in. He kissed her forehead. “I’ll take care of Linus and the horses,” he said. “You get some sleep.”

She wanted to protest, but the bed was soft and she was physically and mentally shattered. She nodded against the pillow, and closed her eyes. She heard him leave the room and she lay in the stillness, waiting for sleep to come. She must have dozed off, because the next thing she knew, the sun was peeking through the curtains and Javi was beside her in the bed, his strong arm draped over her body.

“Go back to sleep,” he muttered. “I fed everyone and Mama looks fine. Just sleep, hermosa.” He kissed her behind the ear and she snuggled back against his chest. She felt safe and protected. It was nice to relinquish control to someone else, even for just a few hours. She still had to figure out how to pay him back for the vet bill, but that was a problem for the future. Right now, she would just sleep, cradled in her lover’s arms. And that was enough.


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Javi and Cassidy have a fight ... but make up afterward.
> 
> Chapter warnings: language, references to sex

Cassidy was pissed off. She came storming out of the barn the moment Javi’s truck rolled to a stop. He barely had time to open the door and step out of the cab before she was in his face.

“Why the hell did you pay off my account at the vet’s?” she demanded.

“I told you I would take care of it,” Javi said carefully. 

“The bill for the colic,” she said, her teeth clenched. “I never asked you to pay off my balance, too. I was working on that.”

Javi shrugged. “I figured I might as well pay it all while I was there, start you off fresh,” he said.

“Well, you figured wrong,” she spat. “I still owe _you_ , you jackass.” 

“Don’t worry about it, hermosa,” he said, trying to soothe her. “Pay me whenever you can. It’s fine.”

“No, it’s not!” she yelled. She turned away from him. “It’s not fine, because now I owe you and … it’s just different.”

“Cassidy,” he said hesitantly. “I don’t see it like that. I just wanted to help you out.”

She whirled around, her hands clenched and her face pale. “Do you know how hard I’ve worked to not need anyone?” she said. “To not have to rely on my parents, or a boyfriend, or, or _anyone_?” Her face crumpled as she began to cry. “I don’t need anybody’s help. I don’t.”

“Everyone needs help now and then,” Javi said. He wasn’t sure if he should put his arms around her or not. She might collapse into his embrace and cry it out, or she might punch him and run away. “It’s a loan. Or maybe an investment.”

“In what? In me?” she said fiercely. “I don’t belong to you. I don’t belong to anyone!”

He shook his head. “I didn’t say that,” he said. “Of course you don’t belong to anyone. I meant an investment in what you’re doing, in the horses. Dr. Hamblin said you’re doing good work with them. I want to help you do that. For their sake.”

“I’ll pay you back every penny,” she said firmly, but her face wasn’t as hard. “Maybe someday, I’ll need a partner -- a _business_ partner -- and it’ll be different, but for now, it’s just me. Okay?”

“Okay,” he said with a nod. “And next time, I’ll ask before I try to help you.” He knew what it was like to want to do something by yourself, but he’d learned a long time ago there was no shame in asking for help if you needed it. 

“Now, get out of here,” Cassidy said, wiping the tears off her face. “I don’t need any help today. Go do something for your dad. Or whatever you do when you aren’t here.” She folded her arms. “Are you even looking for a job?”

“Whoa, whoa, where did that come from?” he replied. “Has my dad been talking to you?” Chucho had let him stay with him on the condition that Javi send out resumes and start looking for a new job. So he’d typed up a resume and made copies at the stationery store in town, but it had been a while since he’d mailed out the first batch to a handful of law enforcement agencies.

“He mentioned that your job search had stalled,” she said, avoiding his eyes. 

Javi sighed. “I’m happy here,” he said. “I don’t know why he’s in such a rush to get rid of me.”

“He’s not trying to get rid of you,” Cassidy said. “He just wants you to be able to support yourself. You’re a grown man, Javi; you can’t just move into your dad’s house and live off your savings forever.” She took a step toward him. “I know you’re having fun, but you’re not a cowboy, Javi. You’re not a horseman. You’re … well, you’re not a DEA agent anymore, but you have a set of skills, a _mind_ , that are going to waste here. I told you once that I like to help horses find their purpose. Some horses want to race, others want to work cattle, others want to jump or learn dressage or pull carriages. Some horses just want to stand around in a pasture all day, but most of them need a job, even if it’s just to hang out with a little girl and go on trail rides and get their manes and tails braided.”

She stepped closer and laid her hand on his cheek. “You’re not a pasture ornament, Javi,” she said. “Just like I couldn’t be the pretty thing hanging on Travis’ arm, or the housewife my mom wanted me to be. We have our purposes in life and we have to pursue them.”

“And what if I find a job that’s not here in Laredo?” Javi said, his voice suddenly hoarse. 

“Then you go for it,” Cassidy said. “If it’s what you want to do, you do it. Don’t let me or your dad be an excuse to hide from your life.” She patted his cheek and smiled sadly. “I don’t have any illusions that this is going to last forever, Javi. I’m a realist. But that doesn’t mean we can’t enjoy it while it lasts.”

She walked away and Javi stood by the truck, the cab door still open. He didn’t want to be so pragmatic; he wanted to believe in a fairy tale happily ever after. Just because it wasn’t likely didn’t mean he couldn’t still want it with every fiber of his being. Even if deep down in his heart he knew she was right. He couldn’t stay in Laredo forever. Which meant he’d have to say goodbye to her, sooner or later.

**************************************************  
Cassidy knew she was as mad at herself as she was at Javi. Mad because she needed his financial help, mad because she was head over heels in love with him and knew it wouldn’t last. It couldn’t last, because they were too different. His future lay in an office in some city, while hers lay here, in the dirt and dust of a ranch. Still, it wasn’t his fault and she’d been too harsh on him.

When he arrived the next day, acting like nothing was different, she was grateful. They worked quietly with the horses all day, and when they were done, she opened a beer for him and they sat on the back porch, watching the swallows swoop through the growing shadows, filling up on insects before they returned to their nests for the night.

“I’m sorry,” she said.

“About what,” Javi said, tilting his bottle to drink the last drops of beer at the bottom.

“About yesterday,” Cassidy went on. She sat her half-finished beer down. “I was mad at myself and took it out on you. Let me make it up to you. Stay tonight. I don’t have anything special for dinner but you can have me for dessert.”

Javi carefully placed his empty beer bottle on the floor. “How about we go out for dinner?” he asked. “I really should have asked you before I paid off that vet bill. It’s Taco Tuesday at Miguel’s Cantina. Fifty cent tacos and two dollar margaritas.” He raised his eyebrows at her and she had to laugh. 

“Yeah, okay, that sounds great,” she said. “Just let me clean up a bit. I smell like a horse.”

Javi leaned over and buried his face in the crook of her neck. “Smells great to me,” he said, his lips tickling her skin. She shoved him off. 

“You think so, because you stink, too,” she said. “But I don’t want to offend a restaurant full of people, even if it’s just a taco joint.”

They had a good time, eating their fill of tacos and drinking watered down margaritas. A few people stopped by their table to chat, friends or relatives of Javi’s who expressed surprise at seeing him out and about on a weeknight. When Javi offhandedly introduced her as “my girlfriend,” Cassidy tried her best not to grin like an idiot.

On the drive back to her place, Javi rested his hand on her thigh when he didn’t need it to change gears, and when he parked the truck he asked, “You still want me to stay the night?”

“Of course,” she replied. “I promised you dessert, didn’t I?”

They stumbled into the house and into the bedroom. “Did you mean it?” she said against his lips as he helped her get undressed.

“Mean what?” he asked as he unbuttoned her jeans and started to slide them over her hips.

“When you called me your girlfriend at the restaurant,” she replied, her own fingers working to unfasten his jeans.

“Of course,” he said. “I haven’t even looked at another woman since we’ve started dating.”

“I love you,” she said before she could stop herself.

Javi stopped, his fingers hooked in the waistband of her panties. “I love you, too,” he said after a long moment. Then he kissed her deeply and they fell into bed.

***************************************************************  
Javi was glad they’d finally said it, and even gladder that he hadn’t blurted it out when he was balls deep in her like he almost had several times now. Somehow telling a woman you loved her while you were in the middle of fucking her didn’t seem very romantic. Now, as he lay in bed, waiting for her to come back from checking on the horses, he wondered if maybe this could work out. Maybe he could find a job here in Laredo; it didn’t have to be in law enforcement. Anything would do, if it meant he could stay here, in Cassidy’s bed.

She came back into the bedroom, removed the jeans and shirt she’d slipped into to go outside, and snuggled up against him, laying her head on his chest. “Everyone okay?” he asked.

“Yeah,” she said. “All snug in their stalls.” 

He rolled onto his side to face her and kissed her. “Good night, hermosa,” he said.

“It was a good night, wasn’t it?” she said, ending the sentence with a yawn.

“Yeah, yeah, it was,” Javi said. “Sleep well.” He felt her nod against his shoulder and then she relaxed in his arms as she drifted off to sleep.


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Javi gets a job offer ... in San Antonio. 
> 
> Chapter warnings: language

The red light was blinking on the answering machine when they walked in. Chucho threw down his hat and sank into his favorite armchair. “See what that is, _mijo_ ,” he said wearily. They’d been out riding fence all day.

Javi pressed the playback button and an unfamiliar voice came from the tiny speaker. “Hi, this is Greg Montauk with the San Antonio Police Department. I’m calling for Mr. Javier Pena. I spoke with a colleague of yours, a Mr. Steve Murphy, at a conference in New Orleans last week, and I think you’d be a great candidate for a position we’ve got opening up. We’re doing interviews next week, so if you’re available, please give me a call back. My number is …” Javi’s finger hovered over the “delete” button.

“Press it and I’ll whoop your ass until you can’t sit for a week,” Chucho growled. “You’re calling him back.”

“Dad …”

Chucho grabbed the pen he kept on his side table to work the Sunday crossword puzzle and tossed it at Javi. “Write down the number and you’re calling him back first thing tomorrow,” he said. “It’s just an interview. No commitment.” He stared into Javi’s eyes until Javi had to look away.

“All right, all right,” he said, pressing the playback button so he could listen to the message again and write down the details. “Think you were trying to get rid of me or something.”

“Well, maybe I want my guest room back,” Chucho said. “I thought you might move in with Cassidy, but that’s not happening, is it?”

Javi scribbled the name and phone number onto a scrap of paper and then turned to his father. “I told you, we’re not ready for that yet,” he said quietly. “And if you’re so damned set on me and Cassidy setting up house together, why are you pushing me to take an interview for a job out of town?”

Chucho scoffed. “San Antonio is only a couple of hours away. It’s not like it’s Dallas or Chicago or DC or _Colombia_. I’d still get to see you.”

“But I’d be in San Antonio and Cassidy would be here,” Javi muttered. “Not like we could keep the horses in an apartment.”

“You’ll work it out,” Chucho said. “If you’re meant to be together, it’ll be okay.”

“And what if we aren’t?” Javi blurted out. “What if it doesn’t work out?”

“Then we get drunk on tequila and we move on,” Chucho said bluntly. “You can’t stay here in Laredo forever, _mijo_. You left before because you outgrew this place. If you stay, you’ll be stunting yourself. I don’t know what happened in Colombia, but Cassidy does, and she told me you needed some time, so I’ve given it to you. But you need to move on, Javi. Before you start to resent me, and Cassidy, for holding you back.”

“You know what? I’m tired. I’m going to bed,” Javi said. He felt his jaw clenching at his father’s words. He knew he was right, but it was too much to deal with right now.

“It’s barely seven o’clock,” Chucho replied. “What about dinner?”

“I’m not hungry,” Javi called out as he stalked to his bedroom. He shut the door and leaned against it, his eyes closed. _God damn you, Steve Murphy, why’d you have to run into a guy with a job in San Antonio and give him my name_? He shoved himself away from the door and sat on the bed. 

_It’s just an interview_ , he told himself. _Like Dad said, no commitment. I drive up there, do the interview, odds are they won’t even want me. Or I won’t want the job, or the interviewer will be a jackass, or_ … He sighed. _Or it’ll be the perfect job for me and they’ll love me and I’ll have to make the hardest decision in my life_. The worst part was, he knew what Cassidy would tell him to do. Even if it broke her heart.

*************************************  
Cassidy watched Buster prick his ears at the steer. Javi sat lightly in the saddle, the reins loose, waiting. The steer got nervous and started to move to the side. Buster tracked it and swiveled in place, keeping the cow in his sights. 

“Oh, yeah,” Cassidy said to herself. She knew Buster didn’t like racing, or jumping, but he was bored in the riding arena and while he was relaxed enough on trails, he was constantly on alert. When they’d taken a ride through Chucho’s ranch the other day, however, Buster had been extremely interested in the cattle and so Cassidy had borrowed a young steer to test his cow sense. 

“What do you think?” Javi said as he rode Buster over to the fence. The gelding was obedient, but kept an ear cocked toward the steer, which was on the other side of the arena, nervously looking for the rest of the herd.

“I think he’s a cow horse,” Cassidy said. “He took to that like a duck to water. He won’t need much training.”

Javi shook his head. “Never thought a Thoroughbred would want to work cattle,” he said. “Dad said only Quarter Horses have cow sense.”

“Lots of Quarter Horses have Thoroughbred bloodlines,” Cassidy said. “Most of the ones bred to race are half Thoroughbred or more.” She reached out and stroked Buster’s face. “Heck, one of the fiercest cutting horses I ever saw was a tiny little Arabian mare who wasn’t much bigger than that steer. Breeding doesn’t matter, it’s the horse’s mind and heart that count.”

“You’ll be able to get a good price for him,” Javi said. “Good cow horses are in demand around here.”

Cassidy traced a finger along the top rail of the fence. “I’m not selling him,” she said quietly.

“What?” Javi slid down from the saddle and leaned on the rail. “You’ve put a lot of time and money into him.”

She sighed. “I’m not selling him,” she repeated firmly. “Because he’s not mine.” She looked up at Javi. “He’s yours.”

“What?” Javi said again, a deep furrow between his brows. “I don’t understand.”

“You’ve put more hours into him than I have,” she said. “And he’s bonded with you. I can see that. He belongs with you.”

Javi hooked a finger through the cheekpiece of Buster’s bridle and turned the gelding’s head toward him. Buster pressed his forehead against Javi’s chest and gave a deep sigh. “I think he agrees,” Cassidy said.

Javi looked at her, his eyes dark and unreadable. “In that case, I should start paying for his keep, don’t you think?,” he said quietly. “What does it cost to board a horse these days?”

“You don’t need to do that,” she said. “Just take him home to your dad’s place. He wants to work cattle and you’ve got plenty.”

Javi shuffled his feet. “You know, maybe it’s best if you do sell him,” he mumbled.

“Why? What’s going on, Javi?” She felt a chill run down her spine. He’d been acting odd the last week or so and now this.

“Remember when I went to San Antonio a few days ago?”

“Yeah.”

“I lied to you,” he said. “I didn’t go to meet a friend for lunch while he was in town. I had a job interview.” Her heart dropped. “They called this morning. I’ve got the job if I want it.”

“And do you want it?”

He shook his head. “I don’t know. I … I told him I’d call back this afternoon with my answer.” He pushed Buster gently out of the way and laid one hand on hers. “Can we talk about it?”

She shrugged. “Sure, but I don’t think there’s much to talk about. You either want the job or you don’t.”

He squeezed her hand. “I do want the job,” he said quietly, “but I don’t know if I want it bad enough to leave here. To leave you.”

She took a deep breath. “I told you not to let me keep you from doing what you’re meant to do,” she said. “Take me out of the equation. And then make your decision.” She slipped her hand out from under his. “We’ll go from there. And no matter what, Buster is your horse. Keep him here, take him to your dad’s, sell him yourself … it’s up to you.” She turned and walked toward the house, no longer sure she could keep her face dispassionate. She’d known this day would come, but had hoped it would take longer to arrive. 

**************************************************  
Javi untacked Buster, brushed him down, and put him away in his stall before he headed for the house. He wanted to give Cassidy some time alone to compose herself before he talked to her. He’d seen her struggling to keep herself calm, seen the anguish in her eyes that mirrored his own.

He walked into the kitchen, where Linus was sitting hopefully next to his dish. “Not now, buddy,” Javi told the cat, who simply blinked at him. He continued into the house, and found Cassidy in the bedroom, sorting clothes from the hamper into two laundry baskets.

“Can we talk?,” he asked.

She continued tossing clothes into the baskets for a moment, then stood, her hands hanging limply at her sides. “Sure,” she said.

They sat on the bed. Javi took her hand. “It’s a brand new position at San Antonio PD,” he began. “A liaison between the PD and the juvenile courts, to set up and run an anti-drug program to keep vulnerable kids off drugs and out of jail.” He rubbed the palm of her hand with his thumb. “I’d be helping kids, Cassidy. Keeping them out of trouble, keeping them from getting shot or locked up.” He sighed. 

“So you’re going,” she said.

“I want to,” he admitted. “But I don’t want to leave you. Dad says it’s only a couple of hours away, I can come home on weekends, I’ll see you both all the time, but …” He shook his head. “I don’t know if it’ll be enough. For you, I mean. I’ll be busy with work during the week, I’ll be okay, for the most part.”

“I don’t know,” she said. “Honestly, I don’t know. I’d like to think we can make it work, but I know how life gets in the way.” She leaned against his side and laid her head on his shoulder. “I know that a week will come when the weather’s bad, or you’ve had a long week, or your co-workers invite you out for drinks, or you have to work overtime, and you won’t be able to drive home. And then another week will pass and another and you’ll come back maybe once a month. And then you’ll meet someone up there, and you’ll be lonely and …”

Javi laid a finger against her lips. “Or maybe I’ll drive home every single weekend, no matter what, because I want to see you,” he said softly. “Maybe I’ll call you every night, just to hear your voice before I fall asleep. Maybe we’ll make it work.”

She sighed, her whole body shuddering against his. “I can’t go with you,” she said. “I have the horses.”

“I know,” he replied. “I wouldn’t ask you to. I know this is where you belong.” He kissed her temple. “But I love you. I’m not ready to give up on us just because I won’t be living next door anymore.”

“I love you, too,” she whispered. “But I don’t know if love is enough. I want to think it is, but I … I just don’t know.” 

Javi put his arms around her, and let her cry against his shoulder. He rocked her gently back and forth until she stopped weeping. She sat up, and wiped her eyes with the back of her hand. “You should go call him back,” she said, her voice raspy. “Tell him you’re taking the job.” She kissed his cheek. “I’ll be okay. I promise.”

Javi left, but he wasn’t sure she was telling the truth.

*************************************************  
Once Javi was gone, Cassidy abandoned her laundry. She went out to the barn, saddled up Cricket, and headed out for a long trail ride. Cricket was perfect company, ready to listen to her ramblings and not judge her. They wound through the brush, flushing out jackrabbits and even a deer down by the creek. Birds sang and fluttered around them, and by the time the sun was sinking into the western horizon, turning the pale blue summer sky to red and gold edged with fading purple, Cassidy’s heart felt lighter. She turned Cricket toward home and gave the mare her head. 

It was dusk when they got back to the barn. She unsaddled Cricket and gave her a good rub down, then fed everyone. Finally, she went back into the house. She fed Linus, but wasn’t hungry herself. She poured a glass of sweet tea and sat down on the couch.

The phone rang but she let the machine pick up. After the beep, she heard Javi’s voice. “Hey, I guess you’re still out in the barn. Um, I called Montauk back and accepted the position. I start a week from Monday. Dad and I are going up to San Antonio next week to find me an apartment. Let me know if you want to come with us. Or not. Okay, well, call me when you get in, or if it’s too late, call me in the morning. I love you.”

The message ended and Cassidy sat in the silence of her house, the only sound Linus’ ID tag clinking against his plate, and the unsteady rhythm of her own breathing as she once again fought back tears.


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Javi moves to San Antonio.
> 
> Chapter warnings: language, reference to sex

Cassidy declined going to San Antonio with Javi and Chucho to look for an apartment. As they drove north, Chucho stared out the window. “She’s not happy, is she?,” he said after a while.

“No, she’s not,” Javi said. He changed lanes, then glanced over at his father. “She says she’s fine, but I know she’s not.”

Chucho shifted in his seat. “It’s hard,” he said. “For what it’s worth, I think you made the right choice.”

Javi huffed. “Then why does it feel like I’m making a huge mistake?”

“Because you feel guilty,” Chucho said. “Even though she told you to take the job, and says she’s okay with it, you know she’s hurting and you don’t like that.”

Javi sighed. “I’m hurting, too,” he admitted. “I’m excited about the job, but being so far away … I’ve never done a long distance relationship before. Hell, I’ve barely done a real relationship before.”

Chucho laid a hand on Javi’s shoulder. “You’ll do fine, son,” he said. “You two are good for each other. Between Cassidy and that horse … to be honest, I was worried about you when you first came home. Thought I’d go into your room one morning and find you dead. But she brought you back to me. I warned her not to fall for you when I first met her, but I’m glad she ignored my advice.”

“So am I,” Javi admitted.

***************************************************  
Javi had his bags packed. Cassidy knew this, because Chucho had called her, asking if she wanted to ride up to San Antonio with him to drop Javi off. Since the truck Javi had been driving was Chucho’s, and he wouldn’t need a pickup in the city, Javi was going to lease a car once he had moved. 

“I really can’t take a whole day off,” she’d told Chucho. “The horses …”

“Bullshit,” Chucho had said. “I can send Luis over to feed and muck for you if you need it. And it’s only about a two hour drive. We’ll be back well before dark. You really want to make me ride back by myself?”

She’d relented, only because Chucho had guilted her into it. If she’d had her choice, she would have said goodbye to Javi the night before and thrown herself into work to keep her mind off the fact that he was leaving. 

When the truck pulled up outside her house, she debated playing sick, but knew Chucho would see right through her. She checked that Linus’ water bowl was full and that he had sufficient dry food to make it until evening, then grabbed her purse and walked outside.

Javi was standing next to the passenger door, ready to help her into the cab. “You don’t have to do this if you don’t want to,” he said quietly.

“I know,” she said. “But I’m going to do it anyway.” She climbed into the truck, said good morning to Chucho and buckled herself in. Javi slid in next to her, fastened his own seat belt, and slammed the door. Chucho put the truck in reverse and they were on their way.

“You’d better talk to each other or this is going to be a long ride,” Chucho said once they were on the road. Neither of them spoke, which made Chucho sigh. “Well, if you won’t talk, I will. And I’ll start by telling the story about the time Javier …”

Javi cut him off. “All right, Dad,” he said. He tentatively slid his left arm around Cassidy’s shoulders and turned to her. “I’m glad you’re coming with us,” he said quietly. 

She leaned into him and laid her head on his shoulder. “I am, too,” she admitted. Now that the three of them were crammed into the truck, she felt oddly at home, like this was where she was meant to be. “I’m sorry I’ve been such a bitch the last few days,” she went on. “I really am happy for you, Javi.”

He pulled her a little closer and kissed her temple. “I know you are, honey,” he said. 

“Now that’s better,” Chucho said with a chuckle. “But no making out, okay? Remember, I’m right here.”

************************************************  
The ride to San Antonio wasn’t as awkward as he’d thought it would be. Once Chucho had teased them into talking to each other, Cassidy had snuggled up under Javi’s arm and the three of them had conversed easily while Chucho drove. As they pulled up in front of the apartment building, though, Javi felt her tense up. He pressed a kiss against her temple. “It’s okay,” he whispered. She smiled weakly and squeezed his knee.

They climbed out of the cab, stiff from the long drive. Chucho started to unfasten the bungee cords that held Javi’s luggage and boxes snugly in the truck bed. “Go on up and unlock the door,” he said. “Cassidy and I will start bringing up the luggage.”

Javi nodded and fished the keys out of his jeans pocket. The building manager had given them to him when he signed the lease earlier in the week. It wasn’t a fancy apartment, but he hadn’t had much time to look, and it was clean and in a safe building. He climbed the stairs to the second floor and unlocked the door to his new home.

The place came furnished, which was another selling point for Javi. He didn’t have time or the inclination to shop for furniture and he really didn’t care what the decor looked like, as long as things were serviceable, clean, and mostly comfortable. A brown couch, a wooden coffee table and matching TV stand filled the living area. Plain white mini blinds covered the windows. It matched Javi’s mood: bland and slightly depressing.

***************************************************  
It didn’t take long to unpack Javi’s things. He didn’t have much: a suitcase full of clothes, a few boxes of dishes and utensils culled from Chucho’s kitchen, another box with new bedclothes and some towels, and a few other odds and ends. While Javi and Cassidy were busy unpacking, Chucho ran to a nearby fast food restaurant for hamburgers and greasy fries, which they ate sitting around the tiny kitchen table.

“You need to borrow the truck for a grocery run or anything?” Chucho asked as he was mopping up ketchup with the last of his fries.

“No,” Javi said. “Montauk’s coming by tomorrow to drive me to his wife’s cousin’s car dealership so I can lease a car. I’ll stop by the grocery store on the way home and probably hit Walmart for a microwave and anything else I need on Sunday.” He sat his half eaten burger down and took a drink of his soda.

“Well, then,” Chucho said. “I’ll be heading out after lunch.” He pointed at Cassidy. “I’ll pick you up on Sunday, okay?”

She choked on her Pepsi. “Wait, what? I’m going home with you. I have horses to feed.”

Chucho shook his head. “Luis is taking care of that. You stay here with Javi and help him settle in.”

“But … Linus!” she said. 

“The cat?” Chucho shrugged. “Luis will take care of him, too. I even promised him twenty bucks if he’d scoop the litter box for you.” He chuckled.

“Linus is inside the house. He can’t get in,” Cassidy replied. She was confused and conflicted. She’d steeled herself to say goodbye and drive home with Chucho today.

“Javi made me a copy of his spare key,” Chucho said. “In case of emergencies. Don’t worry, _mija_ , your animals will be fine. You just take care of my boy.” He patted her shoulder and stood to throw his trash away.

Javi just sat there, clearly as confused as she was. “She doesn’t have any clothes,” he said, “or anything.”

Chucho raised an eyebrow. “Nobody but you is going to know she’s wearing the same clothes two days in a row,” he said. “And I’m pretty certain she’s not going to need pajamas.” He winked. “You have soap and shampoo and toothpaste and towels, so she can shower and brush her teeth.” He produced a brand new toothbrush from his pocket with a flourish. “You don’t even have to share Javi’s toothbrush,” he said, giving it to her. “Although, you let him stick his tongue in your mouth, so I don’t see how sharing a toothbrush would be any less hygienic.”

Cassidy simply shook her head at him as she took the toothbrush. “You’ve thought of everything, haven’t you?”

Chucuo bowed. “Yes, which is why you two are going to listen to me and stop being so awkward with each other.” He motioned for Cassidy to walk with him as he headed for the door. “Listen to me, sweetheart,” he said quietly. “I know you’re nervous about doing the long distance thing, but trust me. Once he’s had you in that bed, he won’t be able to go to sleep at night or wake up in the morning without thinking of you. Make some memories, and give him something to remember, something to make him want to make that drive back to Laredo as often as he can.”

She looked down, suddenly embarrassed. “Did you just tell me to fuck the hell out of your son?” she asked.

“Damn right,” Chucho said. He winked at her. He raised his voice. “I’m leaving, son. Take good care of my girl, okay? I’ll see you on Sunday.” 

Cassidy closed and locked the door behind him, then turned back to Javi. “Can you believe him?”

Javi smiled. “Yes,” he said. “His methods may be unorthodox, but he usually knows what he’s doing.” He waved her back to the table. “Come on, finish your lunch. Then we’ll go mess up that bed we just finished making.”

******************************************************  
Cassidy leaned back against the headboard. The covers were haphazardly covering her lap and Javi was sitting beside her, having just come back from having a smoke on the balcony. He was wearing only his jeans, which he hadn’t bothered to fasten. He stubbed the cigarette out in the ashtray on the nightstand and turned to her. He traced delicate patterns on her stomach and hip with the other hand, his touch sending shivers through her even though he’d already wrung two orgasms out of her and she was feeling pleasantly sleepy and content.

“Stop that,” she said lazily, half-heartedly pushing his hand away.

“Why?” he grunted. “You seem to like it.” He nodded at her breasts, where her nipples had hardened. 

“Because if you wear me out now, I won’t be able to fuck you later,” she said simply. He sighed and stood up, sliding his jeans off and kicking them away. He tumbled onto the bed, neatly rolling over her to land on the other side of the bed, where he sat up against the headboard as well and put his arm around her.

“In that case,” he murmured in her ear, “let’s take a little nap so we can get back to business later.” 

She laid her head on his shoulder and turned so she was partly facing him. She laid her hand on his chest, feeling his heart thudding under his breastbone. “Do you really think we can do this?” she asked.

“Do what? Make love again tonight?” he teased.

She smacked his chest and shook her head. “Dumbass,” she said. Then she sighed. “I mean us. Long distance.”

Javi shifted so that she was more securely in his arms. “Yes, I do,” he said without hesitation. “I love you, Cassidy. You know that. I’ll be home almost every weekend and we can talk on the phone in the evenings.” He kissed her forehead. “And it won’t be forever.”

“What if it is?” She couldn’t shake the feeling that they were only postponing the inevitable, and that it would be less painful to end things now than later.

“It won’t be,” Javi said firmly. “Maybe I can talk Laredo PD into doing something similar, once the program here is off the ground. Or maybe we'll find a property closer to San Antonio where you can keep the horses. You do know that if it wasn’t for the horses, I’d have asked you to move with me, right?”

She nodded. “And if it wasn’t for the horses, I’d have said yes,” she said softly. “My mother thinks I’m an idiot. She told me to sell my place, or at least rent it out, move the horses to your dad’s ranch and move in with you. Which is rich coming from a woman whose first opinion of you was that you were ‘that unemployed Mexican’ I was spending too much time hanging out with.”

“I’d never ask you to do that,” Javi said. “Not when we’ve only known each other a few months.” He stroked her hair, playing with the ends with his fingertips. “It’s a big step.”

“Thank you,” she said, reaching up to trace her fingers over his mustache. “I appreciate it.” She snuggled closer, running her feet back and forth under the covers, reveling in the feeling of fresh sheets against her bare skin. It was so easy to forget about the bills piling up at home, the discouraging prognosis about Nugget’s tendon she’d gotten from the vet, the fact that in just a few days there would be a hundred miles or more between her and the amazing man she was currently sharing a bed with. She yawned.

“Take a nap, hermosa,” Javi said quietly. “I’ll still be here when you wake up.”

_For now_ , she thought as she let herself drift off. _For now_.


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cassidy helps Javi settle into his new apartment.
> 
> Chapter warnings: language, explicit sex

When Cassidy woke up, Javi called for a pizza. He got dressed but Cassidy simply pulled on the t-shirt he’d been wearing earlier in the day. It was long enough to cover her ass, but just barely, and as she walked around the apartment, he kept getting glimpses of things he really didn’t want a stranger to see. “Promise me you’ll go back in the bedroom when the pizza guy gets here,” he said.

She laughed and sprawled out on the couch, the shirt riding up to show her bare hip. “Afraid I’ll embarrass you?,” she asked.

“Afraid he’ll try to fight me for you,” Javi replied. He pointed at her. “No one gets to see that but me.”

She laughed again, but when the doorbell rang, she disappeared into the bedroom. Javi paid for the pizza and tipped the delivery boy well, since he was in a good mood. He called Cassidy back out while he sat the pizza on the table and pulled a couple of beers out of the fridge. Chucho’s housewarming present had been a six-pack of Javi’s favorite brew.

He was hungry, but it was hard to concentrate on his pizza with Cassidy sitting across from him wearing only his discarded shirt. Her hair was loose and disheveled in an extremely sexy way.

“What?,” she said, her mouth full of pepperoni.

“You just look hot,” he said, taking a sip of beer.

She looked puzzled. “I didn’t know eating pizza with bed head was a sexy look,” she said.

“Well, most people couldn’t pull it off, but you do,” Javi conceded. 

Cassidy sat her slice of pizza down on a napkin and slid out of her seat. She straddled his lap and kissed him. “Kind of a weird compliment, but I’ll take it,” she said before she kissed him again. She ground herself against his crotch and he grunted as his jeans grew tight. “You know, your dad said I should make sure you always think of me when you get into bed at night,” she went on. “Maybe I should make sure you think of me when you sit at the table, too.”

Javi laughed against her lips. “Finish your pizza first,” he growled. “And go get a condom before you start anything.”

She rolled her hips against him one last time before sliding off his lap and going back to her seat. She maintained eye contact with him while she ate her pizza in an exaggerated manner, licking her lips and biting at the lower one while fluttering her eyelashes at him. It was all Javi could do not to burst out laughing, and he almost choked on his beer when she wiped the corner of her mouth with her thumb in a comically seductive way.

“Too much?” she asked before she succumbed to a fit of giggles.

When she’d finished her pizza, she sashayed into the bedroom and came back with a condom packet, which she tossed on the table in front of him. Javi took his time finishing his slice of pizza, just to mess with her. She sat patiently until he deliberately patted his lips with a napkin and sat back with a small sigh. “Do with me what you will,” he said.

She grinned and climbed back onto his lap. He put his hands on her hips to keep her steady as she kissed him deeply. “Thank goodness I didn’t get onions on the pizza,” Javi murmured when she came up for breath.

“Shut up,” Cassidy said with a laugh. She kissed him again, one hand dipping down to unfasten his jeans. She took her time, teasing him with her fingers and her tongue, until he was squirming.

“Get up,” he said. She stood up and he wiggled his jeans down to his ankles. He hadn’t bothered to put on shorts and as soon as his pants were past his hips, his dick sprang up, ready for action. 

Cassidy chuckled deep in her throat and picked up the condom packet. As she resettled herself in his lap, she tore the foil and pulled out the condom. Once she’d unrolled it over his shaft, she carefully positioned herself and then slid slowly down on him, taking him inch by inch until her hips were flush with his.

Javi cupped one hand under her ass so hold her in place and placed the other at the back of her head so he could pull her close and kiss her senseless. She moved slowly against him, a slow roll of her hips that drove him mad. “You’re a terrible tease,” he muttered in her ear before he nibbled on the lobe.

“Maybe I want to keep you inside me as long as possible,” she breathed back. Still, she started moving faster and soon Javi had to put both hands on her hips to keep her firmly on his lap as they rocked back and forth in the chair, which began to creak alarmingly as their pace quickened.

“If we break this chair and I lose my security deposit …,” Javi gasped. Cassidy just laughed and laid her mouth over his, kissing him so hard he lost the ability to speak for a moment. Then he lost all control and thrust into her harder and harder until he came with a shudder and a groan.

“You good?” he managed to get out once he’d come down from his high. Cassidy was still grinding against him.

“Almost there,” she muttered. He slid one hand down between them and it didn’t take long for her to clench around him, her head thrown back as she moaned his name. When she slumped against his chest, he carefully lifted her off his dick and peeled off the condom, which he tossed onto the table with the rest of the trash.

“Yeah, I’ll definitely never forget that,” Javi whispered in her ear.

**********************************************************************************  
Cassidy lay awake, listening to Javi snoring softly beside her. After her nap that afternoon, she wasn’t all that tired, and her mind was too busy racing to let her relax anyway. She might have gone overboard with the sex, but it had been easier to fuck Javi than talk to him. They had one more day and one more night together and then she would be on her way back to Laredo and despite all of Javi’s promises she couldn’t shake the feeling that this was the end of their relationship. 

She wasn’t naive. Once Javi started his new job, he would have work projects and colleagues to fill his days and thoughts. He would meet his neighbors, find new favorite restaurants and hangouts, maybe flirt a little with the clerk at the grocery store out of boredom. And the drive to Laredo would seem longer and longer, and less and less rewarding as time went by, until he stopped coming altogether except for holidays when he felt obligated to visit his father.

It was possible that things would work out, that he would faithfully drive home each week, that the bond between them would only strengthen, not break, with distance, but she wasn’t going to hold her breath. _Just enjoy this weekend_ , she told herself. _Pretend it’s real. Pretend this is your life_. But she knew that soon enough, she’d be back in Laredo, shoveling manure and repairing tack that was hanging by a thread and checking her bank balance to make sure she could afford hay for the month. It was her life, the life she’d chosen, and she’d never begrudged a moment or a penny spent on her horses, but it was hard having to choose between her passion and her love for Javi.

She sighed and curled up against Javi, her head on his shoulder. He stirred slightly but didn’t wake. She lay quietly, breathing in his scent, waiting for sleep to claim her, if it wanted to. If not, she’d just enjoy being here beside him.

********************************************************************  
Javi walked to the donut shop a block away for coffee and some crullers for breakfast. It was a nice neighborhood, with healthy trees growing at intervals along the sidewalk and birds chirping among the leaves. The guy at the donut shop had thrown in a bonus cake donut when he found out Javi had just moved in, and the coffee smelled freshly brewed.

Cassidy looked tired as she sipped her coffee and nibbled at a cruller, but Javi felt pretty good. He’d slept quite well after the exertions of the afternoon and evening before. “You can stay here while I go to get the car if you want,” he suggested as she suppressed yet another yawn.

“No, I’ll go with you,” she said. “I want to spend as much time with you as possible.” She smiled and kicked his ankle gently. The toe of her boot slid under the hem of his jeans and rubbed at his shin.

Montauk called around nine-thirty and by the time Javi had taken out the trash and Cassidy had wiped the cruller crumbs off the table, there was a knock at the door.

“Good morning!,” Montauk said heartily as Javi opened the door. “Ready to go?” He was a stout, balding redhead with the flushed complexion of a fair-skinned man doomed to live somewhere that got incredibly hot in the summer. He caught sight of Cassidy. “Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t realize you had company. Is this not a good time?”

“This is my girlfriend, Cassidy,” Javi said. He felt the familiar surge of warmth throughout his body he got every time he said those words. “She’s helping me get settled in.”

“Well, nice to meet you, Cassidy,” Montauk said, holding out his hand to shake hers. “Are you moving up here, too?”

“No, I have a small ranch in Laredo,” Cassidy said brightly. “Right next to Javi’s dad’s place.” Her voice was chipper, but Javi could see a shadow in her eyes. She was taking this harder than she was letting on.

They followed Montauk down to his car and he drove them to the car dealership on the other side of the city. He introduced them to the salesman and went on his way. After a few hours of mind-numbing paperwork, Javi emerged with a three year lease on a modest blue Ford Escort. It wasn’t fancy, but it would get him to work and back and was comfortable enough for the drive back and forth to Laredo.

Afterward, he and Cassidy had lunch at a little cafe not far from the dealership and then stopped at the grocery store closest to his apartment building to stock up on essentials, like coffee and bread and whiskey. At the register, Javi added a carton of cigarettes, which made Cassidy shake her head. She was trying her best to get him to quit, or at least cut back, but after the years in Colombia, it was a hard habit to break, especially when he was under stress. And he was going to be dealing with a lot of stress in the weeks ahead.

Back at the apartment, they put the groceries away and Cassidy sat down at the table with a writing tablet. “Okay, you’ve got food, but you still need appliances,” she said. “Coffee maker, microwave. Those are essential. How about a TV?” 

Javi shook his head as he sat down across from her. “That can wait,” he said. “But definitely the coffee maker and microwave. Those are my main cooking tools.” He laughed. “I can live without television easily, but without coffee? No way in hell.”

They brainstormed a list of things he would buy at Walmart the next day, as well as a list of other things he could purchase as time and budget allowed. It was cozy in a way, doing something as bland and domestic as drawing up a shopping list, and Javi wished that Cassidy wasn’t going back to Laredo in the morning. He’d told her he’d never ask her to leave her horses, and he knew it was the right thing to do, but he still selfishly wished she’d choose him over everything else.

“At least get yourself a little radio or something,” Cassidy said as she tore the list free from the writing tablet. “This place is awfully quiet. Especially if you’re going to be here alone.” She smiled tightly.

Javi took the list from her and folded it neatly. “Good idea,” he said. “So, what do you want to do tonight? We’ve got leftover pizza to eat, but it’s Saturday night. Want to go to a movie or something?”

“No, let’s stay in,” Cassidy said. She traced a lazy circle on the tabletop with her finger. “I might have gotten a bit carried away yesterday,” she said carefully. “I think maybe tonight we should talk. Really talk.” She looked up at him and her eyes were sober.

“Okay,” Javi said quietly. “I’d like that.” He was nervous about what she might say, but he knew they couldn’t avoid it forever.

*****************************************************************  
Cassidy stood in the shower, letting the hot water cascade through her hair and down her back. It had been an intense evening, as she’d opened up to Javi and told him all her fears about the way ahead. He’d admitted his own misgivings but in the end, he’d convinced her that what they had was worth fighting for. They’d talked through every tiny detail of making a long distance relationship work. He would call her at least twice a week, probably after nine o’clock when the long distance rates dropped, and drive down to Laredo every Friday night after work unless the weather was too bad or he was sick or he absolutely had to work over the weekend. 

He’d also insisted that since she was keeping Buster at her place, and that he was Javi’s horse, he would pay boarding fees and all the other expenses Buster accrued. Cassidy hadn’t wanted to ask, but she was grateful he’d offered. It was only two hundred dollars a month, plus any vet bills, but every little bit helped. She could breathe a little easier, knowing that Javi’d be giving her a check every month.

She shut off the water and stepped out of the tub, wrapping a towel around hair and another around her body. Her underwear and bra were hanging off the end of the curtain rod. She’d rinsed them out in the sink, not willing to wear them three days in a row without being cleaned. She made a note to remind Chucho that if he wanted to spring another dirty weekend on them, he needed to give her at least enough warning to pack a change of clothes.

She left the bathroom and walked to the bedroom. Javi had already taken his shower and was in bed, sitting propped up against the headboard, flipping through the phone book. “What are you doing?” she asked as she removed the towel from her hair and squeezed as much water out as she could. Without a blow dryer, she’d have to wait for her hair to air dry and that could take forever.

“Just looking for a bookstore,” he said. “Until I buy a television, I’ll need something to keep me entertained in the evenings, if I don’t have work.” He closed the phone book and tossed it onto the shelf at the bottom of the nightstand. “Looks like there’s one at the mall.” He shuddered. “I’ll brave that one evening after work. Don’t think I can handle a mall on a Sunday afternoon.”

Cassidy laughed at the image of her grumpy Javi trying to maneuver through the hordes of teeneagers in a mall. “Aw, maybe there’s a library you can go to instead,” she said, tossing the damp towel into the hamper just inside the bedroom door. “I didn’t peg you for a reader.” She pulled off the other towel and slid into bed beside him.

Javi shrugged. “Normally I don’t have time,” he said. “But I read.” He narrowed his eyes at her. “Don’t tell anyone, but I really like those cozy British mysteries, like Agatha Christie. Everything is so neat and tidy, not like real life.”

She booped the tip of his nose. “Your secret is safe with me,” she said. “I’m partial to fantasy stories, myself. Total escape from reality, plus sometimes there are horses.”

He kissed her nose. “Someday we’ll have a fireplace,” he said. “And we can sit in front of it all snuggled up in a blanket, reading our books and sharing the good parts.”

“You mean the parts that we think are especially well-written, or do you mean the smutty parts?” she teased.

“Either,” he said. “But I think the smutty parts would lead to us putting the books down and doing something else under that blanket.” He slid down in the bed so he was lying facing her. 

She slid down to match him, her wet hair making a damp patch on the pillow. “I could handle that,” she said quietly. He kissed her and she forgot all about her hair and books and the fact she was leaving in the morning. All she knew was Javi’s arms and hands and lips, until she fell asleep in his embrace, sated in every possible way. Her heart was full, her mind was calm and her body was satisfied. 

**************************************************************  
Chucho called at eight the next morning, to let them know he was getting ready to leave. That meant they had only a couple of hours left before they had to say goodbye. Cassidy scrambled some eggs, adding cheese and some onions and peppers. Javi ran down to the donut shop for coffee and by the time he came back, she had two plates piled with fluffy eggs and buttered toast waiting.

They ate breakfast quietly, washed the dishes and then wandered aimlessly around the apartment while they waited. Far too soon, there was a heavy knock at the door and there was Chucho, with a box of odds and ends he thought Javi might need, including a small stack of paperback books. “They were in that little bookcase in your bedroom,” he explained. “Wasn’t sure if you’d already read them or not.” Cassidy took a glance. _The Murder at the Vicarage, Appointment with Death_ , and _The Moving Finger_ were prominent titles. She suppressed a smile as Javi grumpily took the books from his father.

“Thanks,” he said curtly. 

Chucho clapped his hands. “Well, let me use the bathroom and we can head out,” he said. “If we get back in time, Tia Jacinta is making chile verde for her granddaughter’s ballet recital.” He chuckled. “I got out of the recital because I had to drive up here, but we can still get some of the food.” He winked and headed into the bathroom.

“So, this is it,” Cassidy said, her hands suddenly trembling. 

“Call me when you get home,” Javi said, laying his hands on her arms, holding her steady. “And I’ll call you Tuesday night, let you know how things are going at work, and what time you can expect me on Friday.” He kissed her forehead. “I love you, hermosa.”

“I love you, too,” she replied, pressing her forehead against his. “The week should go fast for you, with work and everything.”

“Yeah,” Javi said, clearly trying to stay upbeat and not quite achieving it. “It’ll fly by and I’ll be home before you know it.” He squeezed her shoulders tightly. “I’ll be thinking of you every day, Cassidy.”

“I know,” she said with a sigh. “It’ll be okay.”

Chucho came out of the bathroom. “No tearful goodbyes,” he said firmly. “You’ll see each other in less than a week, and you’re only a phone call away. Now, come on, _mija_ , let’s go so I can get some of that chile verde!”

She gave Javi one last kiss and followed Chucho down to his truck. As she buckled herself into the passenger seat, Chucho leaned over and kissed her on the cheek. “It’s going to be okay,” he said. “You’ll see.” He fastened his own seatbelt, put the truck in gear and backed out of his parking space. Cassidy took one last glance back at the apartment building, and then they headed home.


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Javi comes home for the weekend. Domestic fluff ensues.
> 
> Chapter warnings: language

Javi was exhausted, but in a good way. His first week at work was almost over and it had gone well. There had been far too many meetings for his taste, but that was to be expected when setting up a brand new department. His assistant, Monica, was amazing. A licensed psychologist, she had been working freelance with the police department for over a year, and was enthusiastic about creating programs to help the tweens and teens who would be the focus of their work. 

“Rob wants to know if you want to come over for dinner this weekend,” Monica said, as she dropped another bulging file folder on his desk. Rob was her husband, a tax attorney who worked from home in order to keep an eye on their two kids.

“Can’t,” Javi said, stretching his arms over his head. “I’m driving home to Laredo right after work.”

Monica grinned. “Oh, yeah, that’s right, got to go see your _girlfriend_ ,” she said, drawing out the vowels in the last word like a middle schooler teasing a classmate. She sat on the corner of his desk. “I remember those days. When Rob and I were first dating, I couldn’t get enough of him. Now, who cares?” 

Javi rolled his eyes. He’d met Rob and the kids at lunch on Wednesday and it was clear that even after seven years of marriage and two children, Monica and her husband were very much in love. “You care and you know it,” he said. 

“Yeah, I do,” she admitted. She pushed off from the desk and stood up. “In case I don’t see you before you head out, have a great weekend.”

“You, too,” Javi said, already flipping open the folder to see what was inside.

At five, he shut off his computer and stacked the folders and papers neatly on his desk. His overnight bag was already in the car, so he didn’t need to stop at the apartment. After a quick detour to the men’s room, he hopped in the car and headed out.

Traffic heading out of town was heavy but once he’d cleared the city limits, the drive wasn’t bad. Still, it was well after seven by the time he turned off the road into Cassidy’s driveway. At this time of the year it was still light, but getting dusky. His headlights swept across the side of the barn as he pulled up next to the house. There was a light on in the barn and one in the kitchen. He decided to try the house first.

Linus was sitting on the kitchen counter as he walked in, which told Javi that Cassidy wasn’t in the house. “Hey, buddy,” he said to the cat. “You’d better get down before Cass sees you.” Linus just blinked at him.

Javi dropped his bag in the bedroom, used the bathroom, and headed out to the barn. 

***********************************************  
Cassidy knew Javi had arrived because Buster’s ear pricked up and the gelding started to snort. “Is your daddy home?,” she asked. She tried to rub Buster’s forehead but he tossed his head, trying to look over her at the open barn doors. Even though she wanted to run outside and throw herself into Javi’s arms, Cassidy made herself continue with her barn chores. She was almost done tucking everyone in for the night and if she finished up before she went to Javi, she could go with a clear conscience.

As she was double checking the latches on the stall doors (Baby Girl had proven extremely adept with her lips and had let herself and Mama out more than once), Buster let out a piercing whinny. “I missed you, too, buddy,” she heard Javi say.

She turned around and there he was, walking toward Buster’s stall, looking both utterly out of place in his suit and tie and utterly at home. He rubbed the gelding’s forehead and Buster pressed his head against Javi’s shirt, trying to return the favor.

“Someone missed his daddy,” Cassidy managed to say as she walked toward him. 

Javi chuckled. He disentangled himself from the horse and stepped toward her, arms open wide. “I’ll bet you missed me, too,” he said, his voice low. “I know I missed you, hermosa.”

She fell into his arms, his embrace firm but tender. He smelled like cigarette smoke and laundry soap and some kind of woodsy cologne. She took a deep breath, letting his scent mingle with the warm perfume of horses and hay that permeated the barn. It smelled like home.

“I did miss you,” she said, her voice muffled against his chest. Reluctantly, she pulled back to look at his face. “Are you hungry? I wasn’t sure what time you’d get here, so I didn’t start dinner. Your dad brought over some nice steaks, but if you’re starving, I can make you a sandwich or something.”

Javi smiled and stroked her hair. “I had some snacks in the car,” he said. “I’m good for now. And a steak sounds amazing.” He kissed her forehead and then turned to Buster. “I’ll see you in the morning, buddy. I promise.” The gelding snorted, his neck stretched out as far as it could over the stall door. He whinnied again as they left the barn, a pitiful sound that lingered on the air as Cassidy bolted the barn doors.

Javi took her hand as they walked toward the house, entwining his fingers with hers. It felt innocent, like they were kids on a first date, not lovers heading inside for dinner and a night of passion. _Well, maybe not passion_ , she thought as she stole a glance at Javi’s face. He looked tired and more in need of a good night’s sleep than a tumble in the sheets.

“Long week?,” she asked.

He squeezed her hand. “Yeah,” he admitted. “A shit load of work and way too many meetings.” He sighed. “But we can talk about that later. Right now, let’s get those steaks going. The sooner we eat, the sooner we can get to bed.” He winked and she shook her head at him.

“You’re going to conk out before your head hits the pillow and you know it,” she said gently. She opened the back door and saw a grey streak as Linus leaped down from the counter and dashed out of the kitchen. “I saw that,” she threatened. “Damn cat thinks he owns the place.”

***********************************************  
The steaks were delicious and after they’d eaten, Javi felt comfortably full and relaxed. He loosened his tie and stretched out on the couch while Cassidy took a shower. He’d told her she smelled just fine to him, but she insisted she was dusty and covered in horse slobber. By the time she came out, wearing a tank top and baggy sleep shorts, he was half asleep.

“Come to bed,” she said, tugging at his hand. He scrubbed at his face, embarrassed that he’d dozed off. “To sleep,” she clarified. “You’re worn out.”

He let her lead him into the bedroom, where he stripped off his clothes and fell into bed. She slipped in next to him and snuggled close. “Sorry,” he mumbled. “I know you were probably hoping for something more exciting.”

“This is nice, too,” she said. “I’m just glad you’re here.”

“Me, too,” he said, stifling a yawn. “Me, too.”

When the alarm went off in the morning, he was momentarily confused. “Go back to sleep,” Cassidy said. “I’ve got to go feed but you don’t need to get up. I’ll be back.”

He meant to get up, he really did, but the bed was warm and comfortable. The next thing he knew, the smell of coffee and bacon was wafting through the air and Linus was standing on his chest, staring at him while purring loudly. He heard a noise and turned his head to see Cassidy leaning against the doorway, a cup of coffee in her hands. “Morning, sleepyhead,” she said. 

Javi sat up, unceremoniously dumping the cat onto the bedspread. Linus gave an indignant meow and stalked away, the tip of his tail twitching. “What time is it?”

“Eight thirty,” Cassidy said. She handed him the coffee. “You looked so peaceful, I couldn’t bear to wake you. But I got hungry so I fixed breakfast. Bacon and eggs, if you’re interested.”

He was. He gulped down half the coffee, took a quick shower and got dressed, then joined her in the kitchen. “I thought we could take a ride this morning, if you want,” she said as he shoveled food into his mouth. “Buster could use the exercise.”

“Sounds good,” he said. “I think Dad wants us to go over for dinner and a movie tonight, if that’s okay.”

She nodded. Javi sipped at his second cup of coffee. It felt so … domestic, discussing their plans for the day over breakfast. Linus wound between their ankles, hoping for a bite of bacon. Through the window, he could see Buster dozing in the morning sun out in his pen, while Mama and Baby Girl groomed each other in the arena. Cricket was rolling at the other end of the arena, a plume of dust rising above her as she scratched her back against the dirt. _I could get used to this_ , Javi mused. _If only San Antonio wasn’t so far away_ …

*****************************************  
Cassidy had been a little worried that things would be awkward between her and Javi, but the day was amazing. After breakfast, she’d packed a few sandwiches and they’d headed out for a long trail ride. Buster was thrilled to be reunited with Javi, and even more thrilled to get out of the arena. They rode for hours, stopping at a little spot where the creek spread out into a limpid pool ringed with trees. The horses stood in the water, cooling their hooves and drinking deeply, while she and Javi made out while reclining against the trunk of a particularly large willow. 

The bark dug into her back through the thin fabric of her tank top, but she didn’t mind. Javi kissed her slowly and gently until his stomach growled and ended the romantic vibe. He laughed. “Guess it’s time for lunch.”

They ate their sandwiches and then swung back into the saddle. Cassidy was curious to try a new trail that she thought would loop back to her property, but she had prudently waited until she had company before trying it. It did lead to her property line, but via a rather steep gully and a stretch of uneven, rocky ground that was no problem for nimble little Cricket, but proved a little too much for Buster. By the time they got back to the barn, the gelding was breathing hard and dripping with sweat. Javi wasn’t much better.

“I think my ass is one big bruise,” he complained as he slid out of his saddle. 

“Aww, poor baby,” Cassidy teased. “I can slap some liniment on it for you.” Javi just rolled his eyes.

They untacked the horses and gave them a bath. Buster shook like a dog after Javi had rinsed the soap off him, soaking Javi from head to toe. He just shrugged. “Well, at least I won’t need a shower tonight.”

They puttered around the barn until it was time to head over to Chucho’s for dinner. He’d made his speciality — chili con carne — and had rented a romantic comedy and an action film. “Wasn’t sure what you’d be in the mood for,” he explained, as they settled around the table. 

“Anything’s fine with me,” Cassidy said. She was happy just to be sitting in Chucho’s kitchen, with a cold beer and a hot bowl of chili in front of her, and Javi beside her.

After dinner, they curled up on the couch to watch a Rambo-wannabe lead an assault on some Nazis or Communists or something; Cassidy wasn’t really sure what was going on, but Chucho and Javi seemed to be enjoying it. She relaxed against Javi’s chest and played with his fingers, content just to be there. 

When the movie was over, they drove back to her house, checked on the horses, and retired to the bedroom. Unlike the frenzied, almost desperate sex of the weekend before, now they took their time, making love slowly and carefully before drifting off to sleep wrapped in each other’s arms. Her last conscious thought was, _This is gonna work. We’re really going to make this work_.


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cassidy and Javi each have a very bad day. Lots of angst. 
> 
> Chapter warnings: language; references to drug overdose, death, and infidelity

Cassidy stared at the box. She’d picked it up three times already, but couldn’t bring herself to open it just yet. _You’re being stupid_ , she chided herself. _Opening it isn’t going to make it more or less real_. She sighed, tore open the end of the box and slid out the tightly folded instructions. She read them carefully, then tilted the box so that the test stick fell into her hand. 

She’d taken pregnancy tests before. Once in college after she’d already broken up with the jerk who had told her he was still in love with his high school girlfriend and couldn’t he just date them both until he was sure which one he wanted. And once again when she was still with Travis. Both times, she’d been about a week and a half late and both tests were negative, fortunately. Now, she was more than two weeks late, but she hadn’t had time to get out and buy a test. Nugget was limping again and had needed some careful bandaging, and Baby Girl had developed a nasty abscess in one of her hooves. 

The fact that Javi hadn’t been home in two weeks didn’t help. He was swamped at work, and was not only working late every day, but putting in several hours on the weekends, rushing to complete a proposal for the county on top of his other duties. She understood, but it was still hard. Things had started out so well, but as he settled into his job, he’d started arriving later and later on Friday nights, working in the office until six or seven before he headed for Laredo. Finally, she’d told him to just drive up on Saturday morning if he needed to work late. It wasn’t as if he was doing more than just fall into bed when he arrived anyway. He might as well get a good night’s sleep at his apartment and then drive down.

It had been two months since he’d come down on Friday night, and he’d missed several weekends altogether, including the last two. He apologized profusely when he did come home, and lavished her with attention, but it still put a strain on their relationship. Logically, Cassidy knew he was doing everything he could, but she still felt jealous of the way his job was taking him away from her.

She took a deep breath, went into the bathroom and peed on the stick. The directions said she needed to wait twenty minutes before the results would appear, so she laid the stick on the counter next to the sink, firmly closed the door to keep Linus from investigating and knocking it into the trash can, and went into the kitchen to set the timer.

She busied herself scrubbing the sink and counter, something she’d been putting off for too long. It was mindless but physically demanding enough to distract her (mostly) from listening for the timer. When it did ding, she jumped.

Linus was lying on the hallway floor in front of the bathroom door. He meowed loudly at her. Like most cats, he was mortally offended by a closed door and as soon as she opened it, he walked away, satisfied that his duty was done. Cassidy stepped inside and picked up the test stick. There was a single pink line in the results window: negative.

She’d expected a sense of relief at the result but instead she was overwhelmed by disappointment. She sank heavily onto the closed toilet seat, staring at the test in her hands. _You’re not pregnant_ , she told herself. _You’re supposed to be happy_. But she wasn’t. As she started to sob quietly, she realized she’d wanted to be carrying Javi’s baby. She wanted a future with him, a life, a family. The idea of a tiny life growing inside her, one she’d created with Javi, was something she desperately wanted to come true.

 _Maybe Mom was right_ , she mused. _Maybe it’s time to give up this silly dream of being a horse trainer and doing everything by myself. Maybe I need to stop taking so much and start giving_. It wasn’t fair that Javier was the only one sacrificing to make their relationship work. He was the one who drove four hours a week just to see her, the one who was working full time and trying to maintain two lives, one in San Antonio and one here in Laredo. She hadn’t given up a damn thing and she was upset because he couldn’t make it down every single weekend. _You selfish little bitch_ , she chided herself. _Time to cowgirl up and take some responsibility, time to make a few sacrifices before you screw things up and lose him_.

She sat in the bathroom, her face in her hands, as she pondered her options. Honestly, her mother’s idea of renting out her place, moving the horses to Chucho’s and living in San Antonio with Javi was the best idea. The horses would be well taken care of, and she could drive to visit them whenever she wanted. The income from renting the ranch would cover most, if not all, of her mortgage payments, and she might even be able to make a tiny profit. She could even get a job in San Antonio, start building up a nest egg in case she and Javi did start a family.

The more she thought about, the more sense it made. She glanced at her watch. It was almost five o’clock. Javi would still be at work. She’d have to wait at least a half an hour before she could call him at home, and even then, he might not be there yet if he had to work late. This wasn’t something she wanted to tell him in a message on his answering machine, but now that she’d decided, she didn’t want to give herself a chance to talk herself out of it. If she fed the horses a little early, she could drive up to San Antonio, get there before eight o’clock and have plenty of time to talk to Javi and still drive home before it got too late. For that matter, she could always call Chucho from Javi’s place and ask if Luis could feed in the morning, while she spent the night with Javi. She smiled. 

“Can you hold down the fort, Linus?” she asked the cat as she hurried through the house on her way to the barn. Linus simply blinked at her. He was a cat and cats always had everything under control. 

***************************************************************************************  
As she drove, Cassidy let herself daydream about what the future might hold. By the time she’d reached the outskirts of San Antonio, she’d envisioned a white-washed ranch house with a picket fence and a swingset in the backyard, a brand new barn in the backyard. She and Javi were married, with two kids, and a couple of dogs as well as Linus, who dozed in a bay window surveying his new kingdom. _Might as well put yourself in the June Cleaver dress and pearls baking cookies_ , she told herself, but it was fun to imagine the domestic bliss that seemed attainable for the first time in her life.

When she reached Javi’s neighborhood, she started getting nervous. Whether it was fear or excitement, it was disconcerting. This was the right thing to do, she knew it, so why this flutter in her guts? She pulled into the parking lot of the apartment complex and turned off the truck. She could see Javi’s balcony and his lights were on, which meant he was home. In fact, as her eyes adjusted to the dim light, she could see him leaning on the balcony railing, smoke drifting from the cigarette in his hand. _Must have had a rough day_ , she mused. _Well, I’ll surprise him and make it a lot better_. 

She was just about to open the door and step out of the truck when she saw a shadow behind Javi. Someone was in his apartment. The sliding door was open and a woman stepped through it, the light from inside clearly illuminating her long, dark hair and curvy figure. Javi turned toward her and she handed him a drink. Javi took it and the woman laid a hand on his shoulder, rubbing gently, and led him back inside.

Cassidy felt her entire body go cold. If Javi was having a rough day, it was clear he already had someone ready and willing to help him forget it. She thought she was going to be sick. Here she’d been, spinning fairy tales in her head, getting upset about a negative pregnancy test, while Javi was cheating on her. She wondered how many of those late nights at work had really been work, how many of those weekends he’d missed had been spent with this woman. This was what she’d been afraid of when he accepted the job, but he’d assured her things would be fine. She’d thought he was different, but he was just as much of an asshole as every other man she’d ever dated. Travis may have hit her, but at least he hadn’t cheated on her.

 _I need to get out of this parking lot before Javi looks out and sees my truck_ , she realized with a jolt. Her hands were shaking as she started the engine and backed out of the parking space. Her vision was obscured by tears but she drove nonetheless, making her way carefully back to the highway that would take her home to Laredo and her broken dreams. She reached her house a little after ten o’clock and absentmindedly fed Linus a second dinner before she fell onto the bed fully clothed and cried herself to sleep.

************************************************************************  
It had been a shitty day. An officer had been shot overnight, so the entire police department was shrouded in a somber cloud. He would be fine, but it was still unsettling to have someone injured in the line of duty. Javi kept idly rubbing at the spot on his left arm where the bullet had grazed him during that ill-fated raid back in Colombia.

Then that afternoon, Monica had discovered during a routine checkup call that one of the boys in their new program, Andre, had died of an overdose. It shook Javi to the core. Andre had been the one kid he’d thought would make it out of the drug culture. Smart, funny, and charismatic, he could have made it in any career he chose. He was in a drama class at school and had high grades in math and English. And yet, he’d fallen in with some of the other kids on his block, wasting weekends smoking weed. Javi thought they’d knocked some sense into his head before he tried the harder stuff, but apparently Andre was a better actor than any of them realized.

“Crack,” Monica had said with a shake of her head. “He’d starting smoking it and one of his crew convinced him to shoot up. They misjudged the dose and freaked out when he OD’d. They ran and his mother didn’t find out until this morning when the cops found the body in an abandoned house the crew had been using as a hangout. Thank goodness the officer on that beat makes it a habit to check on the abandoned properties in that area every day. He could have lain there for days otherwise.”

Javi knew she was upset, but she’d been doing this longer than he had and his stomach churned all day as he gulped coffee and chomped on nicotine gum. He really was trying to quit, for Cassidy’s sake, but it wasn’t the same as smoking and he found himself sneaking a cigarette or two at night. At work, though, all he had was the gum. He skipped lunch, trying to focus on a report he was assembling for the city council, but it was hard to keep his mind on work after the news about Andre.

“Are you going to be okay?” Monica asked as she was getting ready to leave at the end of the day.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” he said. “Just going to get a bit more work done before I go home.”

She gave him a look that Javi had privately labeled the Mom Stare. “You are going home now,” she said firmly. “And you’re going to eat dinner. In fact, I’m going to call Rob and see if his mom can take the kids for a few hours. He and I will bring dinner to your house and you will sit and eat it.”

She disappeared into her office and came back a few minutes later. “Go on, pack up and get going,” she said. “Rob and I will be at your place in about an hour.”

Javi knew it was no use arguing with Monica. She treated him like a third child, much to Rob’s amusement. Javi was a few years older than both of them, but Rob loved to call him “son” and pat him on the head. Normally, Javi wouldn’t have stood for that sort of thing, but no one could stay mad at Rob for long. Besides, Monica would have torn him a new one if he’d upset her husband in any way.

He headed home, wondering if he had time to call Cassidy before Monica and Rob showed up. He hadn’t talked to her yet this week, which was down to sheer laziness on his part. He’d been getting home late from work, and after fixing and eating dinner, he slumped on the couch in front of the little TV he’d finally bought and watched whatever drivel was on while sipping a glass of whiskey until his eyes drooped and he headed for bed. He decided to wait and call her tomorrow, when he’d have time for a long conversation.

Monica and Rob showed up with a bag of tacos and enough rice and beans to feed everyone in the building. “The kids love their rice and beans,” Monica explained, “so we’ll take them the leftovers. That’s lunch for the next couple of days.”

While she dished up portions on the plates Javi hastily pulled out of the cupboard, Rob opened two frosty beers and offered one to Javi. “It sucks, man,” he said, unusually somber. “I remember the first time Monica lost a client. It still hits her hard, but the first one’s always the worst.” He clinked the neck of his bottle against Javi’s and took a long drink. Javi merely took a sip. Beer and tacos were not enough to cheer him up.

After they ate, they sat on the couch, Monica in the middle, leaning against Rob’s shoulder. “It’s okay to be sad, Javi,” she said. “It’s okay to be angry, too. Cry, scream, throw something against the wall if you have to, but don’t suppress the emotions. I’m speaking both from experience and as a psychologist.” She leaned forward and laid her hand on his arm. “We’re here for you, Rob and me both.”

Suddenly, Javi needed a smoke. “Excuse me,” he stammered. He found his cigarettes and lighter on the coffee table and stepped outside on the balcony. Even though he was the only one living in the apartment, and smoking was allowed in the building, he always went out on the balcony to smoke. Just in case Cassidy ever came up for a visit, he didn’t want her to smell smoke on the curtains or furniture.

He lit a cigarette with trembling hands. He really needed to get a hold of himself. Monica and Rob meant well. They were wonderful friends and he would have been incredibly lonely without them, but in order to process his emotions, he needed to be alone. He leaned on the railing, and breathed out a plume of smoke. He wondered what Cassidy was doing right now, and what Andre’s mother was doing. He closed his eyes for a moment, overwhelmed with a feeling of compassion and love for the poor woman. He couldn’t imagine the depth of loss she was experiencing. 

He took a few more puffs of the cigarette before Monica stepped out with a glass of whiskey on the rocks in her hand. She laid her other hand on his shoulder, rubbing gently as if he was a baby that needed to be soothed. “Rob thought this might help,” she said, handing him the drink. 

Javi huffed. “Thanks,” he muttered as he followed her back inside. “Look, I really appreciate both of you taking the time to do this, but I’ll be fine,” he said. “Go home to your kids and just let me deal with this my way.” When Monica started to raise an eyebrow, he hastily added, “I won’t suppress my emotions, I just … need to be alone, okay?”

Monica nodded. “Okay, but call if you need anything,” she said. 

As Rob gathered the leftover rice and beans from the fridge, he nudged Javi. “Listen to mom, son,” he said. “She’s been through this shit before. She knows what she’s doing.”

Javi nodded. “Yeah, I know,” he said. “But I’ll be fine.”

They left and Javi sank back down on the couch, after fetching the whiskey bottle. It would probably take more than one glass to get him through the evening. He took a long sip and sat back, finally letting the tears fall from his eyes.

_Shit, Andre, if we couldn’t save you, why the fuck are we even trying?_


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cassidy breaks up with Javi and he throws himself into his work.
> 
> Chapter warnings: language

Cassidy woke late the next morning, Linus pawing at her face to tell her that his breakfast was late. She’d forgotten to switch on her alarm and it was nearly seven. She jumped up, shoved her feet into her boots and dumped a can of cat food into Linus’ dish before running out to the barn.

“Sorry, kids,” she said, as the horses all snorted at her. Even Cricket was impatient, kicking a hoof against the door of her stall. Cassidy tore open a bale of hay and started stuffing hay nets. Once she’d hung the fresh hay up in the stalls, she carefully measured out each horse’s grain and supplements. Cricket just got a few pellets to supplement her hay, since she was an easy keeper, but Buster and the mares needed to put on some weight, and they got pellets, grain and some supplements. Nugget was still on stall rest, so she fed him lightly, but he did get some grain mixed with his medications.

Once she’d hung the feed buckets in the stalls, she pulled, dumped, washed and refilled the water buckets. Only then did she head back to the house to pee and brush her teeth. As she entered the bathroom, she saw the pregnancy test sitting on the counter and the emotions of the night before came crashing down on her. She picked it up and threw it angrily into the trash can. She used the toilet, brushed her teeth and then decided to take a shower. She looked horrible. Her eyes were puffy from crying and her hair was a tangled mess. 

The shower revived her a bit, and she managed a cup of coffee and a slice of toast before her throat threatened to close up again. “What am I going to do?” she asked Linus, who was sitting in the chair beside her, very helpfully cleaning his back legs.

It was clear that it was over between her and Javi but how to end it? Should she confront him about the woman in his apartment? Or just break things off? One thing was certain, she did not want to see him again. It would be too painful, and there was always the chance she’d lose her nerve once she was face to face with him. She’d had many opportunities to leave Travis that she left untaken just because he’d given her that grin. She wouldn’t give Javi the chance.

She could wait until he called, probably that night or the next, but what if he didn’t call and just drove down on Friday night or Saturday morning, showing up unannounced? “I’ll call him,” she told Linus. “After I know he’s left for work. I’ll leave a message on his answering machine and that’ll be that.” Linus looked up from his grooming, the tip of his tongue poking out of his mouth, bright pink and ridiculous. Cassidy sighed. “Then I’ll just have to deal with Chucho, but he should be easy enough to avoid.”

**************************************************************************  
The next day was better, but Javi was still subdued as he went about his work. He would have worked through lunch again, except Monica forced him to walk to the deli down the street with her and a few other people. He ate half his roast beef sandwich and promised her he’d have the rest for dinner.

When he got home, he tossed the sandwich into the fridge and took off his jacket and tie. He flipped through the mail (all junk or bills, nothing interesting) and noticed the blinking red light on his answering machine. It was probably a telemarketer, trying to sell him insurance or a timeshare or some such nonsense. He pressed the play button, fully expecting to erase the message within the first few seconds.

“Hey, Javi, it’s Cassidy,” the tinny voice said. _The speaker on this machine is crap_ , Javi thought. _I need to get a better one_. “Um, I don’t really know how to say this other than to just say it. I … I can’t do this anymore. It’s over, Javi. It’s not working and I feel like you need to focus on your life there in San Antonio. And I need to focus on my life here. I’ve been letting too much slide and I’m sure you have too and … well, I just think it’s best we end it now before things get out of hand. Goodbye, Javi. And good luck.”

He was stunned. He’d thought things were going well. True, he’d missed the last two weekends, but he’d been swamped at work and Cassidy had seemed to understand. He picked up the phone and dialed her number. After five rings, her machine picked up.

“It’s Javi,” he said. “Cassidy, pick up if you’re there.” He paused for several seconds, then went on. “Okay, I guess you’re out in the barn. Call me when you get back in. Please, Cassidy. Let’s talk about this.”

He hung up and fetched a beer from the fridge. He drank it and opened another one. Halfway through the second beer, he pulled the sandwich out of the fridge and ate a few bites. Finally, he couldn’t stand it anymore and he called her again.

“Hey, Cassidy,” he said when the machine picked up. “Come on, baby, talk to me. I don’t know what happened. Did I do something? Did I not do something? Tell me how I can make things right. I don’t want to lose you, Cassidy. I love you. So, call me back. Please.”

He turned on the television and watched some ridiculous sitcoms until ten, when a police procedural came on. He switched channels to a medical drama. Still no call from Cassidy. Before he went to bed, he called one last time.

“Cassidy, sweetheart, please, please, call me back. I don’t want it to be over. We can make this work. I’ll make sure I get home every goddamned weekend, baby, I’ll call you every night. Whatever you need to know that I’m one hundred percent committed to this relationship.” He sighed. “Okay, it’s late, I’m going to bed. I’ll call you again when I get home tomorrow, if you don’t call me first. I love you, hermosa.”

He got undressed and crawled into bed, but sleep eluded him for hours as he wracked his brain trying to figure out what could have triggered Cassidy’s decision to end their relationship. It just didn’t make sense.

********************************************************************  
“You look like hell,” Monica said the next morning as soon as she saw him. “I know this thing with Andre is …”

He cut her off. “Cassidy broke up with me,” he said curtly as he dug in his desk drawer for a new pen. The one he’d been using kept skipping. 

“What?” Monica plopped down in the chair he kept in the corner. “No way.”

He nodded wearily. “Yes,” he said. “There was a message on my answering machine when I got home yesterday. I called her back several times, but she’s screening her calls or something. I left messages …” He closed his eyes. “Look, I appreciate your concern, but I have a shitload of work to do and I’m sure you do, too. If I need to talk, you’re the first person I’ll come to, I promise.”

Monica bit her lower lip, clearly wanting to say more, but respecting his wishes. “Okay,” she said after a moment. “But I’m making sure you take your lunch again today. Nobody starves on my watch, no matter how bad life gets.” She stood up and tilted her head. “I know this week has been a clusterfuck, Javi, but you’ll get through it.” She smiled at him and left, pulling his office door halfway closed, giving him at least a modicum of privacy.

Javi opened the file on his desk and stared at the page. It was going to be a very long day.

**********************************************************************  
There was another message on his answering machine when he got home. It was short and to the point. “Javier, please, stop calling. There’s nothing you can do. I’ve made my decision. It’s over between us. I’m sorry.”

The click at the end of her message had a finality about it that made Javi’s stomach clench. He took a few deep breaths and then dialed his father.

“She what?” Chucho shouted as soon as Javi had told him about Cassidy’s messages.

“She broke up with me,” Javi repeated. “Can you talk to her for me, Dad? She won’t pick up when I call and she asked me to stop calling. I don’t know what happened, but maybe she’ll tell you, or you can figure it out. I don’t know what to do, Dad.” He choked back a sob. He’d be damned if he’d cry in front of his father, even if it was over the phone.

“Of course,” Chucho said. “I’ll go over there tomorrow and ask her what the hell’s going on.” He snorted. “I’ll knock some sense into that girl’s head.”

“Don’t yell at her,” Javi pleaded. “Just … just talk to her, see if she’ll talk to me.” He sighed. “I knew she had misgivings about trying to make a long distance relationship work but I thought she was over it. I guess not.” He shook his head. “I’ll let you go, but thanks in advance for anything you can do.”

“You hang in there, _mijo_ ,” Chucho said. “I’ll try to fix this.”

******************************************************  
“No,” Cassidy said firmly. Chucho was in the barn aisle and she was inside the tack room, the half closed door making a sort of barrier between then. “I don’t have anything to say to him. I thought about things and I realized that it’s not going to work. End of story.” She hoped Chucho couldn’t tell that her voice was about to crack. She turned away to fiddle with the bridles that were already hanging neatly on their rack.

“Cassidy,” Chucho sighed. “I don’t know why you have such a crazy idea stuck in your head, but please, promise me you’ll at least consider talking to Javi. He’s broken hearted.”

_I’ll bet_ , she thought, unable to get the image of that woman leading him back inside his apartment out of her head. “If I change my mind, I certainly will call him,” she said, “but I don’t see that happening. I’m sorry, Chucho, but I can’t handle this long distance thing. And before you even think about it, I can’t move to San Antonio. I’m not a city girl and you know it.” She looked up at him. “Javi belongs in the city and I belong out here. Those are the facts. It sucks but it’s true.”

Chucho shook his head. “I still think you’re making a huge mistake, _mija_ , but it’s your decision. I’ll tell Javi what you said and he won’t bother you again. And neither will I.” He turned and walked out of the barn, his shoulders slumped.

It broke Cassidy’s heart to see how this had affected Chucho, but she wasn’t about to tell him the truth, that she’d caught his son cheating on her. Let him think Javi was a decent man as long as possible. She was sure that once Javi had accepted that things were over between them, he’d tell his dad about this other woman. Unless she was just another one night stand, in which case, Chucho need never know.

********************************************************************  
Javi hung up the phone. He’d hoped his dad could get through to Cassidy, but she’d proven just as stubborn with him as she’d been with Javi. He glanced at his watch. It was only eight thirty; plenty of time for a run to the liquor store for more whiskey and cigarettes. There was no reason to stop smoking now. If he was honest with himself, the only thing keeping him from getting stinking drunk was the need to be in the office the next day, the need to do everything he could to make sure none of the other kids in the program ended up like Andre.

Monica wisely avoided him the next morning, even though he was sure she wanted to lecture him on his rumpled clothes and the pack of cigarettes displayed prominently on his desk. She merely shook her head a little as he headed outside for a smoke break before their weekly meeting with the chief of police. He knew she was disappointed in him, but Javi didn’t give a damn. He was going to wallow in his misery as long as he could, knowing that if he went off the deep end, Monica would haul his butt back to shore.

He threw himself into his work, getting to the office at seven and often staying until eight o’clock or even later. He took work home on the weekends and started carrying a pager, letting everyone know he was only a phone call away. He even gave his number to some of the higher risk kids, telling them they could call any time of the day or night if they needed to talk. He spent more than one long night on the phone with Carlos or Leticia or Martin, doing his best to listen and not judge. If they made it to the next morning without using or running with their crew, he counted it a win. He worked with their schools to arrange for extra tutoring hours to keep them off the streets. He even forked over money for baby formula when Mom’s child support payment was late or gas money so a dad could make it to a job interview. He loaned out several of his ties for job interviews and taught a dozen boys how to tie a Windsor knot. 

Every night, when he finally made it home, he poured a few fingers of whiskey, smoked far too many cigarettes, and ate junk that would make Monica cringe. The apartment was just a place to catch a few hours of sleep, take a shower, and maybe watch a movie on the VCR to escape reality for a while. Work was his life and it was all that kept him going.

Thanksgiving came and Javi told Chucho he had to work the day before and the day after, so there was no point in driving all the way to Laredo. While the police department never shut down, his department had been given Friday as a paid holiday as well as Thanksgiving Day, but Javi declined to tell Chucho this. He reluctantly joined Monica and her family at Rob’s mother’s place for Thanksgiving Dinner, but left as soon as he politely could.

“Stay for a while,” Rob pleaded. “Watch the game with us.”

“Thanks, man, but this is your family,” Javi replied. “You don’t need me bringing you all down. I’ll be okay.”

Monica pressed a paper plate of leftovers wrapped in foil into his hands. “Do not work tomorrow,” she said firmly. Javi couldn’t lie to her, so he didn’t answer. They both knew full well he’d taken home a stack of paperwork to keep himself occupied over the long weekend.

It was harder to avoid going home for Christmas, but Javi was saved at the last minute by a torrential storm that brought rain and hail and even brief flurries of sleet, leading to the closure of many highways and a flash flood outside Laredo that washed out the road that led to Chucho’s ranch.

“You might as well stay put, son,” he said on the phone. “By the time they get the roads cleared, you’ll be due back at work. You can come down and pick up your present later.” Javi promised to do just that, even though he and Chucho both knew he was lying. He hadn’t been home in months.

They did talk on the phone, though. Their conversations were stilted as they carefully avoided talking about Cassidy. Chucho mentioned seeing her around town now and then, but he was casual about it, mixing news of her in with the usual gossip about other people that Javi knew. She was working part time at the feed store, having taken over for Jenny the cashier, who was on maternity leave. Chucho also mentioned that someone had seen Cassidy working as a bagger at the grocery store, but he couldn’t confirm since it wasn’t the store he frequented. Dr. Hamblin mentioned in passing that Nugget was still not sound enough to ride, but Cassidy refused to sell him, for fear he’d end up at the slaughterhouse. 

Hamblin had been on the ranch to treat Buster for a small abscess in his hind foot, the result of a stone bruise sustained while chasing a particularly obstinate cow through a gully. Cassidy had trailered him over to Chucho’s a couple of days after the breakup and sent Javi a formal letter stating that he should start paying his boarding fees to his father instead of her. Luis was riding him every few days and sang his praises every time he slid out of the saddle. Chucho joked that he was going to give him to Luis if Javi didn’t get his butt down there, but even though he missed the horse, Javi knew he couldn’t look at him without thinking of Cassidy, so he stayed away.

A few days after New Year’s, Monica dragged herself into Javi’s office. “You look horrible,” he said without thinking. It was true. Despite having a three year old and a five year old at home, she was always put together. On this day, she had no makeup on and looked pale.

“Hold that thought,” she said, dashing out of the room. When she came back a few minutes later, it was clear she’d thrown up.

“Hungover?” Javi asked. He’d never seen her drink more than one beer or glass of wine, so he was surprised.

“Morning sickness,” she mumbled, folding herself into the chair in the corner. “I told Rob to get a vasectomy, since the insurance company wouldn’t let me get my tubes tied, but he wouldn’t listen. So, we’re having number three.” She smiled weakly. “And I’m not letting him touch me again until he does get the snip-snip. Three kids is more than enough.”

“Congratulations, I guess,” Javi said, suppressing a laugh. “Is Rob freaking out?”

“Oh, at first he was all Mister Macho,” she said. “Then I reminded him he gets to take care of the little rug rat on top of the other two and that sobered him up quickly enough.” She leaned forward. “I didn’t come here to throw up on you, I promise. I wanted to show you something.” 

She handed him a brochure. The cover featured a photo of a small boy with Down Syndrome on the back of a horse, smiling broadly. The words Blue Ridge Equine Therapy and Horse Rescue were at the top of the page.

“Nice,” Javi said. “But I don’t understand.”

Monica nodded at the brochure. “They mostly do kids with disabilities, developmental and physical issues, but the woman who runs it said she’d be open to doing some psychological therapy, too. I know you said working with your horse helped you with your depression after you quit the DEA. I was wondering if you think something like this could fit into our program.”

Javi flipped the brochure open. Photos of smiling children riding horses and brushing horses were scattered among paragraphs describing how the charity rescued horses from abusive homes and auctions where they were vulnerable to being sold to slaughterhouses. They retrained the horses and either adopted them out or used them in their therapy program in conjunction with a local hospital’s pediatric department.

Monica got out of her chair and came to stand beside him. She laid her hand on his shoulder. “I know it probably reminds you of Cassidy,” she said quietly, “which is why I didn’t bring it up sooner, but I think it might help our kids. Mary Sue -- yeah, that’s her real name -- said they could help with the new intake horses, get them used to being groomed and handled without being afraid, and then they could assist with the therapy sessions. They have volunteers who lead the horses around, others who help the kids get on and off the horses, stuff like that. There are physical therapists who are in charge of the actual therapy but they concentrate on the kids. Our kids could focus on the horses.”

Javi nodded. “Yeah, yeah, I think it’s worth looking into,” he said. “Set up a meeting with her and I’ll find out what kind of funding we might be able to get.” He leaned back in his chair. “If we can get some of these kids out of the city, even one day a week, show them there’s more to the world than their neighborhood and the mall, it’ll help us help them.”

Monica squeezed his shoulder. “Good,” she said. “I was afraid you’d be resistant … that it might remind you too much of …”

He laid his hand on top of hers, cutting her off. “I’m fine,” he lied. “And you’re right, I know first hand how helpful working with horses can be for mental health. I’d like to get a list of the kids in the program who have the most severe psychological issues, offer this to them first.”

“You got it, boss,” she said. “I’ll set up a meeting with Mary Sue and get that list to you as soon as I can. If I can get back to my office without barfing again.” She laid her hand against her stomach. “Don’t take this personally, Javi, but men suck.”

After she left, Javi took a few minutes to stare at the brochure again. He carefully traced the horse’s head in the cover photo. It was a dark bay, very much like Buster. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, then shoved the brochure into his desk drawer and went back to the report he was typing up on the computer.


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Monica has an idea and Cassidy gets a huge shock 
> 
> Chapter warnings: language, description of panic attack

When Javi submitted a request for additional funding to add an equine therapy component to his department’s program, he hadn’t expected much. To his surprise, the city had responded within a week with a promise of at least $5,000 a year and the possibility of more. It turned out that the police chief’s wife and the mayor’s niece were both involved in a riding group that performed at local rodeos and parades, raising money for charity. Both of them were enthusiastic about adding a horse centered program to the city’s slate, and had applied subtle pressure to the chief and the mayor.

Monica worked with Mary Sue to draw up a proposal. Things progressed nicely as spring approached, until the day Monica appeared in Javi’s office, a frown on her face. “Bad news, boss,” she said.

“What’s up?” Javi asked.

“Mary Sue just got an offer she can’t refuse,” she said, sinking into the chair. Her belly was getting bigger and she took every opportunity to sit. “A very rich family in Dallas -- I’m talking J.R. Ewing rich -- has a child with several disabilities. They’ve made substantial donations to the Children’s Hospital in Dallas and they heard about the work Mary Sue is doing from someone who had been visiting the hospital here. Long story short, they’ve offered her a ranch -- like a five thousand acre ranch -- and a budget of $50,000 a year to move her organization up there so she can work with their kid. Of course, they’ll be able to write most of it off on their taxes, but still, it’s an amazing opportunity for her and they’ve even offered to help her husband find a job in Dallas. She couldn’t say no.”

“Where does that put us?” Javi asked, leaning back in his chair. He’d just gotten a tentative promise to kick an additional thousand dollars into the program budget from a local car dealer, provided he got a mention in all promotional materials and a small ad in the Blue Ridge brochures.

“Square one,” Monica admitted. “She did say the owner of the property she’s leasing would be amenable to transferring her lease with all the existing agreements to another nonprofit.”

“Which doesn’t do us any good, since she’s the only equine nonprofit in the area,” Javi sighed.

Monica shifted in her chair. “Well, maybe we could get someone from elsewhere to move up here,” she said carefully. “Like maybe someone from Laredo?”

“First of all, she won’t answer my calls. Second of all, she’s not a charity,” Javi said curtly. 

“She’s not a charity _right now_ ,” Monica said. “But Rob’s got several nonprofits as clients. The paperwork isn’t that difficult, and if she registers as a nonprofit, she can get donations to help with expenses.”

Javi stood up. “She won’t listen to me,” he said. “She won’t even talk to me or my dad.” He ran a hand through his hair. He knew from what Chucho had mentioned that things were not going well financially for Cassidy, and this could really help her out. If she was willing to hear him out.

“How about if Rob and I get everything together, figure out exactly what she’d need to register with the IRS and then we figure out some way to get her to listen to our pitch?” Monica said. “If we have to, we can drive down there and ambush her at home.” She paused. “Look, Javi, I know you still love her. That’s abundantly clear. If there’s even the slightest chance this will get you two talking again … if the distance was the issue, then this solves that problem. She’d be a fifteen, twenty minute drive from your apartment. Hell, you could move out there with her and commute to work, no sweat.”

Javi stared out the window, which didn’t have much of a view, just an alley that allowed access for delivery trucks and the brick wall of the adjacent building. “It’s worth a shot,” he said quietly. “But if she says no, that’s it. It’s done.”

“Got it, boss,” Monica said. “I’m gonna go call Rob.”

******************************************************************************  
Cassidy heaved a bag of chicken feed onto the stack on the end cap display. It was selling well, and she’d had to replenish the stack once already today. She didn’t mind working at the feed store. It smelled amazing and she knew that every hour she worked earned her a bale of hay or a bag of pellets. Gary gave her a 15% employee discount, and often threw in samples the feed company salesmen left on their rounds. Jenny was back from her maternity leave, so Cassidy wasn’t getting as many hours, but Jenny was glad to have backup in case she needed to stay home with the baby, and it was still well worth her while to keep the job. Not to mention it was a thousand times more interesting than her mind numbing job bagging at the Cash-n-Carry. 

The bell tinkled above the door and she glanced up to see who was coming into the store. “Damn it,” she muttered as she saw it was Chucho. Gary was at the bank and she was alone so there was no way she could avoid him.

“Hey, Mr. Pena,” she said, “what can I do for you?”

“Well, first, you can call me Chucho,” he said, leaning casually against the counter. “We’re still neighbors after all. And second, I have a favor to ask you. Which might turn into a job for you, so hear me out.”

Cassidy stood behind the counter, arms crossed over her chest. “Go ahead,” she said warily.

“A friend of mine bought a horse. Supposed to be some really well bred stock horse from a fancy ranch in Oklahoma. Turns out he’s well bred all right, but he’s been running the range for three years and the son of a bitch is wild as a pronghorn. They had to lasso him and shoot him full of tranquilizers to get him on the trailer and my friend isn’t having any luck taming him down. They gelded him but that just knocked him out for half a day and he’s still breathing fire. Santos is ready to cut his losses and get rid of the crazy _cabron_ but I told him I’d talk to you about trying your hand at him. If you can’t train him, he’ll end up at the slaughterhouse or getting shot for hurting someone.”

“And what’s in it for me?” Cassidy asked.

“Santos will pay training fees if you’re willing to take him on,” Chucho said. “I told him you have a good setup. There’s a transport leaving his town this week, and he can get the horse on it. They’ll drop him off at my place, since I have a cattle chute next to the main road. It’s one of those big horse vans and they can’t handle the narrower roads. I figure we can either wrestle him into my trailer to get him to your place, or pony him over like you did with Buster after he got loose. Anyway, if you’re willing to take a look at him, they’ll drop him off sometime Saturday morning. I’ll call you when he gets there and you can come over and see what you think. Santos said if you can’t take him on, I should put him in the next auction.”

Cassidy closed her eyes for a moment. The last thing she needed right now was another horse, especially a crazy one, but if this Santos was willing to pay training fees, and it would save a horse from slaughter, how could she say no? “Okay,” she said. “But just to look at the horse, Chucho. That’s all.”

Chucho held up his hands. “That’s all I’m asking for, Cassidy,” he said. “I’m just trying to help out a friend. And a horse. And a neighbor.” He held out his hand and she shook it. “Good, I’ll call you when the monster arrives.” He tipped his hat to her and walked out of the shop, the bell tinkling in his wake.

************************************************************************  
Cassidy pulled her truck up under a tree in front of Chucho’s house. There was already an assortment of vehicles in the driveway, including the truck Javi had driven and a faded green minivan she’d never seen before.

Luis waved at her from where he was tinkering with the engine on Chucho’s ancient Gator. “ _El jefe’s_ in the house,” he called out. “Said to tell you to go on in and get a cup of coffee. He’s got a few phone calls to make, then he’ll take you to see _el diablo_.” He laughed and shook his head.

Cassidy went up the steps to the front door. She knew Chucho would tell her to come in the kitchen door, but it felt more proper to enter through the front of the house like a guest. “Hello?” she called out as she stepped inside the house. “Chucho?”

“In the kitchen,” he called out. “Come on in and help yourself to coffee. I’ve got one more call to make.”

She walked through the living room and into the kitchen. She froze as soon as she reached the doorway. “What the hell?” she stammered. Javi was sitting at the table next to Chucho.

“Now don’t get mad, Cassidy,” Chucho said. “I’m sorry I lied to you but I needed to get you over here. Javi needs to talk to you and you won’t answer the phone, so we had to do this.”

Javi was fiddling with his coffee cup, clearly nervous. “Sit down,” he said quietly.

“I’ll stand,” she replied, although she did step further into the kitchen and take the cup that Chucho held out. She didn’t want coffee but it helped to have something to do with her hands.

“Look, Cassidy,” Javi began but her attention was diverted when someone else walked into the room. She was tall, with long hair and a curvaceous figure, one that Cassidy recognized. And she was even curvier now, clearly several months pregnant.

Cassidy dropped the cup of coffee, not even pausing as it shattered against the tile floor. She ran blindly for the back door, hardly able to breathe, her legs rubbery and weak. “Cassidy!” Chucho and Javi both called but she forged ahead. She reached the back porch before her legs gave out and she collapsed into a ball on the floorboards, sobbing and whimpering. No wonder Javi wanted to talk to her. He wanted to rub it in her face. He’d not only found another woman, he was having a baby with her. They were probably getting married.

Her throat constricted until she began to panic at her inability to swallow. She felt a hand on her back, rubbing gentle circles, and once she’d calmed down marginally, she glanced over to see the woman kneeling beside her. “It’s okay, Cassidy,” she said calmly. “You’re having a panic attack. You’re going to be okay.”

“Get away from me,” she hissed. “Don’t you _dare_ touch me!” She crumpled even further onto the floor. The last thing she wanted was Javi’s new girlfriend consoling her.

“Hey.” She heard Javi kneel down on her other side. “Don’t talk to her like that.” He laid a hesitant hand on her back, and she shook him off. 

“You don’t touch me either,” she said. “And I’ll talk to that bitch anyway I want to.”

“I know you’re upset, Cass,” Javi said evenly, “but that doesn’t give you the right to talk to Monica that way. She’s just trying to help.”

“Cassidy, why are you so mad at me?” Monica asked carefully. “You don’t even know me.”

“I know enough,” Cassidy managed to spit out. 

“Now, just because I’m Javier’s assistant doesn’t mean I’ll automatically take his side,” Monica went on. “Why don’t you sit up and when you’ve calmed down a bit we can start over again.”

“What the hell?” Another man had joined them on the porch. “I leave for five minutes and you knock Javi’s girl on the ground? Your methods are getting weirder and weirder, Monica.”

“Shut up, Rob,” Monica said. “Cassidy, this asshole is my husband Roberto. Just ignore him.”

“Wait. What? Your husband?” Cassidy was incredibly confused. “Oh, my god, this is worse than I thought.”

Monica helped her sit up. “I don’t understand,” she said. Javi, Chucho and Rob were all kneeling around her, looking just as confused as she was.

“You and Javi … and your husband … whose baby is it?” Cassidy managed to stammer.

“Um, Rob’s of course,” Monica said. “Wait, did you think me and Javi ..?” She started to laugh, then Rob joined in.

“I saw you,” Cassidy insisted. “I saw you in Javi’s apartment. He was smoking on the balcony. You gave him a drink and rubbed his back and took him inside.”

Javi’s brow was furrowed. “What are you talking about?”

Rob’s eyes went wide. “Wait, wait, I think I know what happened. Was this right before you left Javi the message breaking up with him?” Cassidy nodded. Rob looked smug. “The night after Andre died. Monica and I took dinner over to Javi’s place so we could make sure he was all right. And he went out on the balcony to smoke and I told Monica to take him a glass of whiskey and she did. And you were there?”

Cassidy could hardly think straight but she nodded. “I was in my truck,” she said flatly. “I’d driven up to talk to Javi and I saw him and I saw her and … I left.” She started crying and folded up, her face pressed against her knees.

“Oh, sweetheart,” Javi said as he slid his arm around her shoulders. “If you’d just talked to me.”

She shook her head. “I didn’t want to,” she said between sobs. “I thought you were cheating on me. You hadn’t been down for weeks, I was already upset because of …” She stopped herself before she blurted out something she didn’t want the others to hear. “I was upset.”

Javi pulled her against him and let her cry. She heard Chucho, Monica, and Rob go back inside. Javi didn’t say anything, he just held her. Once she was out of tears, he gently kissed her forehead. “Do you think you can come inside and hear what we have to say now?”

“We?” she stammered.

“Me and Monica and Rob,” he said softly. “We came down here with a business proposal for you. Well, for you and me. I mean, for you and my department.” He shook his head. “Just come inside and listen.” He helped her to her feet and wiped the lingering tears from her face with his thumbs. “Just hear us out and we’ll go from there.”

“Okay,” she said. “I’ll listen.”

******************************************************************************  
They talked for several hours. Javi let Monica and Rob do most of the talking, content just to sit next to Cassidy. She listened attentively and asked a million questions, especially as Rob explained the requirements for forming a nonprofit. “You’ll need a mission statement, which isn’t that hard,” Rob said. “And a board of directors, but that shouldn’t be a problem. I’ll be happy to act as your financial officer, at least to start, and I’m sure we can get one of the High Society Cowgirls on board, which will give you some clout with the city. Maybe even the mayor’s niece but at least one of her friends. They’re all bored housewives looking for good deeds to do while they play with their horses.”

At one point, Chucho slid a plate of turkey sandwiches and a pitcher of sweet tea onto the table. Javi poured a glass for Cassidy and she thanked him shyly, letting her fingers brush against his as she took it from him. 

Finally, Monica sat back. “So, do you want to go for it? I know it’s a huge undertaking, and we’re under a bit of a time constraint so we don’t lose funding, but it’s definitely doable.”

Cassidy looked down at the table, chewing lightly on her lower lip. After a long moment, she nodded. “Yeah, let’s do it,” she said. 

Rob pumped his fist in the air, which prompted Monica to shake her head and call him a dork. Rob just shrugged. “And now,” he said, pushing back from the table, “I think it’s time for these two,” -- he pointed at Javi and Cassidy -- “to have a nice long talk and patch things up. Because I for one am sick and tired of Javi moping around all the time.” He made a shooing motion with his hands. “Go on, get out of here, go find somewhere to canoodle.”

“Canoodle, really?” Monica said. “Who are you, my grandpa?”

Javi stood up and pulled Cassidy’s chair out for her. As she got up, he couldn’t help letting his hand rest against her back for a second as he steered her toward the door. He let her walk through first and simply followed. She led him away from the house, toward her truck, which was parked in the shade.

“You probably think I’m an idiot,” she said as she unlatched the tailgate and laid it down. She hopped up to sit in the truck bed, her feet dangling over the end of the tailgate. Javi joined her.

“Not at all,” he said. “But I am curious about what triggered the whole thing. You said you were upset about something, and that made you drive to San Antonio to talk to me.” He left it at that, hoping she’d share with him but willing to let it go if she wasn’t ready.

She reached over and took his hand, sliding her fingers between his. It felt right, and Javi relaxed just a bit. She told him about the pregnancy test, her decision, and how she’d been fantasizing about things before she pulled into the parking lot and saw him and Monica on the balcony.

“I probably should have charged up there and confronted you,” she admitted. “But I was just so shattered. I … I was afraid that instead of telling you off and dumping your sorry ass, I’d end up forgiving you.” She played with his fingers. “I overreacted.”

“Not really,” Javi said, leaning back on one elbow while she kept his other hand in her lap. “I’m sure it looked really bad. And I don’t have a stellar record of fidelity.” He huffed. “I probably would have thought the same thing if I was you.”

Cassidy dropped his hand and leaned back next to him, propped up on both elbows. She idly kicked her feet in the air. “I’m sorry I doubted you,” she said softly.

“I’m sorry I didn’t make more of an effort,” Javi said.

She shook her head. “No, you made way more of an effort than I did. I didn’t want to give up anything. I wanted my independence, and you, at the same time, and that wasn’t fair to you.”

“Were you really going to rent out your place and move in with me?” he asked.

She smiled. “Yeah. I really was.” She reached over and ruffled his hair. “You need a trim.”

He frowned. Monica had said the same thing last week. Then she leaned forward and brushed her lips against his. “I missed you,” she whispered.

“I missed you, too,” he said. He shifted so he was in a more comfortable position and kissed her back, just a bit more deeply. He felt her sigh and relax against him. 

“Are we good?” he asked after a long moment. “I mean, I know you want to go ahead with the move to San Antonio, starting up the nonprofit and all that, but you and me … are we okay?”

“We’re okay,” she said. “We’re good.”

The truck bed wasn’t the most comfortable place for a make out session, but they didn’t care. It was cool in the shade and the twittering of the birds overhead was soothing, so the bits of hay that worked their way inside their clothes and the hard steel ridges digging into their backs and sides weren’t much of a deterrent. 

During a moment of rest, Javi smoothed her hair back from her face. “Were you really disappointed that you weren’t pregnant?” he murmured.

She closed her eyes and nodded. “Yes,” she said, as color filled her cheeks. “I was.” She opened her eyes. “I thought I’d be relieved but … I wanted a future with you, Javi. I still do.”

“We’ll have it,” he said. “I promise.”


	21. Chapter 21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Javi and Cassidy make up properly and Chucho has a surprise for Javi
> 
> Chapter warnings: language, unprotected sex

Monica and Rob had to get back to San Antonio to rescue their babysitter, but Chucho volunteered to drive Javi back in the morning. After the minivan had disappeared down the drive, Chucho turned to them and said, “Go on, get out of here. Go home, you two.”

“Home?” Javi asked, his brow furrowed. 

“Well, you sure as hell don’t live here anymore,” Chucho replied, “and if I understand the deal you all worked out, you’re going to be living together at that place outside San Antonio, right?”

Cassidy felt her face flush as Javi nodded. Chucho shrugged. “So you live with her now. Go home and show her how much you missed her,” he said, slapping Javi on the back. “I’ll call before I pick you up in the morning, make sure you’re decent first.”

Javi rolled his eyes. “Grow up, Dad,” he said. 

Chucho flipped him off and walked away. “Telling _me_ to grow up, _dios mio_ ,” he muttered, shaking his head.

Cassidy pulled her keys out of her pocket. “Shall we?” she asked, suddenly feeling shy again. Javi nodded and climbed into the passenger seat while she settled herself behind the wheel. They were quiet on the short ride back to her place. When they arrived, he hopped out right away and came around to the driver’s side to help her down, even though she didn’t need it.

Linus greeted them as soon as they walked in, purring loudly and throwing himself at Javi’s feet. “He missed me,” Javi said incredulously as he bent down to pet the cat.

“Of course he did,” Cassidy said quietly. “We all did.” Javi stood up and laid one hand against her cheek. He leaned in and kissed her gently on the lips.

“I missed all of you, too,” he whispered. He kissed the tip of her nose. “ _Te amo_.”

She led him to the couch, where Linus joined them, perching on the back and purring as they kissed each other slowly. Eventually, he decided they weren’t paying him enough attention, and poked his whiskered nose in between their faces. Cassidy laughed. “You have tuna breath, kiddo,” she said, shoving him away.

Javi scritched the cat’s head. “Aw, he’s just jealous because he’s had you all to himself lately,” he said. “Sorry, buddy, but you’re gonna have to share her again.” Linus made some biscuits on the cushion and leaned into Javi’s touch.

“I don’t think he’ll mind much,” Cassidy said. She scratched Linus’ back, making his butt go up in the air. The cat was eating up the attention; she’d been ignoring him too much, so busy running back and forth to her jobs and the barn to spend time fussing over him.

“Oh, shit!” she cried as she caught a glimpse of the clock on the wall.

“What?” Javi said.

“I have a shift at the Cash-n-Carry in fifteen minutes,” she said. “I’ve got to go.” She started to stand up but Javi grabbed her hand and pulled her back down onto the couch.

“Call in sick,” he said. “Or better yet, call in and quit.”

“I can’t,” she said, shaking her head. “I need the money.”

“No, you don’t,” Javi said. He twined his fingers through hers. “I can cover you until you get settled in San Antonio.”

She wanted to protest, but the look in Javi’s eyes as she started to open her mouth made her change her mind. “You’re right,” she said. “We’re in this together now, aren’t we?”

“Yeah, together,” Javi said with a smile. “Now call that store and tell them where to shove that job.”

She felt almost giddy as she got up and dialed the phone. “Hey, Jackson, hi, it’s Cassidy. Yeah, I know my shift’s about to start but something’s come up. I won’t be coming in today. Or ever again. I quit.” She listened to the shift manager rant and rave for a minute, then hung up the phone, tired of listening to his fat ass. 

“Let’s celebrate,” she told Javi when she got back to the living room. She held her hands out and led him into the bedroom.

***************************************************************************  
Javi was more than ready and it took an immense amount of willpower to pull away from Cassidy long enough to rummage in the nightstand. “Wait, where are the condoms?” he asked.

“I, um, I threw them out,” Cassidy said quietly. “I figured I didn’t need them anymore and they reminded me of you … I tossed out a lot of stuff that reminded me of you.” Her face crumpled and Javi felt his heart break all over again for her.

“It’s okay,” he said. “We can … we can do other stuff.” 

She reached down and ran her hand over his erection, causing him to shudder. “But I want to be close to you Javi,” she said softly. “It’s been too long. I want to feel you inside me.” She kissed him and shifted one leg to wrap around his hip.

“But … it won’t be safe,” Javi said when she released his mouth from hers. “Are you sure?”

“I’m sure,” she said, already lining him up with her entrance. “I trust you, Javi. We’re both clean and … I’m not afraid of getting pregnant. You know that.” She kissed him again and tilted her hips, taking him in slowly. He grabbed her hips and pulled her closer, sinking into her with a gasp against her mouth. How he’d missed this, their bodies as close as humanly possible, melding into one as they fell into an effortless rhythm, hips rolling and backs arching as they moved together. He didn’t last long, since it had been a while.

“Where … where do you want me …” he panted, barely able to control his tongue let alone his dick.

“Inside,” Cassidy said. “Always inside me.”

He shuddered against her as he let go. It felt different this time, knowing that his cum wasn’t being collected by a condom. It was filling her up and the idea excited him in a way he hadn’t experienced before. Maybe she would get pregnant. Maybe she wouldn’t. But it was possible and he wasn’t afraid of it. He wanted it. As he collapsed against her, he imagined her stomach swelling like Monica’s, growing a baby -- _his_ baby -- inside of her. 

“Oh, God,” he gasped. “That … that was …” He had no words.

“I know,” Cassidy said, wrapping her legs tightly around his waist, not letting him go. “I know.” She kissed him hungrily, still rocking against him. He slipped a hand between them and teased her clit until she cried out his name, her head thrown back against the pillow, mouth agape and eyes unfocused with delight.

Finally, they relaxed, untangled their limbs and cuddled together, catching their breath. His fingers traced lightly over her skin and she nibbled lazily on his shoulders and collarbone. “I love you,” she murmured.

“I love you, too,” he replied. They lay there in silence a while longer, until he shifted to get rid of a kink in his back and asked, “Should we get cleaned up or do you want to go again?”

“What do you think?” Cassidy replied, slipping her tongue into his mouth.

*********************************************************************************  
They finally got out of bed to feed and water the horses, give Linus his dinner, and have a snack themselves. Cassidy felt ashamed at the bareness of her fridge and cupboards, but as she’d explained to Javi, she always made sure the mortgage was paid and the animals fed before she bought her own groceries. They had peanut butter and saltines, with a can of fruit cocktail for dessert. She’d gotten it on clearance at the Cash-n-Carry because it was slightly dented. 

“I do eat, I promise,” she told him as she poured another glass of iced tea. 

“I’m sure you do,” he said, his eyes concerned. “But when you get to San Antonio, we’re going over to Monica and Rob’s place for dinner at least once a week. Monica loves to feed people and Rob loves to talk, so they’re always up for company.”

“I’m sorry I overreacted today,” she said, sighing as she remembered her hysterics. “She didn’t deserve that.”

Javi laid a hand over hers. “No, she didn’t,” he said. “But why did you think we were there? Did you really think the baby was mine?”

She closed her eyes. “I thought … it’s stupid, but I thought you were there to rub my nose in it. Sort of say eff you, you had your chance and you blew it and now I’m with this woman, who’s a hundred times prettier than you’ll ever be, and we’re having a baby, and getting married, and …” She trailed off, shaking her head and laughing. “I know you wouldn’t be that petty, but I probably would be, if the situation were reversed.”

Javi squeezed her hand. “It’s okay.”

“No, it’s not,” she said, pulling her hand away. “I was so mean to you, and your dad. God, I was a selfish, self-involved bitch!”

“You’d been hurt before,” Javi said evenly. “You didn’t want to get hurt again so you decided to strike first.” He shrugged. “But that’s all in the past. I don’t care.”

“I do,” she admitted. “I feel terrible about what I put you through. About what I put myself through.” She bit her lip, fighting back tears.

“It’s done,” Javi insisted. “It’s over.” He got up, knelt down next to her chair and wrapped his arms around her. “I’m back. You’re back. _We’re_ back. And we’re not going to screw it up this time. I promise.” He kissed her neck. “Now let’s go back to bed and get some rest. Knowing my father, he’ll want to leave at the ass crack of dawn so he can get me up there and be back in time for him to hit up whoever’s cooking carne asada today.”

*************************************************************  
Chucho called at seven, ready to go, and Javi said, “I told you so.” He hopped in the shower and was ready on the porch when his father pulled up in his truck at seven thirty. 

“I’ll call you tonight,” Javi told Cassidy. “So you’d better pick up.” He smiled and booped her on the nose to let her know he was just teasing.

“I will,” she said. He kissed her and then hopped in the truck next to his dad.

“Things okay?” Chucho said. He handed Javi a travel mug of coffee and a foil wrapped burrito overflowing with chorizo and egg.

“Things are good,” Javi said, leaning back in his seat. “It’s gonna work this time, Dad. I’m going to make it work.”

They had a good talk on the way to San Antonio. It had been far too long since they’d been able to talk face to face, and with no awkwardness left between them now that he and Cassidy were back together, they were able to address things properly. Javi filled Chucho in on some of what had happened, leaving out some of the more sensitive bits, like the pregnancy test. If Cassidy wanted to tell him about that, she could, but Javi didn’t feel like it was his place to share it.

When they reached Javi’s apartment, Chucho used the bathroom and then prepared to head back to Laredo. As Javi walked him to the door, Chucho reached into his pocket and pulled out a small box. “I thought you might want your abuela’s ring,” he said gruffly. 

Javi was stunned. He’d bought a ring for Lorraine all those years ago, never even dreaming his dad would ever part with the ring his mother had worn. Besides, he’d known Lorraine would want something bigger and flashier than the petite diamond and emerald set in the delicate silver ring that Chucho’s father had bought in Mexico from a master silversmith in the tiny village his ancestors had come from.

“Are you sure?” he asked, hesitant to take the box.

“Yeah,” Chucho said. “But you can’t give it to her unless _you’re_ sure. One hundred and ten percent sure, got it?”

Javi nodded and took the worn velvet box, turning it over and over in his hand. “Got it.” Then he grabbed his dad in a fierce hug. “I’ll wait until the time is just right.”

“But not too long,” Chucho scolded. “I’d like to have grandkids before I’m too old to enjoy them.” He winked, then opened the door and walked away.

Javi shut the door and leaned against it, still staring in awe at the jewelry box in his hand. He wasn’t sure yet if or when he’d offer it to Cassidy, but he knew one thing: if he did, he was definitely not going to leave her standing at the altar.


	22. Chapter 22

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Javi gets a sweet surprise.
> 
> Chapter warnings: none, just shameless fluff 😍

Javi tossed his briefcase into the backseat and loosened his tie. He waved goodbye to one of the receptionists who was also getting in her car, and slid behind the wheel. He was getting used to the forty-five minute commute to and from work, but some days were better than others. The traffic had been a mess that morning due to some road construction on several streets downtown, and he hoped the workers had already knocked off for the day.

As he drove, he switched idly between radio stations. On the way to work, he often listened to NPR to catch up on the news, but going home he preferred music. He’d found three stations that played stuff he liked, which was way better than his choices in Laredo.

When he saw the sign for Blue Ridge Ranch, he clicked off the radio and slowed the car. The transition from the road to the drive needed some work and if he wasn’t careful, the car would bottom out in the big pothole that had started to form. He made a mental note to ask the landlord to have it repaired. He also had to slow down because there had been several times one of the kids or Coco (who Chucho had claimed was “sad” that Javi had moved away, even though apparently she hadn’t cared when he lived in the apartment) had darted across in front of him; once he’d even come bumper to nose with a loose horse, a huge part draft named Emerson with a penchant for unlocking stalls and gates.

He parked under the carport and took his briefcase inside. Linus stretched and meowed once, then plopped back down on the back of the couch. Javi gave the cat a quick scratch on the head on his way to the bathroom. As he stepped out the back door, Coco flew across the side yard and slobbered all over him.

“Where’s Cassidy?,” he asked her as he bent down to ruffle her fur and rub her ears. It was a rhetorical question, not just because the dog couldn’t talk, but because there was only one place Cassidy would be at this time of the day: the barn.

He found her leaning against the fence that stretched across the back of the turnouts, watching Cricket roll in the dirt. He stood next to her and rested his arms on the top rail. “She does like to roll, doesn’t she?”

Cassidy laughed. “There’s an old saying, a horse is worth a hundred dollars for every time it can roll completely over. She did it five times one day, and accounting for inflation, that means she’s worth at least five grand.”

“Not bad,” Javi said. He reached out and tucked a stray strand of hair behind her ear. She always put it into a neat ponytail or braid in the morning, but by the end of the day, it was starting to fall out.

“How was your day?,” she asked. 

He sighed. “Same old, same old,” he said. “Two meetings that should have been memos, and a stack of paperwork an inch thick. How about you?”

She turned around so her back was to the fence. “Pretty good, actually,” she said. “The vet came out. You’ll be happy to know that the mare we picked up at the auction last week isn’t pregnant.” She paused and looked shyly at him. “But I am.” 

Javi just stared at her for a moment, wondering if he’d actually heard what he thought he’d heard. As a huge, goofy grin spread across Cassidy’s face, he realized that he had. “Are you serious?,” he said. 

She nodded. “Yeah, I kind of suspected it but I went to the drugstore today and picked up a test.” She reached into her back pocket and pulled out a test stick with a bright pink + mark on it. “I have an appointment with the doctor on Friday to confirm and find out how far along I am, but yeah, we’re having a baby.”

Javi wrapped his arms around her, speechless. 

“Hey, Mr. P,” called a voice. He looked over Cassidy’s shoulder to see Alex, a fifteen year old who’d gone from missing school half the time and getting D’s and F’s to a solid B average and almost perfect attendance. He was thriving in the new program and Javi couldn’t have been prouder. Alex came out to the ranch two days a week after school and almost every Saturday.

“Hey, Alex, what’s up?” Javi called back.

“Not much,” Alex said. “I finished doing up the stalls, Miss Yates. Anything else you need?”

“No, you can just hang out till your ride comes,” Cassidy said. “There’s carrots in the feed room if you want to hand out treats.”

“Cool,” he said. He stole a glance at Javi’s hands around Cassidy’s waist and smirked. “I’ll leave you two alone.”

“Yeah, yeah, get out of here,” Javi said. When Alex had disappeared around the corner, he leaned down and kissed Cassidy’s forehead. “So, should we move the wedding up?”

Cassidy made a face. “And deprive my momma of the indignity of watching her daughter walk down the aisle in a maternity wedding dress?” she laughed. “Oh, no, baby, I am going to waddle up to the altar even if I need a wheelbarrow to carry my big old belly.” 

Javi chuckled. “Well, you can do a combination wedding/baby shower, I guess,” he said. “Make things easier on everyone.”

“No way,” Cassidy retorted. “I’m getting two gifts out of everyone. Mom can host the baby shower, and Monica can host the bridal shower. I’m milking this for all it’s worth.”

Cricket ambled over to them and shoved her head in between them, her warm, sweet breath washing over them. “Are you jealous?” Javi asked. “You’re going to be a big sister, what do you think of that?” The mare snorted, blowing bits of half-chewed hay all over them.

“You had to ask,” Cassidy said, laughing as Javi wiped at the blobs of green that covered his nice white dress shirt. 

He didn’t care, though. No shirt was worth more than the feeling he got, standing here with the woman he loved, the woman who’d just told him he was going to be a father. The sun was shining and they were surrounded by happy horses and happy kids. It was a long way from the streets of Colombia, but there was nowhere he’d rather be than right here. It had taken him a while, but Javier Pena finally felt like he was making a difference in the world.


End file.
